Learn Hardcore Italian: Lei parla con se stessa in giardino.

It can mean either. Italian Lei is both the third‑person singular feminine pronoun (“she”) and the formal second‑person pronoun (“you”). The phrase con se stessa only tells us the person is female; it doesn’t disambiguate between “she” and “you (formal, to a woman).” Context decides. At the start of a sentence, capitalization doesn’t help because the first word is capitalized anyway.

Why is the verb parla in the third person even if Lei can mean “you (formal)”?

Because formal Lei always takes third‑person singular verb forms. So:

She: Lei parla…
You (formal): Lei parla… Same verb form; context tells you which one.

Could I drop the subject and just say Parla con se stessa in giardino?

Yes—Italian often drops subject pronouns. But doing so makes the sentence even more ambiguous (it could be “she” or “you (formal)”). In real conversations it’s fine because context clarifies; in isolation, keep Lei if you want to signal the subject.

Why not say Lei si parla?

Because parlarsi in Italian typically means “to speak to each other,” and si parla also forms an impersonal expression (“people talk/there is talk”). To mean “talk to herself,” Italian prefers:

parlare con se stessa
parlare da sola
parlare tra sé e sé Using simple reflexive si here would be misleading.

What’s the difference among con se stessa, da sola, and tra sé e sé?

con se stessa: literal “with herself”; correct, slightly formal/bookish in tone.
da sola: very common, everyday way to say “she’s talking to herself.”
tra sé e sé: “to/within herself,” often suggests muttering or thinking out loud.

Should it be sé stessa with an accent?

The stressed reflexive pronoun normally takes an accent (sé) to distinguish it from the conjunction se (“if”). However, many style guides omit the accent when sé is immediately followed by stesso/stessa. So you’ll commonly see se stessa. Both con se stessa and con sé stessa are encountered; leaving it unaccented before stessa is very widely accepted.

Why con se stessa and not a se stessa or di se stessa?

parlare con = speak with/to (interactive flavor). So parlare con se stessa is fine.
parlare a = speak to (direction toward someone). parlare a se stessa also works.
parlare di = speak about. parlare di se stessa means “talk about herself,” not “talk to herself.”

Does stessa have to agree in gender/number?

Yes. It agrees with the person it refers to:

se stesso (masc. sing.)
se stessa (fem. sing.)
se stessi (masc./mixed plural)
se stesse (fem. plural) For formal Lei, choose the form that matches the addressee’s gender: se stesso (man), se stessa (woman).

What’s the difference between se stessa and lei stessa?

se stessa is the stressed reflexive pronoun used when the object refers back to the subject, especially after a preposition: parla con se stessa.
lei stessa means “she herself” (emphatic), typically used as a subject or to emphasize the subject: Lei stessa lo ha detto (“She herself said it”). For “talk to herself,” use sé/se stessa, not lei stessa.

Why in giardino and not nel giardino or al giardino?

in giardino = “in the garden/yard” in a general or habitual sense (very natural for parts of a home: in cucina, in salotto, in giardino).
nel giardino = “in the (specific) garden,” often when that garden has been identified: nel giardino di Maria.
al giardino is unusual for this meaning; Italians say in giardino or, for public places, al parco. You might see al Giardino only in proper names.

Can I move in giardino elsewhere in the sentence?

Yes. Word order is flexible for nuance:

Lei parla con se stessa in giardino (neutral).
In giardino lei parla con se stessa (emphasis on the place).
Lei, in giardino, parla con se stessa (parenthetical place info). All are acceptable.

Why not use a progressive like English “is speaking”? Should it be sta parlando?

Italian simple present covers both “speaks” and “is speaking.” Lei parla can mean either. If you want to stress the ongoing nature right now, you can use the progressive: Lei sta parlando con se stessa in giardino.

If the subject were male or plural, how would it change?

Male singular: Lui parla con se stesso in giardino / Parla da solo in giardino.
Female plural: Loro parlano tra sé e sé in giardino / Parlano da sole in giardino.
Mixed/masculine plural: Loro parlano tra sé e sé / Parlano da soli. Remember to match stesso/stessa/stessi/stesse to gender and number.

Can I say just con sé instead of con se stessa?

Yes, con sé is correct and natural in many contexts. Con se stessa is a bit more explicit/emphatic; con sé is leaner. For this specific meaning, you’ll also hear the very idiomatic parlare da sola.