Learn Hardcore Japanese: watasi no titi ha kibisii desu ga, yasasii desu.

If you’re talking about your own father to someone outside your family, you can usually just say 父 (without 私の) because it’s clear you’re talking about your own.
お父さん is more polite/respectful and is used:
- for someone else’s father, or
- when addressing your own father (like “Dad”).

In this example, 私の父 is very clear and textbook‑style: it explicitly says my father.

Why is the particle after 父 written は but pronounced wa, not ha?

The character は is normally read ha, but when it’s used as the topic particle, it’s pronounced wa.

So in 父は:

Spelling: ちち + は
Pronunciation: ちち + わ (chichi wa)

This is just an irregular historical spelling. The same thing happens with:

今日は → きょうは (kyō wa)
私は → わたしは (watashi wa)

What is the function of は in 私の父は?

は is the topic marker. It tells you what the topic of the sentence is—what we are talking about.

In 私の父は厳しいですが、優しいです。:

私の父 = my father
は = as for / speaking of

So the structure is:

私の父は = As for my father, …
厳しいですが、優しいです。 = (he) is strict, but (he) is kind.

The topic 私の父 applies to the whole sentence; that’s why Japanese doesn’t repeat he in the second clause.

I thought が is a subject marker. Why does が mean but here?

Japanese has two different uses of が:

Subject marker が
- Marks the grammatical subject:
  - 犬が好きです。 = The dog is what I like.
Conjunction が (but / although)
- Connects clauses, similar to English but:
  - 厳しいですが、優しいです。
    = (He) is strict, but (he) is kind.

In your sentence, が is the conjunction, not the subject marker. You can recognize it because it comes after です (です＋が), linking two statements.

Why do we need です in 厳しいです and 優しいです? Can’t we just say 厳しいが、優しい?

厳しい and 優しい are い‑adjectives. Grammatically they can end a sentence by themselves:

父は厳しい。
父は優しい。

However:

Adding です makes the sentence polite and a bit softer:
- 厳しいです = (He) is strict (polite).
In polite speech, it’s natural to keep the politeness level consistent across the sentence, so you get:
- 厳しいです　＋　が　＋　優しいです。

If you drop です, the sentence becomes plain / casual:

父は厳しいが、優しい。
This is correct, but sounds less polite and a bit written/formal in tone.

Do we really need です before が? Could we say 厳しいが、優しいです?

You can say 厳しいが、優しいです, and it is grammatically correct. But:

厳しいですが、優しいです。 keeps the whole sentence in polite form consistently.
厳しいが、優しいです。 mixes plain (厳しい) and polite (優しいです) forms. This is possible, but usually you either:
- keep everything polite: 厳しいですが、優しいです。
- or keep everything plain: 厳しいが、優しい。

Textbooks usually teach the fully polite version first.

Could I use けど or でも instead of が? What’s the difference?

Yes, there are natural alternatives:

けど / けれど / けれども
- More conversational than が.
- 父は厳しいけど、優しいです。
- Politeness: が is a bit more formal / written; けど sounds more casual.
でも
- Works more like sentence‑initial but:
- 父は厳しいです。でも、優しいです。
- Here you make two sentences, then connect them with でも at the start of the second.

Nuance:

厳しいですが、優しいです。 → polite, slightly formal.
厳しいけど、優しいです。 → polite but more casual / spoken.
厳しいです。でも、優しいです。 → clear contrast in two separate sentences.

Why is there a comma 、 before 優しい? Is it required?

The comma 、 marks a pause and separates clauses, similar to English commas.

In 厳しいですが、優しいです。:

The comma separates clause 1 (厳しいです) from clause 2 (優しいです).

Is it required?

In simple sentences like this, you could omit it:
- 厳しいですが優しいです。 (still correct)
But it’s very common and recommended, especially for learners, to use the comma to make sentences easier to read.

Why doesn’t the Japanese sentence repeat he in the second part, like “he is strict, but he is kind”?

Japanese often omits subjects and topics when they’re obvious from context.

Topic: 私の父は = As for my father, …
Once that topic is set, it automatically applies to both clauses:
- (My father) is strict, but (my father) is kind.

So Japanese simply says:

私の父は厳しいですが、優しいです。
Literally: As for my father, (he) is strict, but (he) is kind.

Repeating a pronoun like 彼は in the second clause would sound unnatural here.

Can I drop 私 and just say 父は厳しいですが、優しいです。?

Yes, and that’s very natural.

父は厳しいですが、優しいです。
→ As for my father, he is strict, but kind.

In everyday conversation:

If it’s clear you’re talking about your own father, 父は… is enough.
私の父は… is more explicit (and a bit textbook‑like) but also fine.

How does the basic sentence pattern work here? What is the structure of 私の父は厳しいです?

The pattern is:

[Topic] は [Description] です

In this case:

Topic: 私の父は = As for my father
Description: 厳しいです = (he) is strict

So structurally:

私の父は (topic)
厳しいです (comment about that topic)

Then you connect another description with が:

厳しいですが、優しいです。
= (He) is strict, but (he) is kind.

What’s the nuance difference between 厳しい and 優しい in this sentence?

厳しい: strict, severe, demanding
- Often used for parents, teachers, coaches who have high standards, enforce rules, scold, etc.
優しい: kind, gentle, tender, caring

Saying 厳しいですが、優しいです often implies:

He may enforce rules or be tough on you,
but he does it out of care and is fundamentally kind.

It’s a common and positive way to describe a parent or teacher.

Could I say 厳しいですが、優しい父です。 instead? What changes?

Yes, that’s also natural:

私の父は厳しいですが、優しい父です。

Difference in nuance:

…優しいです。
- Two separate qualities of him: he is strict, but he is kind.
…優しい父です。
- Emphasizes the kind‑father idea as a single description:
  → He is strict, but (in the end) he’s a kind father.

Both are fine; the original is slightly more basic and neutral.

Is です necessary with い‑adjectives like 厳しい and 優しい?

Grammatically:

い‑adjectives (like 厳しい, 優しい) do not need です to be complete predicates:
- 父は厳しい。 (correct)
- 父は優しい。 (correct)

However:

In polite speech, you typically add です for politeness and softness:
- 父は厳しいです。
- 父は優しいです。

So:

without です → plain style (can feel blunt or casual).
with です → polite style (as in your sentence).

Can ですが also mean something like “although” or “by the way” at the end of a sentence?

Yes, in other contexts ですが can have different uses:

Although / but … (trailing off)
- ちょっとお願いがあるんですが…
- Literally: I have a small favor, but…
- Implies: may I ask you? (softens a request).
Softener / opener
- Used to make statements or questions more polite and indirect.

But in 私の父は厳しいですが、優しいです。, ですが is just the straightforward but / although connecting two full clauses.