〜ないでください: Please Don't | Japanese Grammar

To ask someone please to do something, you use 〜てください. To ask them please not to do something, you use its mirror: 〜ないでください. There is one genuine surprise here for English speakers, and it is worth stating first: the negative request is not built on the polite 〜ません. It is built on the plain negative 〜ない, plus で, plus ください. You negate first — casually, with 〜ない — and only then wrap the whole thing in a polite request. Politeness sits on the outside, in ください; the negation happens on the inside.

The build: 〜ない + で + ください

Take the plain negative, add で, then ください:

Verb	Plain negative	Negative request
撮る（とる, to photograph）	撮らない	撮らないでください
触る（さわる, to touch）	触らない	触らないでください
遅れる（おくれる, to be late）	遅れない	遅れないでください
する（to do）	しない	しないでください

ここで写真を撮らないでください。

koko de shashin o toranaide kudasai

Please don't take photographs here.

作品に触らないでください。

sakuhin ni sawaranaide kudasai

Please don't touch the artwork.

明日の会議に遅れないでください。

ashita no kaigi ni okurenaide kudasai

Please don't be late for tomorrow's meeting.

Why not the polite ません? Because ください attaches to a te-form, and the negative te-form is ないで — which is built from the plain ない, never the polite ません. There is simply no such thing as ×撮りませんでください; the ません cannot host what follows.

The で is the "without-doing" で

Here is the insight that makes the whole construction click. The piece 〜ないで, on its own, means "without doing X" — a negative manner form (朝ごはんを食べないで出かけた, "left without eating breakfast"). Add ください and it reads, almost literally, "without doing X, please [do that for me]" — that is, "please refrain from doing X." The negative request and the "without" construction are the same form; what disambiguates them is simply whether ください follows.

何も言わないでください。

nani mo iwanaide kudasai

Please don't say anything.

電気を消さないで寝てしまった。

denki o kesanaide nete shimatta

I fell asleep without turning off the light.

The first sentence has ください, so 言わないで reads as a request ("please [stay] without saying anything"). The second has no ください, so 消さないで is the plain "without" — "without turning off the light." Same ないで, two readings, decided by what comes next. The two faces of ないで, and how they differ from the causal 〜なくて, are drawn out on 〜ないで vs 〜なくて — the key point being that only ないで forms requests; ×食べなくてください is not a request at all.

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Two-step it: negate first, request second. Build the plain 〜ない (触らない), tack on で, then add ください. Never start from the polite ません — the request always rides the plain-negative te-form ないで.

The casual drop: 〜ないで on its own

Just as ください can fall off 〜てください to leave a casual 待って, it can fall off 〜ないでください to leave a bare 〜ないで — a soft, intimate "don't." You hear it constantly among friends, couples, and family, and it carries real warmth, often something close to pleading.

泣かないで。大丈夫だよ。

nakanaide. daijōbu da yo

Don't cry. It's going to be okay.

お願いだから、行かないで。

onegai da kara, ikanaide

Please — I'm begging you — don't go.

無理しないで、ゆっくり休んでね。

muri shinaide, yukkuri yasunde ne

Don't overdo it — rest up, okay?

Because it is casual, aim the bare 〜ないで only at people you are close to. Toward a stranger, keep the full ないでください.

A friendly middle ground is 〜ないでね — the bare casual form softened with the sentence-final ね. It turns a request into a gentle reminder among people who know each other, warmer than a flat ないでください but without the intimacy of a naked ないで. It is what you say to a friend, a colleague you're close to, or a family member you're nudging.

遅れないでね。ずっと待ってるから。

okurenaide ne. zutto matteru kara

Don't be late, okay? I'll be waiting the whole time.

Softening, deferring — and when it's a rule instead

The same request scales up and down in politeness by working the ください end, not the negative. Add ね to gentle it (〜ないでくださいね), or climb the keigo ladder with 〜ないでいただけますか ("could I ask you to refrain…?") for maximum deference.

無理しないでくださいね。体が一番大事ですから。

muri shinaide kudasai ne. karada ga ichiban daiji desu kara

Please don't overdo it — your health matters most.

恐れ入りますが、店内ではタバコを吸わないでいただけますか。

osoreirimasu ga, tennai de wa tabako o suwanaide itadakemasu ka

I'm terribly sorry, but could I ask you not to smoke inside the shop?

Note that the same form 〜ないでください spans a huge emotional range — a stern notice on a sign and a tender plea are grammatically identical, separated only by context:

芝生に入らないでください。

shibafu ni hairanaide kudasai

Please keep off the grass. (a sign)

When the point is not a request but a genuine prohibition — a rule, "you must not" — Japanese switches constructions to 〜てはいけない (see prohibition with 〜てはいけない). 撮らないでください asks you not to take photos; 撮ってはいけません tells you it is forbidden. Choosing between requesting and prohibiting is a decision English blurs under one "don't"; Japanese makes you pick. The full request-versus-prohibition treatment lives on 〜ないでください: negative requests.

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ください following ないで ⇒ a request ("please refrain"). No ください ⇒ the plain "without doing". Same ないで; the presence of ください decides.

Common mistakes

❌ ここで写真を撮りませんでください。

Incorrect — the request rides the plain-negative te-form ないで, never the polite ません.

✅ ここで写真を撮らないでください。

koko de shashin o toranaide kudasai

Please don't take photos here.

❌ ドアを開けなくてください。

Incorrect — なくて is the causal 'not-and-so' form and can't make a request; use ないで.

✅ ドアを開けないでください。

doa o akenaide kudasai

Please don't open the door.

❌ 運転するなら、お酒を飲むないでください。

Incorrect — ないで attaches to the negative stem (飲まない), not the dictionary form 飲む.

✅ 運転するなら、お酒を飲まないでください。

unten suru nara, osake o nomanaide kudasai

If you're going to drive, please don't drink alcohol.

❌ 芝生に入らないでをください。

Incorrect — no particle sits between ないで and ください.

✅ 芝生に入らないでください。

shibafu ni hairanaide kudasai

Please keep off the grass.

Key takeaways

〜ないでください = "please don't do X," built as plain negative + で + ください. Negate first, request second.
It never comes from ません — the request rides the plain-negative te-form ないで. (And ×〜なくてください is impossible; only ないで forms requests.)
The で is the "without-doing" で: 〜ないで alone = "without doing X"; add ください and it means "please refrain." ください is the switch.
Drop ください for the intimate 〜ないで ("don't cry," "don't go"), used with people you're close to.
Soften with ね or 〜ないでいただけますか; for a firm "you must not," switch to 〜てはいけない.

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