Learn Hardcore Spanish (Latin America): Me alegra que hayas sido tan paciente conmigo. - I’m glad that you have been so patient with me.

Spanish often says “I’m glad that…” with the verb alegrar in a “gustar-type” structure: Me alegra X = “X makes me happy.” That’s the natural choice before a clause with que. While Estoy alegre is grammatical, it’s not the usual way to introduce a cause; people prefer Me alegra que… or Estoy contento/a de que….

Who is the subject of alegra here?

The subject is the whole clause que hayas sido tan paciente conmigo. The pronoun me is an indirect object (“to me”). That’s why the verb is third-person singular: alegra. You can emphasize the person with a prepositional phrase: A mí me alegra… / A él le alegra…. The verb agrees with the subject, not with the person feeling the emotion.

Why is hayas sido in the subjunctive?

Because expressions of emotion like Me alegra que… trigger the subjunctive in the subordinate clause. You’re not asserting the fact; you’re reacting to it. Hence que hayas sido… instead of the indicative.

Why the present perfect subjunctive (hayas sido) instead of the simple present subjunctive (seas)?

Hayas sido: the patience is viewed as something that has occurred up to now (completed/recent but relevant).
Seas: presents it as a current/ongoing trait or behavior (more general or simultaneous with “now”).
Both are possible; choose based on whether you’re looking back at what happened or describing a present quality.

What’s the difference between hayas sido and has sido here?

After Me alegra que…, you must use the subjunctive: hayas sido. Using has sido (indicative) would be an error in this structure. If you change the connector to a causal one, you’d use the indicative, e.g., Me alegra porque has sido tan paciente…, but that slightly shifts the meaning from “I’m glad that X” to “I’m happy, because X (that’s the reason).”

Can I use fuiste tan paciente?

Not after Me alegra que…, because fuiste is indicative. If your main verb is in the past, you can say:

Me alegró que fueras/fueses tan paciente… (imperfect subjunctive), or
Me alegró que hubieras/hubieses sido tan paciente… (pluperfect subjunctive),
depending on the timing.

Why is it sido and not estado?

Because paciente as a quality pairs with ser: ser paciente. Estar paciente is very uncommon. A frequent alternative is to avoid the adjective and use a noun: tener paciencia → Me alegra que hayas tenido tanta paciencia conmigo.

Is Me alegro de que… also correct? Any difference from Me alegra que…?

Yes. With the reflexive verb alegrarse, you must include de: Me alegro de que hayas sido….

Me alegra que… (non-reflexive) highlights the cause (“It makes me happy that…”).
Me alegro de que… highlights your feeling (“I’m glad that…”).
In everyday use, both are functionally equivalent.

So is Me alegra de que… correct?

No. With the non‑reflexive alegrar, adding de is considered an error (dequeísmo). Say Me alegra que…. Use de only with alegrarse: Me alegro de que….

Do I need the que? Can I say Me alegra hayas sido…?

Standard Spanish requires que to introduce this content clause: Me alegra que hayas sido…. Dropping que is heard in very informal speech in some places, but it’s not recommended.

Why tan paciente and not tanto paciente or tanta paciencia?

tan + adjective/adverb: tan paciente = “so patient.”
tanto/a + noun: tanta paciencia = “so much patience.”
If you switch to the noun, you also switch the verb: Me alegra que hayas tenido tanta paciencia conmigo.

Can I use muy instead of tan?

Yes, but the nuance changes: muy = “very,” tan = “so.”

muy paciente: very patient.
tan paciente: so patient (often stronger/emphatic).

Does paciente change for gender/number?

As an adjective, paciente doesn’t change for gender: él/ella es paciente. It does change for number: son pacientes. In your sentence, it’s singular, so paciente.

Why conmigo and not con mí?

Spanish uses special fused forms with con: conmigo, contigo, consigo. With other prepositions you use mí: para mí, de mí. Also note the spelling: conmigo (with n), not “comigo.”

How would this change with usted or ustedes?

Usted: Me alegra que haya sido tan paciente conmigo.
Ustedes: Me alegra que hayan sido tan pacientes conmigo.
The subjunctive form of haber adjusts to the subject, and the adjective can go plural if you’re talking to several people.

Can I front the clause: Que hayas sido tan paciente conmigo me alegra?

Yes. Que hayas sido tan paciente conmigo me alegra is grammatical and puts emphasis on the clause. It’s less common but fine in formal or written style.

What happens if the main verb is in the past?

Use past-time subjunctive:

Overlapping/ongoing then: Me alegró que fueras/fueses tan paciente…
Completed before that past moment: Me alegró que hubieras/hubieses sido tan paciente…
Both are standard; choose based on the timeline you want.

Could I use porque instead of que?

You can, but it changes the structure and mood: Me alegra porque has sido tan paciente… (indicative) states the reason for your happiness, not the content you’re glad about. The default, idiomatic way for “I’m glad that…” is Me alegra que… + subjunctive.

Are there common regional alternatives in Latin America?

Yes:

Mexico: Me da gusto que hayas sido…; Qué bueno que hayas sido…
River Plate: Me pone contento/a que hayas sido…
All still take the subjunctive after que.

Do I put a comma before que?

No comma is needed: Me alegra que hayas sido…. You’d only use a comma if the clause is not essential or you’re inserting a parenthetical, which isn’t the case here.