Learn Hardcore Malay: Abang saya menunjukkan cara mengikat tali dengan betul di sekeliling leher. - My older brother shows me how to tie the strap correctly around the neck.

abang = older brother (and also a polite way to address an older male, sometimes even “husband” in context)
saya = I / me, and after a noun it works as a possessive: abang saya = my older brother

In Malay, the normal possessive order is:

[possessed] + [possessor]
- abang saya = my brother
- rumah saya = my house
- kereta dia = his/her car

So you do not say *saya abang for “my brother”; that word order is wrong.

You can also say abang saya instead of a separate pronoun like “he” in English, e.g.:

Abang saya pergi ke sekolah. = My brother went to school / He went to school.

When should I use abang, and how is it different from kakak or adik?

These are kinship terms that also function as everyday address terms.

abang
- literally: older brother
- used:
  - for your own older brother
  - to address an adult/older male politely (like “big brother / sir”)
  - by some wives for their husband (especially in informal speech)
kakak
- literally: older sister
- used for your older sister, or to address an older woman (like “big sister / ma’am” in informal settings)
adik
- younger sibling
- used for your younger brother or sister
- sometimes used to address someone younger than you

In this sentence, Abang saya naturally reads as “my older brother”, unless context makes it clear it’s “my husband” or “that older guy I’m close to,” etc.

What is the difference between tunjuk, menunjuk, and menunjukkan?

All come from the same root tunjuk (show / point), but the affixes change the nuance:

tunjuk
- root form, often used in informal speech
- can mean “show” or “point (at)”
- Boleh tunjuk? = Can (you) show (me)?
menunjuk
- with the prefix meN-
- tends to mean “to point (at something)”
- Dia menunjuk ke arah papan putih. = He pointed at the whiteboard.
menunjukkan
- meN-
  - -kan
- more clearly transitive “to show something (to someone)”
- Dia menunjukkan gambar itu kepada saya. = He showed me the picture.

In your sentence, menunjukkan is appropriate because your brother is showing a method (an object: cara mengikat tali).

If the meaning is “my brother showed me,” where is “me” in the Malay sentence?

It is not explicitly stated; it’s understood from context.

English usually needs an indirect object: “showed me,” “showed him.”
Malay can omit it when it’s obvious who is being shown.

Your sentence:

Abang saya menunjukkan cara mengikat tali…
= My brother showed (someone) the way to tie the rope…

If you want to include “me” explicitly, you can say:

Abang saya menunjukkan kepada saya cara mengikat tali…
= My brother showed me the way to tie the rope…

Using kepada saya (to me) is clear and natural.
You will sometimes hear menunjukkan saya in colloquial speech, but menunjukkan kepada saya is safer and more standard.

Why is it cara mengikat tali, not cara untuk mengikat tali? Are both correct?

Both are possible, but the original is more compact and very natural.

cara mengikat tali
- literally: “way (of) tying the rope”
- structure: cara + [verb in meN- form]
  - cara memasak nasi = how to cook rice
  - cara mengajar murid = way of teaching students
cara untuk mengikat tali
- literally: “way in order to tie the rope”
- cara + untuk + [verb] also works, especially when you want to be explicit or a bit more formal.

In everyday usage, cara + meN-verb (without untuk) is very common and fully natural.

Why is the verb mengikat and not just ikat?

The meN- prefix on mengikat turns the root verb ikat (“tie”) into a finite verb (“to tie / tying”).

General pattern:

ikat = tie (root)
mengikat = to tie / tying (used as a verb in sentences)

After cara, you normally use the meN- form:

cara mengikat tali = the way to tie the rope
cara memasak telur = the way to cook eggs

Using just ikat here (cara ikat tali) is very colloquial and can sound “broken” in careful or formal Malay.

Could we say mengikatkan tali instead of mengikat tali? What is the difference?

Yes, mengikatkan tali is possible, but the nuance shifts slightly.

mengikat tali
- “to tie a rope” (basic transitive verb + direct object)
- Dia mengikat tali pada tiang. = He tied a rope to the pole.
mengikatkan tali (pada sesuatu)
- the suffix -kan can highlight what the rope is tied to or for:
- Dia mengikatkan tali pada tiang.
  = He tied the rope to the pole (focus on the pole as the target)

In your sentence, cara mengikat tali di sekeliling leher is perfectly natural and doesn’t need -kan. If you said cara mengikatkan tali di sekeliling leher, it would still be understandable, but mengikat tali is simpler and more typical here.

What does dengan betul mean exactly, and do I always need dengan before betul?

betul = correct / right / true
dengan betul = correctly / properly (as an adverbial phrase)

In the sentence:

mengikat tali dengan betul = tying the rope correctly / in the correct way.

You often use dengan to turn an adjective into an adverb-like phrase:

dengan cepat = quickly
dengan perlahan = slowly
dengan berhati-hati = carefully

You can see betul alone used adverbially in informal speech:

Ikat betul-betul. = Tie it properly.

But dengan betul is standard and clear in a neutral or formal style.

Why is it di sekeliling leher instead of just sekeliling leher or di leher?

Breakdown:

di = at / in / on
sekeliling = around / surrounding
leher = neck

di sekeliling leher literally means “at around the neck”, i.e. “around the neck”.

Patterns:

di sekeliling X = around X (as a prepositional phrase)
- di sekeliling rumah = around the house
- di sekeliling meja = around the table

You might see just sekeliling leher in some contexts, but di sekeliling leher is the more standard, complete prepositional phrase.

Compare:

di leher = on the neck (touching, resting on)
di sekeliling leher = around the neck (encircling it)

So di sekeliling leher matches the idea of something going all the way around the neck.

Does di sekeliling leher mean this is about a necktie, or could it sound like something dangerous (like a noose)?

By itself, tali is a generic “rope / string / cord”. It doesn’t specifically mean “necktie.” So:

mengikat tali di sekeliling leher can indeed sound like tying a rope around the neck (which, without context, could sound dangerous).

If you want to clearly mean a necktie, Malay usually says:

tali leher = literally “neck rope,” but this is the set phrase for necktie / tie

So a clearer, safer sentence for “how to tie a necktie” would be:

Abang saya menunjukkan cara mengikat tali leher dengan betul.
= My older brother showed (me) the correct way to tie a necktie.

No need for di sekeliling leher then, because tali leher already implies it’s worn around the neck.

How does Malay show tense here? How do I know if it means “showed” or “is showing”?

Malay verbs do not change form for tense.
Menunjukkan can mean:

showed (past)
is showing (present continuous)
shows (habitual)
will show (future), depending on context.

To specify time, you add time words or particles, for example:

Past:
- tadi (earlier)
- semalam (yesterday)
- kelmarin (the day before yesterday)
  → Tadi, abang saya menunjukkan cara mengikat tali…
  = Earlier, my brother showed me…
Future:
- akan (will)
- nanti / kemudian (later)
  → Nanti abang saya akan menunjukkan cara mengikat tali…
  = Later, my brother will show (me)…

Without such markers, you infer the tense from context.

Could I say saya punya abang instead of abang saya? Is there a difference?

You can hear saya punya abang in colloquial speech, but:

abang saya is the normal, simple, and more standard way to say “my brother.”
saya punya abang literally: “I have a brother” / “the brother that I have.”
It sounds more like you’re emphasizing possession or introducing the fact you have a brother.

For this sentence, Abang saya menunjukkan… is the most natural choice.
Saya punya abang menunjukkan… would sound awkward and marked in standard Malay.

Is the overall word order fixed, or can I move parts around, like putting dengan betul earlier?

Malay word order is fairly flexible, but some positions are more natural.

Your original:

Abang saya menunjukkan cara mengikat tali dengan betul di sekeliling leher.

You could adjust it slightly, for example:

Abang saya menunjukkan cara mengikat tali di sekeliling leher dengan betul.

Both are grammatically acceptable. The main guidelines:

Subject (Abang saya) usually comes first.
Verb (menunjukkan) follows.
The object phrase (cara mengikat tali …) comes after the verb.
Adverbial phrases like dengan betul and di sekeliling leher usually come at the end, and their relative order can change the subtle emphasis, but not the core meaning.

In practice, the original word order is very natural and easy to process for native speakers.