Relative pronoun whom (com quem, de quem)

In English, it is common to leave a preposition at the end of a sentence or clause (e.g., "the person I am traveling with"). In Portuguese, the preposition cannot be separated from the pronoun it modifies. It must always come right before the relative pronoun (e.g., "the person with whom I am traveling").

When connecting ideas to specify a person after a preposition, always use the relative pronoun quem (who/whom).

Using "com quem" and "de quem"

To describe someone you are doing an activity with, use com quem (with whom).

He is the boyfriend I am going to travel with.
Ele é o namorado com quem vou viajar.

Many Portuguese verbs require the preposition de (of/from/about). Common examples include gostar de (to like), falar de (to speak about), and cuidar de (to take care of). When these verbs appear in a relative clause describing a person, you must use de quem.

The girl I spoke about is my girlfriend.
A rapariga de quem falei é a minha namorada.
The man the doctor takes care of needs to rest.
O homem de quem a médica cuida precisa de descansar.

Using "a quem" and "em quem"

When an action is directed to someone, such as writing a message or giving something, use a quem (to whom). This acts as the indirect object of the relative clause.

The boss you wrote to is going to support our project.
O chefe a quem escreveste vai apoiar o nosso projeto.
We have to send an invitation to the couple we rented the house to.
Temos de enviar um convite ao casal a quem alugámos a casa.

Similarly, some verbs require the preposition em (in). For example, the verb confiar (to trust) is always followed by em. To say "the friend I trust", you literally say "the friend in whom I trust" (em quem).

to trust
confiar
The friend I trust has my friendship.
O amigo em quem confio tem a minha amizade.