Learn Hardcore Spanish (Latin America): Es importante ser honesto con mi familia. - It is important to be honest with my family.

Es importante ser honesto… = It’s important to be honest… (in general / for me / for people)
English often uses to + verb or -ing here: to be honest / being honest.

If you conjugate ser (soy, eres, somos), you would be making a full clause and normally need que and the subjunctive:

Es importante que yo sea honesto… = It’s important that I be/am honest…

So:

Es importante + infinitive → general idea.
Es importante que + subjunctive → more clearly about a specific person.

Why do we use ser and not estar in this sentence?

Here ser is used because:

We’re talking about a characteristic / quality (being an honest person), not a temporary state.
- ser honesto = to be an honest (truthful) kind of person.
- estar honesto is not natural Spanish.
In the pattern Es + adjetivo + infinitivo, Spanish always uses ser:
- Es difícil ser paciente.
- Es necesario ser puntual.

So Es importante ser honesto… follows this fixed, very common structure.

Why is it honesto and not honesta if I am a woman saying this?

In Es importante ser honesto, the adjective honesto is in the default masculine singular form because:

The structure Es + adjetivo + infinitivo is grammatically impersonal.
There is no explicit noun for honesto to agree with, so Spanish uses the default form (masculine singular) for a general statement.

If you specifically want the adjective to agree with you as a woman, Spanish usually changes the structure:

Es importante que yo sea honesta con mi familia.

In that version, honesta agrees with yo (female speaker).
With the infinitive ser honesto, the masculine singular is just the neutral “dictionary” form, regardless of the speaker’s gender.

Could I say Es importante ser honestos con mi familia instead?

Yes, you’ll hear that, and it’s possible, but the meaning shifts slightly:

Es importante ser honesto con mi familia.
- Very general: “It’s important to be honest with my family.”
- Could refer to me, or to people in general; it’s not very specific.
Es importante ser honestos con mi familia.
- Now honestos is plural and usually implies “we” (the speaker + others):
  “It’s important (for us) to be honest with my family.”

So:

Singular honesto → generic or “I” in a neutral way.
Plural honestos/honestas → suggests a group (“we”) should be honest.

If we’re talking about more than one person (my whole family), why is it mi familia and not mis familias?

In Spanish, la familia is a collective noun:

It refers to a group, but grammatically it is singular.
Just like English says my family is…, Spanish says mi familia es… (not mis familia).

Use:

mi familia = my family (one family unit)
mis familias would mean “my families” (more than one family), which is usually not what you intend.

So con mi familia is correct and normal even though your family has many members.

Why is it con mi familia and not a mi familia?

The preposition con literally means “with” and is used here just like in English:

ser honesto con alguien = to be honest with someone

a is used more for directions or as the “personal a” before direct objects (e.g. llamar a mi familia, ver a mi familia), but for being honest with someone, Spanish uses con, not a:

✅ Soy honesto con mi familia.
❌ Soy honesto a mi familia.

Could I say con la familia instead of con mi familia?

Yes, but there’s a nuance:

con mi familia
- Specifically “with my family” (my own relatives).
- Personal and specific.
con la familia
- Literally “with the family”.
- Could mean:
  - my family, when it’s clear from context; or
  - “the family” as a general unit (for example, in a story where “the family” has already been mentioned).

In most learner contexts, if you mean your relatives, con mi familia is the clearest and most natural.

Is Ser honesto con mi familia es importante also correct, or is the word order wrong?

That word order is correct and natural:

Es importante ser honesto con mi familia.
Ser honesto con mi familia es importante.

Both mean the same thing.

Differences:

Starting with Es importante… is more common in speech and feels a bit more neutral.
Starting with Ser honesto con mi familia… can sound slightly more emphatic on “being honest with my family,” like you’re focusing on that idea first.

Grammatically, both are fine.

What is the grammatical subject of Es importante ser honesto con mi familia?

Grammatically, the subject is the whole infinitive phrase ser honesto con mi familia:

[Ser honesto con mi familia] es importante.

In Spanish school grammar, they often call this a cláusula de infinitivo como sujeto (an infinitive clause functioning as the subject).

When we say Es importante ser honesto…, we usually think of it as an impersonal expression, similar to English “It’s important to…”, where “it” doesn’t refer to anything concrete. But if you rewrite it as:

Ser honesto con mi familia es importante.

you can see clearly that ser honesto con mi familia is working as the subject of es.

What’s the difference between Es importante ser honesto con mi familia and Es importante que sea honesto con mi familia?

Both are correct, but they’re used slightly differently.

Es importante ser honesto con mi familia.
- General idea: being honest (in general) with my family is important.
- Doesn’t clearly say who must be honest; it could be me, people in general, etc.
Es importante que sea honesto con mi familia.
- Requires the subjunctive (sea).
- Usually refers to a specific person, understood from context:
  - Es importante que yo sea honesto…
  - Es importante que él/ella sea honesto/a…
- Focuses more on an obligation or recommendation for that particular person.

If you want to clearly say “It’s important that I be honest with my family,” the more explicit version is:

Es importante que yo sea honesto/honesta con mi familia.

Does honesto in Spanish always mean exactly the same as “honest” in English?

Most of the time, yes, honesto ≈ honest / truthful / upright:

Es una persona muy honesta. = He/She is a very honest person.

Nuances:

honesto can also imply “honorable / decent / morally upright”, not just “doesn’t lie.”
For “speaks openly / frankly,” Spaniards and Latin Americans also often say sincero (sincere):
- Hay que ser sincero con la familia. = You have to be honest/sincere with the family.

So honesto is usually a good translation of English honest, but sometimes sincero may feel more natural depending on context.

Could I say Es muy importante ser honesto con mi familia? Where does muy go?

Yes, that’s perfectly correct. The adverb muy (very) goes before the adjective importante:

Es muy importante ser honesto con mi familia. = It’s very important to be honest with my family.

You cannot put muy before ser here:

❌ Es importante muy ser honesto… (incorrect)

The pattern is: Es (muy) + adjetivo + infinitivo
Examples:

Es muy difícil aprender chino.
Es bastante fácil entender esto.

If I want to emphasize that I personally must be honest, should I add yo somewhere?

There are two common ways:

Keep the infinitive, but add context:
- Para mí, es importante ser honesto con mi familia.
  For me, it’s important to be honest with my family.
Use que + subjunctive and add yo:
- Es importante que yo sea honesto/honesta con mi familia.

In Spanish, subject pronouns like yo are usually optional, but adding yo gives extra emphasis:

Es importante que sea honesto… (could be “I”, “he”, “she” depending on context)
Es importante que yo sea honesto… (clearly “I”, with emphasis on me)