Learn Hardcore Portuguese (Portugal): Quando a raiva aparece, é difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções. - When anger appears, it is hard to control words and emotions.

In Portuguese, abstract nouns such as emotions, qualities, and concepts very often take the definite article, especially when they are being talked about in a general sense.

a raiva = anger in general (the feeling of anger)
bare raiva (without article) is also possible, but it tends to sound more like “some anger” or appear in certain fixed expressions.

So:

Quando a raiva aparece…
“When anger appears…” (speaking generally about the emotion)

Using a here is very natural and typical in European Portuguese. The same happens with a tristeza (sadness), a alegria (joy), o medo (fear), etc.

What does aparece literally mean here, and could another verb be used?

Aparece is the 3rd person singular of aparecer, which literally means “to appear” or “to show up.”

So Quando a raiva aparece is literally “When anger appears.” It’s a metaphorical use: anger “shows up” inside you.

Possible alternatives (with slightly different nuance) include:

Quando a raiva surge – “when anger arises / emerges”
Quando a raiva se manifesta – “when anger manifests itself”
Quando fico com raiva – “when I get angry” (focus on me, not on anger as an abstract thing)

Aparece here gives the idea that anger just comes up or shows itself, often unexpectedly.

Why is aparece in the present tense? Could it be something like a subjunctive or a different tense?

The present tense (aparece) here expresses a general truth or a habitual situation:

Quando a raiva aparece, é difícil controlar…
= “Whenever anger appears, it is hard to control…”

In Portuguese, as in English, you use the simple present for:

general truths: A água ferve a 100 graus.
repeated patterns: Quando chove, fico em casa.

So there is no need for a subjunctive or a different tense here. Present indicative is the normal choice for describing what usually or generally happens.

What is the structure é difícil controlar…? Is é referring to something specific?

This is an impersonal structure: é + adjective + infinitive, similar to English “it is + adjective + to + verb”.

É difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções.
= “It is hard to control (one’s) words and emotions.”

Here, é does not refer to a specific noun (there’s no concrete “it”). It’s just a dummy subject, like English it in “It is important to study.”

This structure is very common:

É fácil aprender isto. – It’s easy to learn this.
É importante descansar. – It’s important to rest.
É perigoso conduzir assim. – It’s dangerous to drive like that.

Could you also say É difícil controlarmos as palavras e as emoções? What’s the difference?

Yes, you can say:

É difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções.
É difícil controlarmos as palavras e as emoções.

Both are grammatically correct in European Portuguese.

Difference:

controlar (impersonal infinitive) → more general, like English “to control words and emotions” / “controlling words and emotions is hard” (no explicit subject).
controlarmos (personal infinitive, 1st person plural) → explicitly means “for us to control”; it highlights we as the ones who find it difficult.

So:

É difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções.
= Controlling words and emotions (in general) is hard.
É difícil controlarmos as palavras e as emoções.
= It’s hard for us to control our words and emotions.

In many everyday contexts, the simpler controlar is preferred unless you really want to stress us / we.

Why is it as palavras e as emoções instead of just palavras e emoções?

Portuguese often uses the definite article with plural nouns when speaking in a generic, generalising way.

as palavras e as emoções here means something like “our words and our emotions” or “one’s words and emotions” in general.

If you drop the articles (palavras e emoções), it’s not wrong, but it may sound a little less idiomatic in this kind of sentence. The pattern:

controlar as palavras
controlar as emoções

is very natural when you mean “controlling what we say and what we feel.”

You see the same pattern with other nouns:

As redes sociais mudaram o mundo. – Social media have changed the world.
As crianças precisam de dormir. – Children need to sleep.

How do the genders and agreements work in this sentence (a raiva, difícil, as palavras, as emoções)?

Breakdown:

a raiva – feminine singular
- raiva is feminine, so it takes a (feminine singular article).
as palavras – feminine plural
- palavra is feminine → plural as palavras.
as emoções – feminine plural
- emoção is feminine → plural as emoções.

difícil is an adjective that has the same form for masculine and feminine, singular:

é difícil (masc. or fem. singular subject)
plural: são difíceis

But in this sentence, difícil belongs to the impersonal structure é difícil + infinitive, so there’s no agreement with a specific noun; it just stays singular:

É difícil controlar… – It is difficult to control…

Could the word order be Quando aparece a raiva, é difícil…, or would that sound wrong?

Quando aparece a raiva, é difícil… is grammatically possible, but it sounds less natural and more marked.

Normal, neutral order is:

Quando a raiva aparece… (subject a raiva before verb aparece)

Putting a raiva after aparece can:

sound stylistically more literary or poetic
put a bit more emphasis on aparece (the act of appearing)

In everyday spoken European Portuguese, people would very typically say:

Quando a raiva aparece, é difícil controlar…

Could you also say Quando fico com raiva, é difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções? How does that change the meaning?

Yes, that is perfectly correct:

Quando fico com raiva, é difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções.
= “When I get angry, it’s hard to control (my) words and (my) emotions.”

Difference in focus:

Quando a raiva aparece…
Focus on anger as an abstract emotion that “appears.”
Quando fico com raiva…
Focus on me (the speaker) becoming angry.

Both express a similar idea, but the original sentence sounds a bit more general and impersonal; your version is more personal and direct.

Is É difícil controlar… the only option, or can you also say É difícil de controlar…?

In European Portuguese, both are used:

É difícil controlar as palavras e as emoções.
É difícil de controlar as palavras e as emoções.

Differences:

É difícil controlar… is a very common, clean structure and always correct.
É difícil de controlar… is also acceptable, especially in informal speech, and often feels slightly more colloquial or emphatic in some regions.

For a learner, the safest and most standard pattern to internalise is:

é + adjective + infinitive
→ É difícil controlar…
→ É fácil entender…
→ É bom praticar…

Then later you can notice when natives add de in real-life usage.