Learn Hardcore Indonesian: Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga. - I do not want to help spread gossip in the family group.

saya: neutral–polite, safe in almost any situation (formal or semi‑informal).
aku: more intimate/informal, used with friends, siblings, close relatives, partners, etc.

In a real family group chat context, Aku tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga would sound very natural if you’re close to those people.

Using saya makes it sound a bit more neutral or polite, which is still fine.

Why is “tidak” used here instead of “bukan”?

Indonesian has two main ways to say “not”:

tidak: negates verbs and adjectives
- tidak mau = do not want
- tidak besar = not big
bukan: negates nouns or equational statements
- Dia bukan dokter. = He/She is not a doctor.
- Itu bukan rumah saya. = That is not my house.

In the sentence Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip…, you’re negating mau (want), which is a verb-like word, so tidak is correct.
Saya bukan mau… would be wrong here.

What exactly does “mau” mean here? Is it like “want” or “will”? Could I use “ingin” instead?

In this sentence, mau mainly means “want”:

Saya tidak mau… = I don’t want to…

In conversational Indonesian, mau can also imply future (“going to”), but with tidak mau, the focus is on lack of desire / refusal, not on future time.

You can replace it with ingin:

Saya tidak ingin ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga.

Differences:

mau: very common, everyday speech, can feel softer and more casual.
ingin: a bit more formal or “neater,” also used in writing.

Both are correct here; mau just feels more natural in ordinary conversation.

Why do we need “ikut”? What does “ikut menyebarkan” add compared to just “menyebarkan gosip”?

Ikut literally means “to join / take part / participate.”

menyebarkan gosip = to spread gossip
ikut menyebarkan gosip = to join in spreading gossip / to participate in spreading gossip

So the nuance is:

Without ikut: you are the one spreading gossip.
With ikut: you are joining others who are already spreading gossip, and you don’t want to take part.

The sentence Saya tidak mau menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga is grammatically correct, but slightly changes the nuance to “I don’t want to spread gossip” (not necessarily emphasizing “joining others”). Ikut highlights the idea of joining the behavior of the group.

Is there a difference between “ikut”, “ikutan”, and “ikut-ikutan” here?

Yes, there are nuance differences:

ikut: basic “to join / to take part”
- Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip.
ikutan (colloquial): similar to ikut, a bit more casual/colloquial
- Aku nggak mau ikutan menyebarin gosip. (very casual)
ikut-ikutan: “to follow others / copy others” often with a somewhat negative sense of mindlessly following the crowd
- Aku nggak mau ikut-ikutan gosip di grup keluarga.
  = I don’t want to just go along with the gossip in the family group.

All three can be used in similar situations, but:

ikut is neutral.
ikutan / ikut-ikutan sound more casual and colloquial.

What is the structure and meaning of “menyebarkan”? How is it different from “menyebar”?

Menyebarkan comes from:

Root: sebar = to scatter, spread
Prefix: meN- → meny- (before s)
Suffix: -kan

So:

menyebar = to spread (intransitive, no direct object needed)
- Gosip itu cepat menyebar. = That gossip spreads quickly.
menyebarkan = to spread something (transitive; takes an object)
- Dia menyebarkan gosip. = He/She spreads gossip.

In ikut menyebarkan gosip:

menyebarkan is used because there’s a clear object: gosip.
It literally means “to spread (something)”, here: spread gossip.

Is “gosip” just an English loanword? Are there other ways to say “gossip” in Indonesian?

Yes, gosip is a loanword from English “gossip,” and it’s very common in modern Indonesian.

Other words:

bergosip = to gossip (verb)
omongan orang = what people say/talk about (can imply gossip)
kabar angin = rumor
desas-desus = rumor, hearsay (more formal/neutral in writing)

You could say, for example:

Saya tidak mau ikut bergosip di grup keluarga.
Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan desas-desus di grup keluarga.

But gosip is perfectly natural and widely used in speech and informal text.

Why is it “di grup keluarga” and not “dalam grup keluarga”? What’s the difference?

Both di and dalam can translate as “in”, but:

di: general preposition for at / in / on, used in most everyday phrases.
dalam: literally “inside,” sometimes more formal or more explicit about being “inside” something.

In casual speech and writing:

di grup keluarga is more natural and common.
dalam grup keluarga is still correct, but sounds a bit more formal or written.

Because a “grup keluarga” here probably means a chat group (e.g. WhatsApp family group), di grup keluarga is exactly what people say in real life.

Does “grup keluarga” specifically mean a family chat group? Why is it “grup keluarga” and not “keluarga grup”?

Literally:

grup = group
keluarga = family

Indonesian noun phrases usually go head noun + modifier:

grup keluarga = family group (a group of family)
rumah sakit = hospital (sick house)
baju kerja = work clothes

So grup keluarga is “group of family (members).”

In modern context, grup keluarga often implies a family chat group, especially a WhatsApp group, unless you specify otherwise.

If you want to be explicit:

grup WhatsApp keluarga = the family WhatsApp group.

Can I change the word order, like “Saya tidak mau menyebarkan gosip ikut di grup keluarga”?

No, that word order would be unnatural or wrong.

The natural structure is:

Subject: Saya
Negation + modal: tidak mau
Verb phrase: ikut menyebarkan (gosip)
Place phrase: di grup keluarga

So the correct patterns are:

Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga.
Saya tidak mau menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga. (without ikut)

Putting ikut after menyebarkan gosip like menyebarkan gosip ikut doesn’t work in Indonesian.

In real conversation, would people really say “Saya tidak mau …”, or would they shorten it, like “Aku nggak mau …”?

In everyday informal speech, people commonly use:

aku instead of saya
nggak/gak/ga instead of tidak

So, very natural informal versions:

Aku nggak mau ikut menyebarin gosip di grup keluarga.
Aku nggak mau ikutan gosip di grup keluarga.

Note the other casual changes:

menyebarkan → menyebarin (spoken/colloquial)
sometimes di → di is kept the same; no change.

But in writing for learners or neutral contexts, Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga is perfect.

Is this sentence polite or rude? How direct does it sound in Indonesian?

Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga is:

polite (uses saya, tidak)
clear and direct, but not rude
sounds like a principled statement: you’re expressing a boundary politely.

It’s an appropriate way to say you don’t want to join in gossip, even to older family members, especially in a text/chat context. If you want to soften it even more, you could add something like:

Maaf, saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga.
= Sorry, I don’t want to join in spreading gossip in the family group.

Could I say “Saya tidak akan menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga” instead of “tidak mau”? What changes in meaning?

Both are correct, but they focus on different things:

tidak mau = do not want (refuse)
- Saya tidak mau ikut menyebarkan gosip…
  = I don’t want to / I refuse to join in spreading gossip.
tidak akan = will not (future intention/promise)
- Saya tidak akan menyebarkan gosip di grup keluarga.
  = I will not spread gossip in the family group.

So:

tidak mau emphasizes your lack of desire / refusal right now.
tidak akan emphasizes a future promise or decision (“I won’t do it”).

In the original sentence, tidak mau fits well because it’s about not wanting to join in with what others are doing.