Learn Hardcore Russian: Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый.

The verb есть (present form of быть) normally appears only in special cases (emphasis, contrast, existence, etc.), not in simple descriptive sentences about what someone or something is now.

So:

Он врач. – He is a doctor.
Она умная. – She is smart.

No extra word for “is” is needed in these present-tense descriptions.

How do we know this means “My friend is shy, but kind” and not “My shy but kind friend”?

It’s about word order and where the adjectives stand:

Мой застенчивый, но добрый друг
– This normally means “my shy but kind friend”.
The adjectives застенчивый, добрый stand directly before the noun друг, so they are attributes (part of the noun phrase).
Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый
– This normally means “My friend is shy but kind.”
The adjectives are after the noun друг, so they function as a predicate (what the friend is).

In Russian, adjectives before the noun usually describe or classify the noun, while adjectives after the noun usually tell you something about its state or qualities (like an “is …” sentence in English).

Why do the adjectives end in -ый (застенчивый, добрый)?

The endings show gender, number, and case.

друг is masculine singular, nominative case.
So all agreeing words must also be masculine singular nominative.

The basic masculine singular nominative endings for “hard-stem” adjectives are:

-ый or -ой
e.g. новый, добрый, большой

Here:

застенчивый
добрый

both agree with друг:

Мой (masculine, nom. sing.)
друг (masculine, nom. sing.)
застенчивый (masculine, nom. sing.)
добрый (masculine, nom. sing.)

If the noun were feminine, the endings would change, e.g.:

Моя подруга застенчивая, но добрая.
(подруга – feminine, so моя, застенчивая, добрая)

Could we say Мой друг застенчив и добр instead? What’s the difference?

Yes, you can say:

Мой друг застенчив и добр.

Differences:

Form of the adjectives
- застенчивый, добрый – long adjectives (normal descriptive form).
- застенчив, добр – short adjectives.
Nuance
- Long forms (застенчивый, добрый) are neutral, commonly used for general descriptions of a person’s character.
- Short forms (застенчив, добр) are a bit more bookish/formal and can sound more evaluative or emphatic, especially in writing or in somewhat elevated speech.

Both versions are grammatically correct:

Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый. – everyday, neutral.
Мой друг застенчив, но добр. – more concise, stylistically a bit higher, often seen in literature.

Why is there a comma before но?

In Russian, но is a coordinating conjunction meaning “but”. A comma is usually placed before it when it joins two parts of a sentence that could each stand alone or are at least structurally separate:

Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый.

There are two coordinated predicates/qualities:

застенчивый
добрый

They are joined by но, so you put a comma before но. This is similar to English punctuation in “shy, but kind”.

What’s the difference between но and а? Could we say Мой друг застенчивый, а добрый?

You cannot say Мой друг застенчивый, а добрый here; that’s incomplete.

Differences:

но = “but” with a clear sense of contrast/opposition.
Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый.
→ He is shy but (in spite of that) kind.
а = can be “and” / “but” / “whereas”, often showing contrast between two different things, or “on the other hand”.

Correct uses of а:

Он застенчивый, а она общительная.
– He is shy, whereas she is sociable.
Он строгий, а не злой.
– He is strict, but not mean.

In your sentence, we are contrasting two qualities of the same person using “but”, so но is the natural choice.

You could say:

Мой друг застенчивый, а не злой.
– My friend is shy, not mean.

Here а не forms a unit “but not”.

Why is друг in the form друг, not друга or something else?

Друг here is in the nominative case, because it’s the subject of the sentence:

Кто (что) застенчивый, но добрый? – Мой друг.

The pattern:

Nominative singular masculine: друг
Genitive singular: друга
Dative singular: другу, etc.

You would use друга in, for example:

У моего друга есть машина. – My friend has a car.

But in the original sentence, we are simply stating what мой друг is like, so nominative is required:

Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый.

Can друг mean “boyfriend” like “my guy I’m dating”?

Typically:

друг = (male) friend
подруга = (female) friend

By default, друг does not necessarily mean “boyfriend” in the romantic sense. Context matters:

Это мой друг. – This is my (male) friend.
Это мой парень. – This is my boyfriend.
Это моя девушка. – This is my girlfriend.

In Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый, the natural reading is “My (male) friend is shy but kind”, not “my boyfriend,” unless the broader context makes the romantic meaning clear.

How would this sentence change if we were talking about a female friend?

You would change everything that agrees with the noun to feminine:

Masculine: Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый.
Feminine: Моя подруга застенчивая, но добрая.

Changes:

Мой → Моя (feminine)
друг → подруга (feminine noun for a female friend)
застенчивый → застенчивая (feminine adjective)
добрый → добрая (feminine adjective)

What’s the difference between застенчивый and стеснительный? Are they synonyms?

They are close synonyms; both describe someone who is shy. However, there are slight nuances:

застенчивый:
- Very common, neutral.
- Often describes a person who is shy, modest, easily embarrassed in social situations.
стеснительный:
- Also common, very similar.
- Often emphasizes someone who feels awkward or constrained, has difficulty speaking up, asking for things, approaching people.

In many contexts, they are interchangeable:

Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый.
Мой друг стеснительный, но добрый.

Both would be understood as “My friend is shy but kind.”

Can we say Мой друг – застенчивый, но добрый with a dash? Is that correct?

Yes, you can say:

Мой друг – застенчивый, но добрый.

The dash emphasizes the link between the subject and its description, a bit like putting stress on “is”:

My friend *is shy but kind.*

Nuance:

Мой друг застенчивый, но добрый. – neutral, simple statement.
Мой друг – застенчивый, но добрый. – slightly more emphatic or expressive, sometimes stylistic.

Both are grammatically correct. The version without the dash is perfectly standard for everyday speech.

Where would we put “very” in Russian? For example, “My friend is very shy but kind.”

Use очень (very) before the adjective it modifies:

Мой друг очень застенчивый, но добрый.
– My friend is very shy but kind.

You can also modify both adjectives; then repeat очень:

Мой друг очень застенчивый, но очень добрый.
– My friend is very shy, but very kind.