Disculpas y excusas

You will apologise dozens of times on your first day in Spain. You'll bump into someone on a crowded metro, mispronounce a name, forget a friend's birthday, arrive late to a meeting, ask the wrong waiter for the bill. Spain runs on apologies — short ones, casual ones, throwaway ones — and the apology vocabulary is small, frequent, and absolutely essential. This page is the field guide.

The peninsular apology repertoire is more compact than English. Where English speakers reach for sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I do apologise, my mistake, my bad, pardon me, excuse me, and I beg your pardon, Spanish uses a tight set: perdón, perdona / perdone, disculpa / disculpe, lo siento, and a few intensifiers. Getting the calibration right — light apology for a light offence, heavy apology for a heavy one — is the hard part.

The core inventory

FormLiteralUsed forRegister
perdón"pardon"quick bump apology, getting attentionneutral, all-purpose
perdona"forgive me" (tú)apology or attention-getter to someone you tutearinformal, very common
perdone"forgive me" (usted)apology or attention-getter to someone you address as ustedformal
disculpa"excuse me" (tú)slightly more formal than perdona; attention or apologyneutral
disculpe"excuse me" (usted)formal attention-getter or apologyformal
lo siento"I feel it"genuine regret, sympathy, real apologyneutral
lo siento mucho"I feel it a lot"heavier apology, condolencesneutral
lo siento muchísimo"I feel it enormously"heavy apology or deep condolenceneutral
mis disculpas"my apologies"formal written apologies, emailsformal/written
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The split most learners get wrong: perdón and disculpa/perdona are for small offences and for getting attention; lo siento is for genuine regret. Lo siento after stepping on someone's foot sounds melodramatic; perdón is correct. Perdón at a funeral sounds heartless; lo siento mucho is correct.

Apology vs attention-getter

This is the trap. Perdona, perdone, disculpa, disculpe, and bare perdón are double-duty: they apologise, and they also flag I'm about to address you. Spanish has no separate excuse me word — the apology form covers both functions.

Perdona, ¿sabes dónde está la calle Mayor?

Excuse me, do you know where Calle Mayor is?

Disculpe, ¿este autobús va al centro?

Excuse me (formal), does this bus go to the centre?

Perdón, ¿puedo pasar?

Excuse me, can I get past?

None of those speakers have done anything wrong. They're just opening a conversation with a stranger, and the apology word marks the polite intrusion.

Choosing tú vs usted

The address choice on the apology word tracks the same logic as elsewhere. With strangers your own age, perdona and disculpa (tú forms) are the default in Spain. Perdone and disculpe (usted forms) are for older strangers, formal settings, and customer-service situations.

Perdona, se te ha caído el móvil.

Excuse me, you dropped your phone. (to a peer)

Perdone, señora, ¿quiere que la ayude con las bolsas?

Excuse me, madam, would you like me to help you with the bags?

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Default to perdona (tú) with peers in Spain. Don't reach for perdone (usted) just because the person is a stranger — that's a Latin American instinct. In peninsular Spanish, perdone signals real age difference or a formal context.

Severity scale

Map the offence to the apology:

OffenceApology
Bumped into someone in the metroPerdón.
Need to squeeze past in a queuePerdona, ¿me dejas pasar?
Asked a stranger a questionPerdona, una pregunta...
Arrived ten minutes latePerdón por el retraso. / Siento el retraso.
Forgot to call backPerdona, se me ha pasado llamarte.
Cancelled plans last minuteLo siento muchísimo, al final no puedo ir.
Broke something of theirsLo siento, te lo pago / te lo arreglo.
Hurt someone's feelingsLo siento mucho, no era mi intención.
BereavementLo siento muchísimo. Te acompaño en el sentimiento.

Light offences — perdón / perdona

For minor physical bumps, queue-shuffling, and small mishaps, a bare perdón is enough. No object, no follow-up. Spaniards say it dozens of times a day.

¡Ay, perdón!

Oh, sorry!

Perdona, te he pisado.

Sorry, I stepped on your foot.

Medium offences — perdón por + noun / siento + clause

When you need to apologise for something specific, the patterns are perdón por + noun and siento (que) + clause:

Perdón por el retraso, había un atasco horrible en la M-30.

Sorry for being late, there was a terrible jam on the M-30.

Siento no haberte contestado antes, he tenido un día de locos.

Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I've had a crazy day.

Siento mucho lo de ayer, no debí hablarte así.

I'm very sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.

Note siento que triggers the subjunctive: siento que estés enfadado (I'm sorry you're upset). Siento + infinitive is used when the subjects match: siento llegar tarde (I'm sorry to arrive late).

Heavy offences — lo siento (mucho/muchísimo) + explanation

For real apologies, lo siento is the core. Intensify with mucho or muchísimo if warranted. Pair with a short explanation or repair offer.

Lo siento muchísimo, no me di cuenta de que era hoy tu cumpleaños.

I'm so sorry, I didn't realise it was your birthday today.

Lo siento, en serio. Te invito a cenar para compensarte.

I'm sorry, really. Let me take you out to dinner to make it up to you.

Condolences — a fixed register

Spain has a fixed condolence formula that does not translate well. The standard phrase is te acompaño en el sentimiento or, more formally, le acompaño en el sentimiento.

Lo siento muchísimo, Marta. Te acompaño en el sentimiento.

I'm so sorry, Marta. My condolences (literally: I accompany you in the feeling).

Mi más sentido pésame por la pérdida de tu padre.

My deepest condolences for the loss of your father. (formal/written)

The all-purpose excuse opener: es que...

If you remember one thing from this page, remember this: es que... is the peninsular Spanish excuse machine. It introduces the reason behind almost any apology or refusal, and it sounds much more natural than a bare because.

No puedo ir, es que mañana madrugo.

I can't go, the thing is I have to get up early tomorrow.

Perdona por no contestar, es que estaba en una reunión.

Sorry for not answering, the thing is I was in a meeting.

Es que se me ha hecho tardísimo y no me ha dado tiempo.

The thing is it got really late and I didn't have time.

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Es que... is so frequent in peninsular speech that overusing it is a giveaway sign of a native speaker. Build it into your repertoire from day one — it lubricates every excuse you'll ever make in Spain.

Useful excuse formulas

These collocate with es que and form the standard excuse vocabulary:

FormulaUse
no he podido"I haven't been able to" — generic inability excuse
no me ha dado tiempo"I haven't had time" — most common time excuse
se me ha olvidado"I forgot" (literally: it forgot itself to me — non-blame construction)
se me ha pasado"it slipped my mind"
se me hizo tarde"it got late on me" — running-late excuse
me ha surgido un imprevisto"something unexpected has come up" — formal cancellation
me he liado"I got caught up" — informal, very common in Spain
se me ha hecho bola"it overwhelmed me" — informal

Perdona, no he podido llamarte antes, es que se me ha hecho bola el día.

Sorry I couldn't call you earlier, it's been one of those days.

No te he contestado el mensaje, se me ha pasado totalmente.

I didn't reply to your message, it completely slipped my mind.

The se-construction: blame-deflection grammar

Notice how many of these excuses use the se me construction (se me ha olvidado, se me ha pasado, se me ha hecho tarde). This is Spanish's elegant blame-deflection device: the thing did itself to you, rather than you doing the thing. Se me cayó el vaso (the glass fell on me) is gentler than tiré el vaso (I dropped the glass) — it presents the event as outside your control.

Se me ha roto el móvil.

My phone broke (lit.: the phone broke itself on me).

Se me ha olvidado el cumpleaños de mi madre, soy lo peor.

I forgot my mother's birthday, I'm the worst.

Accepting apologies

The other half of the exchange. Standard peninsular responses:

ResponseUse
No pasa nada."No worries." — most common, all-purpose
Tranquilo / Tranquila."Don't worry."
No te preocupes."Don't worry." — slightly more deliberate
Da igual."It doesn't matter."
No es nada."It's nothing."
No tiene importancia."It's of no importance." (slightly formal)
Vale, vale."OK, OK." — accepts but signals mild irritation
Que no, hombre, que no pasa nada."Honestly, it really doesn't matter." — emphatic reassurance

— Perdona el retraso. — Tranquilo, acabo de llegar yo también.

— Sorry I'm late. — Don't worry, I just got here too.

— Lo siento mucho. — Que no, hombre, no pasa nada, en serio.

— I'm really sorry. — No really, mate, it's fine, honestly.

The doubling — que no, hombre, que no pasa nada — is very Spanish: a triple reassurance with the solidarity marker hombre shows that you really do mean it.

Apologising in writing

Email and message conventions are slightly different. The bare perdona still works in casual messages, but professional emails use heavier formulas:

Lamentamos las molestias ocasionadas.

We regret any inconvenience caused. (formal customer-service)

Disculpa el retraso en la respuesta, he estado fuera de la oficina.

Sorry for the delay in replying, I've been out of the office.

Mis disculpas por el malentendido del otro día.

My apologies for the misunderstanding the other day.

Common mistakes

❌ Lo siento, ¿dónde está la estación?

Using lo siento to get a stranger's attention — sounds melodramatic, like apologising for existing

✅ Perdona, ¿dónde está la estación?

Excuse me, where's the station? — Perdona is the right attention-getter.

❌ Perdón por la muerte de tu padre.

Using perdón for a death — sounds dismissive, as if it's a small bump

✅ Lo siento muchísimo. Te acompaño en el sentimiento.

I'm so sorry. My condolences. — Standard peninsular condolence.

❌ Disculpe, ¿tienes hora?

Mismatched register: disculpe (usted) + tienes (tú) — pick one and stick with it

✅ Perdona, ¿tienes hora?

Excuse me, do you have the time? — Consistent tú with a peer.

❌ Yo olvidé tu cumpleaños.

Direct blame construction — Spanish prefers the se-construction here

✅ Se me olvidó tu cumpleaños.

Your birthday slipped my mind. — More natural and softer in Spanish.

❌ No vine porque mi alarma no sonó.

Bare because — possible but a bit blunt

✅ No vine, es que no me sonó la alarma.

I didn't come — the thing is, my alarm didn't go off. — Es que is the natural opener for excuses.

Key takeaways

  • Perdón / perdona / perdone for light offences and attention-getting; lo siento (mucho) for genuine regret.
  • Default to perdona (tú) with peers in Spain; reserve perdone (usted) for elderly strangers and formal contexts.
  • Lo siento
    • intensifier scales linearly with severity: lo siento, lo siento mucho, lo siento muchísimo.
  • Es que... is the all-purpose excuse opener — use it liberally.
  • The se me construction (se me olvidó, se me hizo tarde) softens responsibility — Spanish's elegant blame-deflection grammar.
  • Te acompaño en el sentimiento is the standard condolence formula.
  • Accept apologies with no pasa nada — the default Spanish response.

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