Learn Hardcore Japanese: watasi ni totte itiban no soudanaite ha haha desu. - For me, my mother is the best person to consult with.

You could say something like 私は一番の相談相手は母です, but that sounds ungrammatical because you’d have two は-marked topics (私 and 一番の相談相手), which clashes.

私にとって avoids that by making 私 part of a phrase that modifies the whole statement:

私にとって = as for me / for me personally
一番の相談相手は母です = the number-one person to consult is my mother

So the structure is:

(私にとって) [一番の相談相手]は [母です]

This keeps 一番の相談相手 as the main topic (with は) and 私 inside a prepositional-like phrase (にとって) that adds your viewpoint.

What’s the nuance of 一番の相談相手? Why is 一番 followed by の?

一番 means “number one / best / most”. When you put の after it, you turn it into a modifier that directly describes a noun:

一番の相談相手
literally: the number-one consultation partner
naturally: my best person to talk to / my best confidant

Pattern:

一番の + noun
- 一番の友達 – my best friend
- 一番の味方 – my biggest ally
- 一番の趣味 – my favorite hobby

You can also say:

一番大切な相談相手 – the most important person to consult
一番信頼している相談相手 – the person I trust the most to consult

But 一番の相談相手 is a very natural, compact way to say “best person to talk to (about my problems)”.

What exactly does 相談相手 mean? How is it formed, and what is its nuance?

相談相手 (そうだんあいて) is a compound noun:

相談 – consultation, discussing a problem, asking for advice
相手 – partner, counterpart, the person you interact with

So 相談相手 literally means “the person you consult with”, and in natural English:

someone you talk to about your problems
someone you ask for advice
a confidant

Nuance:

It implies trust and ongoing relationship.
It’s not just a one-time adviser, but someone you habitually talk to for advice.

Examples:

仕事の相談相手 – the person I talk to about work
恋愛の相談相手 – the person I talk to about romantic issues

Why is it 一番の相談相手は母です and not 母が一番の相談相手です? Are both correct?

Both are grammatically correct, but the focus is slightly different:

一番の相談相手は母です。
- Topic: 一番の相談相手 (the best consultation partner)
- New information: 母 (it is my mother)
- Feels like you’re defining who that “best person” is.
母が一番の相談相手です。
- Subject: 母 (my mother)
- Predicate: 一番の相談相手です (is my best person to talk to)
- Focus is more on 母; you’re saying about your mother that she is your best adviser.

In most everyday contexts, both will be understood the same way. The original sentence chooses the first style, treating “best person to consult” as the topic being described.

Why is it just 母 and not 私の母? How do we know it’s “my” mother?

In Japanese, possession like “my” is often omitted when it is obvious from context:

母 – my mother (when I’m talking about my own family)
父 – my father
兄 – my older brother, etc.

You only add 私の when you need to avoid ambiguity or put special emphasis on “my”:

Talking about someone else’s mother:
- 山田さんのお母さん – Mr./Ms. Yamada’s mother
Contrasting different mothers:
- 私の母は大阪出身で、彼の母は東京出身です。

In your sentence, since 私にとって is already there and you’re describing your own viewpoint, it’s naturally interpreted as “my mother.”

Why is 母 used instead of お母さん? Which is more polite?

The choice between 母 and お母さん depends on whose mother you’re talking about and the formality:

母
- Used when talking about your own mother to someone outside the family, especially in more formal or neutral contexts.
- More modest and appropriate in polite speech.
お母さん / お母さま
- Used:
  - to address your own mother directly (“Mom”)
  - to talk about someone else’s mother, as a respectful form
- Using お母さん for your own mother to outsiders can sound a bit childish or too casual.

So:

To a teacher, colleague, etc.:
- 私の母は教師です。 – My mother is a teacher.
Talking to your brother/sister at home:
- お母さんはどこ？ – Where’s Mom?

In the sentence 私にとって一番の相談相手は母です, 母 is the most natural, polite choice.

What is the role of は in 相談相手は母です?

は marks the topic of the sentence—what you’re talking about.

一番の相談相手は…
“As for the best person for consultation…”

Everything after は is information about that topic:

母です – it is my mother.

So the structure is:

(私にとって) 一番の相談相手は → topic
母です → comment about that topic

In English, this roughly corresponds to the “As for X, it is Y” structure. Japanese likes to introduce topics this way.

Is にとって always used with は like Xにとって～は?

Not always, but very often you’ll see にとって followed somewhere by a は marking the main topic.

Common patterns:

XにとってYはZです。
- 私にとってこの仕事は天職です。
  For me, this job is a calling.
Xにとって(は) at the beginning of the sentence:
- 私にとって(は)、母が一番の相談相手です。
  For me, my mother is the best person to consult.

You can also have にとって without は, if the sentence structure doesn’t need a separate topic marker:

これは子どもにとって危険です。
This is dangerous for children.

So にとって itself just marks “from the viewpoint of X”; whether you also use は depends on how you structure the rest of the sentence.

Can にとって be used with things other than 私 (I)? How general is it?

Yes, にとって is very general. You can use it with:

people: 私にとって, 彼にとって, 学生にとって
groups: 日本人にとって, 会社にとって
abstract entities: 社会にとって, 環境にとって

Examples:

学生にとってアルバイトは大切な収入源です。
For students, part-time jobs are an important source of income.
会社にとってお客様は一番大切です。
For a company, customers are the most important.

So 私にとって is just one specific instance.

Could the word order be changed, like 私にとって母は一番の相談相手です? Is that natural?

Yes, 私にとって母は一番の相談相手です is also natural and correct.

Compare:

私にとって一番の相談相手は母です。
- Topic: 一番の相談相手 (best consultation partner)
- Comment: is my mother
- Feels like you’re defining who that “best person” is.
私にとって母は一番の相談相手です。
- Topic: 母 (my mother)
- Comment: is my best consultation partner
- Feels like you’re stating something about your mother.

In everyday speech, both are fine. The original just chooses to spotlight “best consultation partner” as the main topic.

If I want to say this more casually (e.g., to a close friend), how would the sentence change?

To make it more casual, you can:

Drop です → use だ or omit the copula in very casual speech.
Drop 私 if context is clear.
Slightly rephrase.

Some natural casual versions:

私にとって一番の相談相手は母だ。
一番の相談相手はやっぱり母かな。 (My best person to talk to is definitely my mom, I guess.)
相談相手としては、母が一番かな。

With close friends, 母 is still fine; if you feel more “family-ish” you might say お母さん:

一番の相談相手はお母さんかな。
(sounds like you’re talking from a “child’s” perspective; fine in casual conversation)

How would I say “One of my best people to talk to is my mother,” not strictly number one?

You can soften 一番 to avoid the “only number one” feeling:

私にとって大事な相談相手の一人は母です。
One of the important people I consult is my mother.
私にとって特に大切な相談相手が母です。
A particularly important person I talk to is my mother.
私にとって相談相手としてとても頼りになるのは母です。
For me, as someone to consult, my mother is very reliable.

If you want a direct “one of the top” feel:

私にとってトップクラスの相談相手は母です。
(natural, but a bit more stylized)