When two or more people do something to each other — help each other, write to each other, look at each other — Romanian uses the same reflexive clitic se (or dative își) that it uses for "themselves." That overlap creates a genuine ambiguity: Se ajută can mean "they help themselves" or "they help each other." When context isn't enough to settle it, Romanian adds a dedicated reciprocal phrase — unul pe altul ("one another," accusative) or unul altuia ("to one another," dative) — that pins the meaning down to reciprocal. These phrases agree in gender and number with the subject, the way an adjective would. This page shows you how to build them, when you actually need them, and the cheaper alternatives reciproc and între ei.
Why se is ambiguous — and what fixes it
A reciprocal event ("they help each other") and a reflexive event ("they help themselves") are both events where the subject and object overlap. Romanian collapses them into the same clitic se. With many verbs only one reading is sensible — se întâlnesc ("they meet") can only be reciprocal, because you cannot "meet yourself." But with a verb that works both ways, the sentence is genuinely two-ways:
Copiii se spală.
The children wash themselves. / The children wash each other. (se alone is ambiguous)
Se ceartă de dimineață.
They've been arguing (with each other) since morning. (here only the reciprocal reading is natural — you don't argue with yourself)
To force the reciprocal reading on an otherwise ambiguous verb, you append unul pe altul:
Copiii se spală unul pe altul.
The children wash each other. (unul pe altul forces 'each other')
Frații se ajută unul pe altul de când erau mici.
The brothers have helped each other since they were little.
The accusative reciprocal: unul pe altul
The accusative reciprocal is literally "one (unul) — pe (the object marker) — another (altul)." The first element (unul) and the second (altul) both agree in gender and number with the subject. Note the pe: it is the personal-object marker, the same pe that marks human direct objects elsewhere, so the reciprocal phrase carries it the way any animate object would.
| Subject | Reciprocal (accusative) | English |
|---|---|---|
| masc. (two people) | unul pe altul | one another / each other |
| fem. (two people) | una pe alta | one another / each other |
| masc. (three+) | unii pe alții | one another / each other |
| fem. (three+) | unele pe altele | one another / each other |
The singular forms unul pe altul / una pe alta are used even for groups, but strictly they frame the reciprocity as pairwise ("each one … the other"); the plural unii pe alții / unele pe altele frames it as "some … others," used when the group is larger and the pairing is diffuse. In everyday speech the singular unul pe altul is the default for any number.
Surorile se sprijină una pe alta în toate.
The sisters support each other in everything. (feminine subject → una pe alta)
Vecinii se ajută unii pe alții la treburile grele.
The neighbours help one another with the heavy chores. (larger group → unii pe alții)
Cele două colege se completează una pe alta perfect.
The two colleagues complement each other perfectly. (two women → una pe alta)
The dative reciprocal: unul altuia
When the reciprocity is in the dative — the people do something to or for one another — you use unul altuia ("to one another"), with the dative clitic își on the verb. Here there is no pe, because the relationship is dative, not accusative; instead the second element takes the dative form altuia / alteia / altora.
| Subject | Reciprocal (dative) | English |
|---|---|---|
| masc. (two) | unul altuia | to one another |
| fem. (two) | una alteia | to one another |
| masc. (three+) | unii altora | to one another |
| fem. (three+) | unele altora | to one another |
Își scriu unul altuia în fiecare săptămână.
They write to each other every week. (dative reciprocal → unul altuia)
Studenții își împrumută cărți unii altora tot timpul.
The students lend each other books all the time. (larger group, dative → unii altora)
Ne-am promis una alteia că ne sunăm.
We (two women) promised each other we'd call. (1pl, feminine, dative → una alteia)
The cheaper alternatives: reciproc and între ei
You don't always need the full phrase. Two lighter devices do the same disambiguating work.
The adverb reciproc ("mutually, reciprocally") simply tags the verb as reciprocal:
Se respectă reciproc, deși nu sunt prieteni.
They respect each other, though they're not friends. (reciproc tags the reciprocity)
The phrase între ei / între ele ("among themselves / between them") locates the action inside the group, which also yields a reciprocal reading and is very common in speech:
Vorbesc între ei în maghiară.
They speak Hungarian among themselves / to each other.
Fetele își spun totul între ele.
The girls tell each other everything.
These are interchangeable with unul pe altul in many sentences, but they carry slightly different emphases: reciproc is a touch (formal), common in written and administrative Romanian (obligații reciproce); între ei is colloquial and stresses the closed circle of the group; unul pe altul is the neutral, fully explicit choice.
Common Mistakes
English "each other" is a fixed two-word noun phrase that doesn't agree with anything and follows the verb directly. Romanian's reciprocal is two inflected words wrapped around pe, agreeing with the subject — and the clitic se / își must still be there. These are the transfer errors that follow.
Dropping the reflexive clitic because English "each other" already says it:
❌ Copiii ajută unul pe altul.
Incorrect — the clitic se is still required: copiii se ajută unul pe altul.
✅ Copiii se ajută unul pe altul.
The children help each other.
Forgetting the object marker pe in the accusative reciprocal:
❌ Se laudă unul altul.
Incorrect — the accusative reciprocal needs pe: unul pe altul.
✅ Se laudă unul pe altul.
They praise each other.
Failing to agree the reciprocal with the subject's gender:
❌ Cele două surori se ajută unul pe altul.
Incorrect — a feminine subject takes una pe alta, not unul pe altul.
✅ Cele două surori se ajută una pe alta.
The two sisters help each other.
Using the accusative reciprocal where the verb governs a dative:
❌ Își scriu unul pe altul.
Incorrect — a scrie cuiva is dative, so use unul altuia (no pe): își scriu unul altuia.
✅ Își scriu unul altuia.
They write to each other.
Treating se alone as unambiguously reciprocal in a verb that also reads reflexively:
❌ Se critică. (meaning unambiguously 'they criticize each other')
Ambiguous — this can mean 'they criticize themselves'; add unul pe altul for 'each other'.
✅ Se critică unul pe altul.
They criticize each other.
Key Takeaways
- The 3rd-person reflexive se / își is ambiguous between reflexive ("themselves") and reciprocal ("each other"); context often settles it, but the reciprocal phrase forces it.
- The accusative reciprocal is unul pe altul (m.) / una pe alta (f.) / unii pe alții / unele pe altele, with pe and agreement with the subject; the clitic se stays.
- The dative reciprocal is unul altuia (m.) / una alteia (f.) / unii altora / unele altora, with the dative clitic își and no pe.
- Lighter alternatives: the adverb reciproc (slightly formal) and între ei / între ele (colloquial).
- Never drop the reflexive clitic, never drop pe in the accusative phrase, and always agree the reciprocal with the subject's gender and number.
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