Learn Hardcore Icelandic: Ég elska þann sem hjálpar mér.

The verb elska (“to love”) takes a direct object in the accusative case. Here, the thing being loved is “that person / the one,” so that word must be in the accusative:

Nominative (subject): sá = that (man / person)
Accusative (object): þann = that (man / person)

Since the person is the object of elska, we need þann, not sá.

What case is þann in, and can I see the full pattern?

Þann is masculine singular accusative of the demonstrative pronoun sá (“that”).

Here is the declension of sá in the singular:

Case	Masculine	Feminine	Neuter
Nom.	sá	sú	það
Acc.	þann	þá	það
Dat.	þeim	þeirri	því
Gen.	þess	þeirrar	þess

In the sentence:

Ég (subject, nominative)
elska (verb)
þann (direct object, accusative)
sem hjálpar mér (relative clause describing þann)

Could I leave out þann and just say Ég elska sem hjálpar mér?

No. Icelandic does not allow sem to stand alone like English “whoever” or “the one who” in this position.

You need some kind of noun or pronoun for sem to refer back to (its “antecedent”), for example:

Ég elska þann sem hjálpar mér. – I love the one who helps me.
Ég elska þann mann sem hjálpar mér. – I love the man who helps me.

Without þann (or a similar word) the sentence is ungrammatical.

What exactly is sem doing here? Is it “who” or “that”?

Sem is a relative pronoun introducing a relative clause (sem hjálpar mér = “who helps me”).

In English, you could translate sem here as:

who → the one *who helps me*
or that → the one *that helps me*

Icelandic sem is very flexible: it can refer to people, things, places, etc., where English might alternate between who, that, or which.

Why is it mér and not mig for “me”?

Because the verb hjálpa (“to help”) in Icelandic takes its object in the dative case, not the accusative.

The forms of the pronoun ég are:

Nominative: ég – I
Accusative: mig – me (as direct object of most verbs)
Dative: mér – me (with certain verbs and prepositions)
Genitive: mín – my / mine (in specific structures)

Since hjálpa requires the dative, you must say:

hjálpa mér = help me
not
hjálpa mig (incorrect)

So sem hjálpar mér literally means “who helps to me,” using the dative.

Why is it hjálpar and not hjálpa? How is hjálpa conjugated?

Hjálpa is the infinitive form (“to help”). In the sentence we need the 3rd person singular present form, because the subject of the relative clause is the one (þann) = “he / she / they (singular).”

Present tense of hjálpa:

ég hjálpa – I help
þú hjálpar – you (sg.) help
hann / hún / það hjálpar – he / she / it helps
við hjálpum – we help
þið hjálpið – you (pl.) help
þeir / þær / þau hjálpa – they help

So with a singular subject (“the one”), we need hjálpar:

þann sem hjálpar mér – the one who helps me

Is the word order sem hjálpar mér fixed, or could it be sem mér hjálpar?

The neutral, everyday word order is:

sem hjálpar mér → “who helps me” (Verb–Object)

You can say sem mér hjálpar, with the dative pronoun before the verb. That is more emphatic or stylistic / literary, for example to stress mér (“me”) or to fit a rhythm:

Ég elska þann sem mér hjálpar. – I love the one who (actually) helps me.

For learners, it is safest and most natural to stick with:

sem hjálpar mér (verb directly after sem).

Is elska used the same way as English “love”, or is it stronger?

Elska is generally stronger and more literal than casual English “love”.

Ég elska þig. – I love you.
Typically very strong (romantic, close family).

For things, activities, or weaker feelings, Icelanders more often use:

líka við – to like
- Mér líkar vel við hann. – I like him.
þykja vænt um – to be fond of, to care about
- Mér þykir vænt um hana. – I am fond of her / I care about her.

So Ég elska þann sem hjálpar mér sounds quite strong and literal: I love the one who helps me, not just “I appreciate” or “I like.”

How would I say “I love those who help me” (plural)?

You make both the pronoun and the verb plural:

Ég elska þá sem hjálpa mér.
= I love those who help me.

Changes:

þann (sg. masc. acc.) → þá (pl. masc. acc.) = those (people)
hjálpar (3rd sg.) → hjálpa (3rd pl.) = help

So:

Singular: Ég elska þann sem hjálpar mér. – I love the one who helps me.
Plural: Ég elska þá sem hjálpa mér. – I love those who help me.

What if I’m talking about a single woman: would the form change?

If you specifically have one woman in mind and want to reflect that grammatically, you can use the feminine singular accusative form þá:

Ég elska þá sem hjálpar mér.

Here þá is feminine singular accusative (“that woman whom…”), and the verb hjálpar stays singular.

However, þá is ambiguous in writing and can also be:

masculine plural accusative (“them [masc.]”), which would normally go with hjálpa (plural verb).

So in isolation, Ég elska þá sem hjálpar mér could look confusing to learners. In real usage, context usually makes clear whether you mean:

feminine singular (“that woman who helps me”) with hjálpar, or
masculine plural (“those [men/mixed] who help me”) with hjálpa.

To avoid ambiguity, many speakers would simply specify:

Ég elska þá konu sem hjálpar mér. – I love the woman who helps me.

Is sem að ever used instead of sem in this kind of sentence?

In standard written Icelandic, you normally just use sem:

Ég elska þann sem hjálpar mér.

You may hear sem að in some colloquial speech, but it is usually considered non‑standard or at least informal and is avoided in careful writing.

So for learning and for correct usage, stick with sem alone.

How do you pronounce Ég elska þann sem hjálpar mér?

A careful, approximate pronunciation (in IPA) is:

[jɛiː ˈɛlska θan sɛm ˈçalp̥ar mjeːr]

In more learner‑friendly terms:

Ég – roughly “yeyg” (a bit like “yei” with a short g)
elska – “EL-ska” (stress on EL)
þann – “thahn” (like English “th” in thing
- ahn)
sem – “sem” (like English “sem” in semiconductor)
hjálpar – “HYAL-par”
- hj is like hy / hy
  - a soft h
- lp pronounced with a little puff of air on the p
mér – “myair” but shorter; the é sounds like “yeh” merged into one syllable

Stress in Icelandic is always on the first syllable of each word: ÉG EL‑ska ÞANN SEM HJÁL‑par MÉR.