Learn Hardcore Polish: Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości. - I would like them to become my friends in the future.

Chciałabym is the conditional form of chcieć (to want), first person singular, feminine. It literally corresponds to “I would like” rather than “I want”.

Chcę, żeby… = I want … (stronger, more direct)
Chciałabym, żeby… = I would like … (softer, more polite, more hypothetical/wishful)

Using Chciałabym sounds more polite, more tentative, or more “wish-like” than Chcę.

Why is it Chciałabym and not Chciałbym?

The difference is gender:

Chciałabym – 1st person singular, feminine speaker
Chciałbym – 1st person singular, masculine speaker

So:

A woman says: Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali…
A man says: Chciałbym, żeby oni zostali…

Can a man ever say Chciałabym or is that wrong?

In normal speech and writing, a man should not use Chciałabym; it sounds grammatically wrong and very strange.
Polish verbs in the past and conditional forms agree with the speaker’s natural gender, so:

Men: Chciałbym
Women: Chciałabym

Why is there a comma before żeby?

In Polish, clauses introduced by żeby usually form a separate subordinate clause, and a comma normally separates it from the main clause.

Main clause: Chciałabym
Subordinate clause: żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości

So the comma is required by standard punctuation rules.

What does żeby mean here, and is it like “that” or “so that”?

Żeby here works like English “that” / “so that” in constructions with verbs of wanting, wishing, etc.

Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali…
≈ I would like (that) they become… / I’d like them to become…

Common pattern:

Chciałbym, żeby… – I’d like (someone) to…
Chciałabym, żeby… – same, feminine speaker

Do I have to say oni, or can I just say Chciałabym, żeby zostali moimi przyjaciółmi?

You can drop oni, and in fact it’s very common and natural to do so:

Chciałabym, żeby zostali moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości.

Polish often omits subject pronouns when the verb ending makes the subject clear. You’d keep oni only if you want to emphasize they (as opposed to someone else).

Why is it oni and not one?

Oni is used for groups that include at least one male human (masculine personal plural).
One is used for:

All-female groups (in more traditional/strict grammar)
Non‑personal plural nouns (things, animals, abstract ideas, mixed inanimate)

Since przyjaciele (friends) are human and (by default) treated as masculine personal plural, oni is the standard choice.

Why does zostali look like a past tense form if the meaning is “would become”?

In clauses with żeby, Polish uses a form that looks like past tense but actually functions like a subjunctive/conditional-like form expressing wishes, goals, or unreal situations.

oni zostali is past tense in a simple sentence
- Wczoraj oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi. – Yesterday they became my friends.
But with żeby:
- Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi. – I would like them to become my friends.

So the “past” form after żeby often corresponds to English “would do / did” in a wish-like sense.

Why is the verb zostać used, not być?

Zostać means “to become / to turn into / to end up as”. It emphasizes a change of state: from not being your friends → to being your friends.

Być moimi przyjaciółmi – to be my friends (state)
zostać moimi przyjaciółmi – to become my friends (change)

The sentence expresses a wish for a future change, so zostać is natural.

Could I say stali się moimi przyjaciółmi instead of zostali moimi przyjaciółmi?

Yes, grammatically you can:

Chciałabym, żeby oni stali się moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości.

Nuance:

zostać – very common, neutral “become”
stać się – also “become,” sometimes a bit more “event-like” or literary

Both are understandable; zostać is probably more straightforward and slightly more common in this context.

Why is it moimi przyjaciółmi and not moje przyjaciele?

Because after zostać (to become), Polish uses the instrumental case for the noun phrase describing what someone becomes.

Pattern:
zostać + [noun in instrumental]

singular: zostać moim przyjacielem – become my (male) friend
plural: zostać moimi przyjaciółmi – become my friends

So:

moimi – instrumental plural form of mój (my)
przyjaciółmi – instrumental plural of przyjaciele

Moje przyjaciele would be nominative plural and is incorrect here.

What’s the difference between moi, moje, and moimi?

All are forms of mój (my), but they change with gender, number, and case.

moi przyjaciele – my friends
- moi: nominative, plural, masculine personal
moje dzieci – my children
- moje: nominative, plural, non‑masculine-personal
z moimi przyjaciółmi – with my friends
- moimi: instrumental, plural

In our sentence we need instrumental plural, so moimi is correct.

Why is the noun przyjaciel changing to przyjaciółmi?

Polish nouns change form (decline) for case and number.

przyjaciel – singular, nominative (a friend)
przyjaciele – plural, nominative (friends)
przyjaciółmi – plural, instrumental (with / as friends)

Because zostać requires the instrumental for the new role or status, we use przyjaciółmi.

What does w przyszłości add? Could I just skip it?

W przyszłości means “in the future”. It clarifies the time frame of the wish.

Without it: Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi.
– I’d like them to become my friends (unspecified time, but obviously future).
With it: … w przyszłości
– Emphasizes that this is about the (perhaps distant) future, not now.

You can omit w przyszłości if the context already makes the time clear.

Is there any difference between w przyszłości and kiedyś here?

Yes, there is a nuance:

w przyszłości – “in the future” (neutral, slightly formal, can be near or far)
kiedyś – “someday / one day” (more vague, often more casual)

Both are possible:

Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi kiedyś. – I’d like them to be my friends someday.
Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości. – more neutral, a bit more formal/standard.

Can I change the word order, for example: Chciałabym, żeby w przyszłości oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi?

Yes. Polish word order is fairly flexible. All of these are grammatical:

Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości.
Chciałabym, żeby zostali oni moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości. (emphasis on oni)
Chciałabym, żeby w przyszłości zostali moimi przyjaciółmi.
Chciałabym, żeby w przyszłości oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi.

The main differences are in emphasis and style. The original version is very natural.

Is Chciałabym, żeby… a common pattern I should memorize?

Yes, it’s extremely common and very useful.
General pattern:

Chciał(a)bym, żeby + [past-like form]
- Chciałabym, żebyś przyszedł wcześniej. – I’d like you to come earlier.
- Chciałbym, żeby to się udało. – I’d like this to work out.

It’s a key way to express polite wishes, preferences, and unreal desires.

Could I use Chciałam, żeby oni zostali… instead? What’s the difference?

You can, but the meaning changes:

Chciałabym, żeby… – “I would like (now) that they become…” – current wish, polite, hypothetical.
Chciałam, żeby… – “I wanted (in the past) them to become…” – past desire.

So Chciałam puts the wanting into the past; Chciałabym is a present wish in a soft, conditional form.

Can I say Chciałabym, aby oni zostali moimi przyjaciółmi w przyszłości instead of żeby?

Yes. Aby is a more formal, slightly more literary equivalent of żeby in many contexts.

Chciałabym, żeby oni zostali… – neutral, everyday.
Chciałabym, aby oni zostali… – a bit more formal/polished.

In spoken, casual Polish, żeby is much more common.