Learn Hardcore Spanish (Latin America): Si mi amiga está muy nerviosa, le recuerdo que hay que respirar lento y pensar en lo que sí puede controlar. - If my friend is very nervous, I remind her that you have to breathe slowly and think about what she can control.

“Le recuerdo que…” literally means “I remind her that…”
- le = to her (indirect object pronoun)
- recuerdo = I remind
We use “le” (indirect) because we are reminding something to someone.
“la recuerdo” would mean “I remember her” (direct object: I remember her), which is a different meaning.

So “le recuerdo que…” = I remind her that…, and that’s the structure we need here.

Why is it “está muy nerviosa” and not “es muy nerviosa”?

Spanish uses “estar” for temporary states and “ser” for more permanent characteristics.

“Está muy nerviosa” = she is very nervous right now / in this situation.
“Es muy nerviosa” = she is a nervous person in general, as a personality trait.

In this sentence, the idea is about how she feels in a specific moment, so “está” is the natural choice.

What exactly does “hay que” mean, and why is it used here?

“Hay que + infinitive” is an impersonal expression meaning something like:

“one must…”
“it is necessary to…”
“you have to…” (general you)

It does not say who specifically has to do the action; it talks about what people in general should do.

So “hay que respirar lento y pensar…” is like saying “you have to / one should breathe slowly and think…” in a general sense, not only this one friend.

Why are “respirar” and “pensar” in the infinitive form?

After “hay que”, Spanish always uses a bare infinitive:

hay que + respirar
hay que + pensar

The infinitive here functions like English “to breathe” and “to think” in structures like “you have to breathe” or “you must think.”

So the pattern is fixed: “hay que + infinitive”, never a conjugated verb immediately after “hay que.”

Why is it “respirar lento” instead of “respirar lentamente”?

In everyday Spanish (especially in Latin America), it’s very common to use an adjective as an adverb after verbs:

respirar lento ≈ respirar lentamente = to breathe slowly
hablar rápido ≈ hablar rápidamente = to speak quickly

Both “lento” and “lentamente” are grammatically acceptable, but “respirar lento” sounds more natural and colloquial in modern spoken Spanish.

Why is it “pensar en” and not “pensar sobre” or “pensar de”?

With the meaning “to think about something,” Spanish normally uses “pensar en”:

pensar en algo / alguien = to think about something / someone

“Pensar sobre” is more like “to think about (a topic) in an analytical way”, often in formal or written contexts (e.g. pensar sobre la política).
“Pensar de” is used mainly in “¿Qué piensas de…?” = What do you think of…? (asking for an opinion).

Here we want “think about what she can control”, so “pensar en lo que…” is the natural structure.

What does “lo que” mean in “pensar en lo que sí puede controlar”?

“Lo que” is a very common combination:

lo = a neuter pronoun (refers to an idea, thing, or situation, not masculine/feminine)
que = that / which

Together, “lo que” means “what / that which”:

pensar en lo que puede controlar = to think about what she can control
literally: “to think about that which she can control.”

So “lo que” packages an unspecified “thing” or “things” into one expression.

What is the purpose of “sí” in “lo que sí puede controlar”? Is it reflexive like “sí misma”?

Here “sí” is not reflexive. It is an adverb of emphasis, similar to “indeed / actually / really / does” in English.

lo que puede controlar = what she can control
lo que sí puede controlar = what she does have the power to control / what she can in fact control

The “sí” contrasts with what she cannot control.
It adds emphasis, like saying: “think about what she *can control (as opposed to what she can’t).”*

Who is the subject of “puede” in “lo que sí puede controlar”, and why isn’t it written?

The subject of “puede” is “ella” (she), referring back to “mi amiga.”

In Spanish, the subject pronoun is often omitted because the verb ending already shows the subject:

puede = he/she/it can, you (usted) can

From context (mi amiga and le recuerdo), it’s clear that “she” is the one who can control those things.
So Spanish naturally drops “ella”: “lo que sí puede controlar” instead of “lo que ella sí puede controlar.”

Could you say “le recuerdo respirar lento” instead of “le recuerdo que hay que respirar lento”?

That structure is not natural in Spanish.
With “recordar” in the sense of “to remind someone to do something,” you normally use:

recordar(le) que + clause
- Le recuerdo que tiene que respirar lento.
- Le recuerdo que hay que respirar lento.

Using “recordar + infinitive” is unusual or sounds wrong in this context.
So it’s better to keep “le recuerdo que…” followed by a full idea (a clause), as in the original sentence.

Why is “mi amiga” the subject here, when there is also “le”?

In “Si mi amiga está muy nerviosa, le recuerdo…”:

mi amiga = the subject of “está” (she is nervous)
le = indirect object pronoun of “recuerdo”, meaning to her

The structure is:

Si mi amiga está muy nerviosa = If my friend is very nervous (she = subject)
le recuerdo… = I remind her… (I = subject, her = indirect object)

So “mi amiga” is not the object of “recordar”; “le” is. “Mi amiga” belongs to the if-clause as the subject of “está.”

Why does the sentence use “Si mi amiga está muy nerviosa” (present indicative) and not something like “si mi amiga estuviera muy nerviosa”?

Spanish si-clauses with present indicative talk about real, possible, or habitual situations:

Si mi amiga está muy nerviosa, le recuerdo…
= Whenever / If my friend is very nervous, I remind her… (this is something that really happens or could easily happen).

If you said:

Si mi amiga estuviera muy nerviosa, le recordaría…

you’d be using a hypothetical / less real conditional (imperfect subjunctive + conditional): If my friend were very nervous, I would remind her…

In this context, it’s about a real, repeated strategy the speaker uses, so the present indicative “está” is the natural choice.