Learn Hardcore Swahili: Kama tungesikiliza ushauri wa bibi, tusingepata ugomvi huo mdogo. - If we had listened to grandmother’s advice, we would not have had that small quarrel.

If we had listened to grandma’s advice, we wouldn’t have gotten into that little quarrel.
Or more loosely: If we’d listened to grandma, we wouldn’t have had that little argument.

The idea is:

The condition is not fulfilled (we did not listen).
The result is unreal / imagined (we would not have had the quarrel).

How is tungesikiliza built, piece by piece?

tungesikiliza breaks down like this:

tu- = we (subject prefix, 1st person plural)
-nge- = conditional / hypothetical marker (often past-unreal or contrary-to-fact)
sikiliza = listen (verb stem)

So tunge-sikiliza literally has the sense of “we would listen / we would have listened” depending on context.
In this sentence, context makes it past unreal: “if we had listened…”

How is tusingepata built, and how does the negative work here?

tusingepata breaks down like this:

tu- = we (subject prefix)
-si- = not (negative marker)
-nge- = conditional / hypothetical marker
pata = get / obtain (verb stem)

So tusingepata means “we would not get / we would not have gotten.”

The order of pieces is: subject – negative – conditional – verb stem
→ tu-si-nge-pata → tusingepata

Is kama (“if”) necessary here, or could you drop it?

With this -nge- conditional pattern, kama is optional in normal speech:

Kama tungesikiliza ushauri wa bibi, tusingepata ugomvi huo mdogo.
Tungesikiliza ushauri wa bibi, tusingepata ugomvi huo mdogo.

Both are correct.
The -nge- already signals a conditional; kama just makes the “if” explicit and often sounds a bit more formal or careful.

Does -nge- always mean a past unreal conditional?

Mostly, -nge- signals a hypothetical or unreal situation. Whether it feels past or more general depends on context.

Often, especially in sentences like this one, it matches English “If X had…, Y would have…” (past unreal).
In some contexts it can be more like “would” in general hypotheticals.

Here, because we are clearly talking about a specific incident (that quarrel), the natural English is “If we had listened…, we wouldn’t have had…”, i.e. past unreal.

What exactly does bibi mean here? Grandma, lady, or something else?

bibi can mean several things in Swahili, depending on context:

grandmother
old lady / elderly woman
madam / Mrs. (as a polite title, especially in some regions)

In ushauri wa bibi within this kind of family/advice context, it will almost always be understood as “grandmother’s advice” or “Grandma’s advice.”

How does ushauri wa bibi work grammatically?

ushauri wa bibi is a possessive/genitive structure:

ushauri = advice (a class 11 u- noun)
wa = of (possessive marker agreeing with class 11 u-)
bibi = grandmother / lady

So literally: “advice of grandmother” → “grandmother’s advice.”

In Swahili:

The thing possessed (ushauri) comes first.
The possessor (bibi) comes after, introduced by the correct possessive marker (wa here).

Why is the object expressed as ushauri wa bibi and not as an object marker on the verb?

You could talk about listening directly to bibi, for example:

Kama tungemsikiliza bibi, …
(tu- = we, -m- = her/him, sikiliza = listen)

But tungesikiliza ushauri wa bibi focuses on her advice rather than just her as a person.

So:

kumsikiliza bibi = to listen to grandma (what she says, in general)
kusikiliza ushauri wa bibi = to listen to grandma’s advice specifically

Both are correct; they slightly differ in focus, not in basic grammar.

What does ugomvi mean, and is it countable?

ugomvi means quarrel, dispute, argument, fight (verbal or minor physical).

It is typically a countable event: ugomvi mmoja = one quarrel, magomvi = quarrels (plural).
Compared to:
- vita = war(s) (often more serious, large-scale)
- mapigano = fights, clashes (often more physical/violent)

In this sentence, with ugomvi huo mdogo, it suggests a small, not very serious quarrel.

Why is it ugomvi huo mdogo and not ugomvi mdogo huo?

Standard word order in Swahili for noun + demonstrative + adjective is:

Noun + Demonstrative + Adjective

So:

ugomvi huo mdogo
= literally “that quarrel small”
= “that small quarrel.”

Here:

ugomvi = noun (class 11)
huo = that (demonstrative for class 11, “that near you / previously mentioned”)
mdogo = small (adjective agreeing with u- class: m-dogo)

You can sometimes change the order for emphasis or style, but ugomvi huo mdogo is the normal, neutral pattern.

How do huo and mdogo agree with ugomvi?

Agreement works by noun class:

ugomvi is an u- noun (class 11).
The demonstrative for “that” in this class is huo.
The adjective -dogo becomes mdogo for u- class nouns.

So you get:

ugomvi huo mdogo
noun (u-) + demonstrative (u- form) + adjective (u- form)

Could this sentence also mean “If we listened to grandma’s advice (in general), we wouldn’t get into small quarrels”?

In context, with -nge- and a specific ugomvi huo mdogo (“that little quarrel”), the most natural reading is one particular past situation:

If we had listened to grandma’s advice, we wouldn’t have gotten into that little quarrel.

To express a general / habitual idea (in general we don’t get quarrels), speakers more often use present or future forms, for example:

Tukimsikiliza bibi, hatutapata ugomvi mdogo mdogo.
If we listen to grandma, we will not get into little quarrels.

So your original sentence is best taken as a specific unreal past conditional, not a broad general rule.