Learn Hardcore Malay: Ibu saya risau apabila saya pulang lewat. - My mother is worried when I return late.

Saya ibu would literally be “I am a mother” (and even that would usually be Saya ibu only in the right context, or more clearly Saya seorang ibu = “I am a mother”). It does not mean “my mother”.

Can I say saya punya ibu instead of ibu saya? What’s the difference?

You can say saya punya ibu, but it’s not the same usage.

ibu saya = standard, neutral “my mother”.
saya punya ibu = literally “the mother that I have / the mother that belongs to me”.

Saya punya [noun] is common in spoken / informal Malay, especially in some regions:

saya punya buku = my book
dia punya kereta = his/her car

However, for close family members, the default, natural way is [family word] + pronoun:

ibu saya – my mother
bapa saya – my father
adik saya – my younger sibling

So in this sentence, ibu saya is the most natural and standard form.

Is risau a verb (“worries”) or an adjective (“worried”)? Do we need adalah?

Risau can function like both a verb and an adjective, depending on context. There is no “to be” verb (like am/is/are) in Malay, so you don’t need adalah here.

In this sentence:

Ibu saya risau apabila saya pulang lewat.
“My mother worries / is worried when I come home late.”

You can understand risau as:
- verb: “My mother worries …”
- or adjective: “My mother is worried …”

Adding adalah is not natural here. Adalah is used mainly in more formal, written contexts, often before a noun phrase:

Masalah ini adalah satu cabaran besar.
“This problem is a big challenge.”

But with adjectives like risau, you usually don’t put adalah:

Ibu saya risau. – “My mother is worried.” (correct and natural)

What’s the difference between apabila, bila, and ketika? Could I replace apabila here?

All three can translate as “when”, but they differ in formality and nuance.

apabila
- More formal / neutral.
- Common in writing and careful speech.
- Often means “when(ever)” or “at the time that”.
bila
- More informal / conversational.
- Very common in speech.
- Also means “when”, and can be used for questions:
  - Bila kamu balik? – “When are you coming back?”
ketika
- Slightly literary / formal, often “when / at the time (that)”, especially for background situations:
  - Ketika saya kecil, kami tinggal di kampung.
    “When I was small, we lived in a village.”

In your sentence, all of these are possible:

Ibu saya risau apabila saya pulang lewat.
Ibu saya risau bila saya pulang lewat. (more colloquial)
Ibu saya risau ketika saya pulang lewat. (sounds more like a written or narrative style)

For everyday spoken Malay, bila would be very common. Apabila is a bit more formal/neutral and perfectly correct.

What’s the difference between pulang and balik for “go home / return”? Could I say balik instead?

Yes, you can say balik instead of pulang here.

pulang
- Slightly more formal / standard word.
- Often used in writing or polite speech.
- Means “to return (home)” or “go back”.
balik
- Very common in everyday spoken Malay.
- Also means “to return / go back / go home”.
- Feels more colloquial.

So:

Ibu saya risau apabila saya pulang lewat.
Ibu saya risau bila saya balik lewat. (more typical in casual conversation)

Both are understood; the difference is mainly register (formal vs informal).

Is there a difference between lewat and lambat? Can I say pulang lambat?

Both lewat and lambat relate to the idea of “late / not on time”, but they’re used slightly differently.

lewat
- Often used for being late relative to a usual/expected time.
- Very natural with time-related actions:
  - pulang lewat – come home late
  - tiba lewat – arrive late
lambat
- Can mean “late”, but also “slow”.
- Used in contexts like:
  - datang lambat – come late
  - jalan lambat – walk slowly
  - proses ini lambat – this process is slow

You can say:

Ibu saya risau bila saya balik lambat.

It sounds very natural in casual speech and is probably more common in many dialects than lewat.

Pulang lewat feels a bit more standard/formal; balik lambat feels more colloquial.

Why is it pulang lewat and not lewat pulang? Does word order matter?

Both pulang lewat and lewat pulang are grammatically possible, but they feel slightly different.

pulang lewat
- More common, sounds like a fixed phrase: “come home late”.
lewat pulang
- Emphasises the lateness a bit more: “(being) late to come home”.
- Might be used in certain contexts, but is less idiomatic in this specific sentence.

In practice, Malay tends to phrase it as:

balik lewat or pulang lewat – “come home late”.

So in your sentence, pulang lewat is the most natural-sounding word order.

Can I drop the second saya and just say Ibu saya risau apabila pulang lewat?

Native speakers might say that in very casual speech, and the meaning is still clear from context, but grammatically and stylistically, it’s better to keep the second saya:

Ibu saya risau apabila saya pulang lewat. ✅ (clear and standard)
Ibu saya risau apabila pulang lewat. (understandable, but pronoun is omitted)

Malay can drop pronouns when context is obvious, especially in speech, but for learners and in neutral writing, it’s safer to include the subject:

Dia marah apabila saya balik lewat. – “He/She is angry when I come home late.”

How would this sentence sound in more casual, everyday spoken Malay?

A common colloquial version (especially in Malaysia) might be:

Mak saya risau bila saya balik lambat.

Changes made:

Ibu → Mak (more casual “mum”, like “mom/mum” vs “mother”)
apabila → bila (informal “when”)
pulang → balik (more conversational)
lewat → lambat (very common in speech)

All of these are very natural in informal conversation.

How would I say “My mother is not worried when I come home late”?

You negate risau using tidak (or tak in informal speech):

Ibu saya tidak risau apabila saya pulang lewat.
“My mother is not worried when I come home late.”

Informal spoken version:

Mak saya tak risau bila saya balik lambat.

Structure:

[Subject] + tidak/tak + adjective/verb + (rest of sentence)
- Ibu saya tidak risau … – My mother is not worried …
- Dia tidak marah … – He/She is not angry …