Learn Hardcore Danish: Må jeg hjælpe Dem med at finde Deres billet?

Dem = formal object form of “you.”
Deres = formal possessive “your.” The corresponding subject form is De. These forms can refer to one person or to several people, depending on context.

Why are Dem and Deres capitalized?

Capital D is the convention for the polite/formal “you” forms (De/Dem/Deres) to distinguish them from the third-person plural forms de/dem/deres (“they/them/their”). You may see lowercase in casual writing, but capitalizing avoids ambiguity and looks more correct/formal.

Do people still use the polite De/Dem/Deres in modern Danish?

Much less than before. In everyday speech most Danes use the informal du/dig/din/dit/dine. The formal set appears in very polite service situations (especially with older customers), official letters, or when you want to sound especially courteous and distant. A more common, informal version of the sentence is: Må jeg hjælpe dig med at finde din billet?

Why use Må instead of Kan?

Må asks for permission: “May I…?” It sounds extra polite in service contexts.
Kan asks about ability/possibility: “Can I…?” It’s also common and perfectly fine. You’ll hear both: Må jeg hjælpe…? and Kan jeg hjælpe…? There’s also the offer-like Skal jeg hjælpe…? (“Shall I help…?” / “Want me to help…?”).

Why does the verb come first (Må jeg …)? What’s the word order rule?

Yes/no questions in Danish put the finite verb first (V1). So: Må (verb) jeg (subject) hjælpe (main verb) …. The corresponding statement would be: Jeg må hjælpe Dem med at finde Deres billet.

Why is it hjælpe Dem med at finde, and not just hjælpe Dem finde?

After hjælpe, Danish uses the construction hjælpe [nogen] med at + infinitive:

Correct: hjælpe Dem med at finde
Incorrect/unnatural: hjælpe Dem finde You can also say hjælpe med + noun (e.g., “hjælpe med opgaven”).

Could I say hjælpe Dem med Deres billet instead?

You can, but it’s less specific. Hjælpe Dem med Deres billet = “help you with your ticket” (in any way). Hjælpe Dem med at finde Deres billet pinpoints the action: helping you locate it.

Why is there no article before billet after Deres?

Possessives in Danish replace the article. So you say:

Deres billet (not “Deres en billet” or “en Deres billet”). Compare:
Indefinite: en billet
Definite: billetten
Possessive: Deres billet

Does Deres change form with gender or number?

No. Deres is invariable. By contrast, the informal singular possessive does change:

din (common gender), dit (neuter), dine (plural). So: din billet, dit kort, dine billetter. But always Deres billet/billetter.

What are the informal and plural “you” forms that contrast with Dem/Deres?

Informal singular: du (subject), dig (object), din/dit/dine (possessive).
Informal plural: I (subject), jer (object), jeres (possessive).
Formal (singular or plural): De/Dem/Deres.

How do I pronounce the tricky parts roughly?

Approximate, non-IPA guide:

Må ≈ “moh” (long o).
hjælpe ≈ “YEL-peh” (the h is silent; initial “hj” sounds like English “y”).
Dem ≈ “dem”.
med at is often reduced in speech, sounding like “meh a”.
finde ≈ “FIN-neh”.
Deres ≈ “DEH-res”.
billet ≈ “bi-LET”. Exact sounds vary by region and speed.

Where does ikke go if I want to negate?

In a neutral yes/no question: Må jeg ikke hjælpe Dem …? (literally “May I not…?”; pragmatically often “Won’t you let me help you?”).
In a statement about permission: Jeg må ikke hjælpe Dem … = “I’m not allowed to help you …”. Placement: the negation ikke follows the finite verb (må) and the subject (jeg) in main clauses.

Can I use for at instead of just at before finde?

Not in this construction. After hjælpe … med, you use at + infinitive: hjælpe Dem med at finde.
For at introduces a purpose clause elsewhere, e.g., Jeg er her for at hjælpe Dem (“I’m here to help you”).

Could I say lede efter instead of finde?

Yes, with a nuance:

finde = “find.”
lede efter = “look/search for.” So: Må jeg hjælpe Dem med at lede efter Deres billet? focuses on the search, not necessarily the outcome.

Is Må jeg Dem hjælpe… possible?

No, that word order sounds archaic or wrong in modern Danish. Keep the object pronoun after the main verb: Må jeg hjælpe Dem ….

How would I say this to a group?

Informal plural: Må jeg hjælpe jer med at finde jeres billetter?
Formal plural (still rare): Må jeg hjælpe Dem med at finde Deres billetter?
Note: Deres works for both one person (formal) and several people (formal).

How does this look in reported speech or the past?

Use the past of må (måtte) and normal subclause order:

Jeg spurgte, om jeg måtte hjælpe Dem med at finde Deres billet. = “I asked if I could (were allowed to) help you find your ticket.”