Learn Hardcore Dutch: Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten? - Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?

In English we usually say “Would you like to eat with us tonight?” rather than “Do you want…?”. Is Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten? closer to “do you want” or “would you like”?

Literally, Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten? is “Do you want to eat along with us tonight?”

In practice:

It is perfectly normal and friendly in Dutch.
In English, the most natural equivalent is usually “Would you like to eat with us tonight?”, because “Do you want…” can sound a bit direct in English.
Dutch generally uses wil je… / wil jij… where English would often use a polite “would you like…”.

So grammatically it matches “Do you want…?”, but in terms of politeness and everyday use, it’s usually best translated as “Would you like to eat with us tonight?”.

Why is it wil jij and not jij wil at the start of the sentence?

Dutch yes/no questions normally put the finite verb first, then the subject:

Statement: Jij wil vanavond met ons mee-eten.
→ “You want to eat with us tonight.”
Question: Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ “Do you want to eat with us tonight?”

So:

Verb-first word order is the standard pattern for yes/no questions.
This is just like English:
- Statement: You want to come.
- Question: Do you want to come? (verb comes first)

In Dutch, you don’t add do; you simply move the conjugated verb (wil) to the front: Wil jij…?

Why is it wil jij and not wilt jij?

This is a common point of confusion. The rules:

Normal statement with jij:
- Jij wilt komen. → “You want to come.”
In inverted word order (verb before jij/je, like in questions), regular verbs lose the -t:
- Wil jij komen?
- Heb jij tijd? (from Jij hebt tijd.)
- Werk jij morgen? (from Jij werkt morgen.)

So:

Jij wilt… (subject first)
Wil jij…? (verb first → no -t)

That’s why Wil jij…? is correct here, not Wilt jij…?

What is the difference between jij and je here? Could you say Wil je vanavond met ons mee-eten?

Yes, you can definitely say:

Wil je vanavond met ons mee-eten?

The difference:

je = unstressed, neutral, very common in everyday speech.
jij = stressed, used for emphasis on “you”.

Compare:

Wil je vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ neutral: “Would you like to eat with us tonight?”
Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ emphasizes you: “Is it you who would like to eat with us tonight?” or “Do you (in particular) want to eat with us tonight?”

In many contexts, Wil je…? is the default, and Wil jij…? suggests a contrast or emphasis (e.g. Jij vs someone else).

What does mee-eten literally mean, and how is it different from just eten?

eten = to eat
mee is a separable prefix that roughly means “along / with (someone)”, “along (too)”.

So:

mee-eten literally: “to eat along (with others)” → to join someone’s meal.

Difference in meaning:

Wil je vanavond eten?
→ “Do you want to eat tonight?” (very general, not necessarily with us)
Wil je vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ “Do you want to join us for dinner tonight?” (eat along with us)

The mee- part expresses the idea of participating in something that others are doing.

Why is there a hyphen in mee-eten? Is it always written that way?

Mee-eten is a separable verb: mee + eten.

Spelling rules:

In the infinitive form (the dictionary form), it is usually written as one word, mee-eten, with a hyphen because meeeten would have three vowels in a row and be hard to read.
With many separable verbs, you get:
- meedoen (mee + doen)
- meekomen (mee + komen)
- But with eten, because mee and eten meet in ee + e, a hyphen is used: mee-eten.

In sentences:

As an infinitive, it stays together:
- Ik wil vanavond mee-eten.
When the verb is conjugated and moved to the second position, it splits:
- Ik eet vanavond mee. → eten is the finite verb; mee is at the end.

So: dictionary form mee-eten, but in many normal sentences you’ll see eten … mee.

Why is the word order met ons mee-eten and not mee-eten met ons?

Both are possible, but the most natural and common is:

Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?

Structure:

met ons = prepositional phrase, “with us”
mee-eten = infinitive, “to eat along”

In Dutch, it is very normal to put the prepositional phrase before the infinitive in such constructions:

Wil je morgen met mij praten?
Ik probeer met hem samen te werken.

You can say mee-eten met ons, but that sounds more marked and usually places extra emphasis on “with us” at the end, almost like: “Do you want to come and eat, with us?”

Default, neutral word order: met ons mee-eten.

Is met ons actually necessary, since mee-eten already means “eat along (with someone)”?

Grammatically, met ons is not required. You can say:

Wil je vanavond mee-eten?
→ usually understood as “Would you like to eat with us tonight?”

Adding met ons:

Wil je vanavond met ons mee-eten?

This:

Makes it explicit who you are eating along with.
Can sound warmer or clearer, especially if the context is not crystal clear.
Helps learners / non-natives understand, because “mee-eten” on its own can be a bit abstract at first.

Native speakers often omit it when context makes it obvious, but it’s perfectly natural and common to include met ons as in the sentence you’re studying.

How formal or informal is Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten??

It’s informal, but not rude. It fits:

Friends
Family
Classmates
Colleagues you’re on a first‑name basis with

For more formal or polite situations, you would use u instead of jij/je:

Wilt u vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ “Would you like to eat with us tonight?” (polite/formal “you”)

With a group you address as jullie (plural “you”):

Willen jullie vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ “Would you (all) like to eat with us tonight?”

What is the function of vanavond here, and where can it go in the sentence?

Vanavond means “this evening / tonight” and is just a time adverbial.

In this question, some possible positions:

Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten? ✔
→ Very natural; time comes after subject.
Wil jij met ons vanavond mee-eten? ✔
→ Also possible, but less common; sounds a bit heavier.
Wil jij met ons mee-eten vanavond? ✔
→ Possible in speech; can put extra emphasis on vanavond.

The most neutral, standard choice is the original:

Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?

What is the difference between wil jij and something like zou jij willen in terms of politeness?

Both are grammatical, but the tone differs:

Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?
→ Friendly, normal, everyday; slightly more direct.
Zou jij vanavond met ons mee willen eten?
→ More polite / tentative, like English “Would you like to eat with us tonight?”

In practice:

With friends/family: Wil je / Wil jij…? is completely fine and very common.
If you want to sound extra polite or careful, use Zou je / Zou u willen…?

So wil jij is the straightforward, usual way to ask this among people who know each other.

Is mee-eten one verb or two? How does it behave grammatically?

Mee-eten is considered one verb: a separable compound verb.

Grammatically:

In the infinitive (after another verb like wil, kan, ga), it stays together:
- Ik wil mee-eten.
- Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?
When it’s the finite verb in the main clause, it splits:
- Ik eet vanavond met jullie mee.
- Eet jij vanavond met ons mee?

So, it behaves as a single verb for meaning and conjugation, but splits in certain word orders (main clause, finite position).

How would you respond in Dutch if you want to accept or refuse this invitation?

Some natural replies:

Accepting:

Ja, graag!
→ “Yes, gladly!” / “Yes, I’d love to!”
Ja, leuk!
→ “Yes, nice!” (very common, enthusiastic)
Ja, ik eet graag mee.
→ “Yes, I’d like to join (for dinner).”

Refusing politely:

Nee, helaas kan ik niet.
→ “No, unfortunately I can’t.”
Nee, dank je, ik heb al plannen.
→ “No, thank you, I already have plans.”
Nee, het komt vanavond niet zo goed uit.
→ “No, tonight doesn’t really work for me.”

All of these are natural replies to Wil jij vanavond met ons mee-eten?