todokedenin ha kyuuzyuusyo, sinzyuusyo, tennyuubi, setai, setainusi wo sinseisyo ni kinyuusuru.

A natural reading is:

とどけでにん は きゅうじゅうしょ、しんじゅうしょ、てんにゅうび、せたい、せたいぬし を しんせいしょ に きにゅうする。

Word-by-word:

• 届出人 = とどけでにん
• 旧住所 = きゅうじゅうしょ
• 新住所 = しんじゅうしょ
• 転入日 = てんにゅうび
• 世帯 = せたい
• 世帯主 = せたいぬし
• 申請書 = しんせいしょ
• 記入する = きにゅうする

届出人 is a formal administrative word meaning the person who files the notification or report.

It is made of:

• 届出 = notification, filing, report
• 人 = person

So this is not a casual everyday word. It sounds like something you would see on official forms, city office documents, legal paperwork, and so on.

は marks the topic of the sentence.

So 届出人は means something like:

• As for the declarant, ...
• The person filing the notice ...

It sets up what the sentence is going to say about that person.

Also, even though it is written は, here it is pronounced わ.

Because the entire list is being treated as one direct object of 記入する.

So:

• 旧住所
• 新住所
• 転入日
• 世帯
• 世帯主

are all the things that the person fills in, and the single を marks the whole list.

This is very normal in Japanese. You do not need to put を after every item.

They are compound nouns:

• 旧住所 = old address / former address
• 新住所 = new address

They are built like this:

• 旧 = former, old
• 新 = new
• 住所 = address

Japanese often combines nouns directly like this in formal vocabulary, especially in paperwork and official language. So you do not need の here.

Using 旧の住所 or 新の住所 would sound unnatural.

転入日 means the date of moving into a municipality or district.

In administrative Japanese:

• 転入 = moving into a new municipality
• 日 = day/date

So this is not just any moving date in a casual sense. It usually refers to the official move-in date used for registration.

These are common form words:

• 世帯 = household
• 世帯主 = head of household

On official documents, 世帯 refers to the household unit you belong to, and 世帯主 is the person recognized as the head of that household.

This is administrative vocabulary, so it may feel more formal or specific than everyday English words like family or home.

に marks the place or target where the information is entered.

So 申請書に記入する means:

• fill in on the application form
• enter into the application form

A very common pattern is:

A を B に 記入する
= enter A in/on B

Here:

• A = the information being entered
• B = the document/form it is entered on

書く means to write in a broad, general sense.

記入する is more specific and formal. It means:

• to fill in
• to enter information
• to write something in the proper space on a form or document

So for official paperwork, 記入する is much more natural than 書く.

Compare:

• 名前を書く = write your name
• 申請書に名前を記入する = fill in your name on the application form

Yes, this is normal Japanese word order.

The structure is basically:

Topic + object + place/target + verb

So here:

• 届出人は = as for the declarant
• 旧住所、新住所、転入日、世帯、世帯主を = old address, new address, date of moving in, household, and head of household
• 申請書に = on the application form
• 記入する = fills in / enters

Japanese usually puts the main verb at the end of the sentence.

The commas simply list the items in a clean, document-like way.

This is very common in formal written Japanese, especially on forms, instructions, and official explanations.

You could sometimes use と to mean and, but here commas are more natural because this is a list of form fields. It feels like a checklist of items to be entered.

So the comma style matches the administrative tone of the sentence very well.

Yes. It sounds formal and administrative.

Reasons:

• vocabulary like 届出人, 申請書, and 記入する
• the content is about official registration information
• the plain dictionary form 記入する is often used in written instructions, manuals, and official explanations

So even though it is not using です / ます, it still sounds formal because of the vocabulary and context.