A relative clause is a mini-sentence that hangs off a noun to tell you more about it: the man who lives here, the book *(that) I read*. In Norwegian almost all of this work is done by one tiny, invariant word — som — and the clause it introduces follows subordinate word order, which is where most English speakers slip. This page goes deeper than the overview of som as a pronoun: here we look at the syntax of the whole clause — when som is mandatory, when you may delete it, where ikke goes, and how Norwegian leaves prepositions stranded at the end.
som: one word for who, which, and that
English juggles who, whom, which, and that depending on whether the noun is a person or a thing. Norwegian throws all of that out. som is the all-purpose relative connector. It never changes form — no gender, no number, no person/thing distinction.
Mannen som bor her, heter Jonas.
The man who lives here is called Jonas.
Jeg fant en app som faktisk funker.
I found an app that actually works.
Hun har en bror som studerer i Tromsø.
She has a brother who studies in Tromsø.
Notice there is no choice to make. Person or thing? Subject or object? — it does not matter. If you find yourself reaching for a Norwegian word that distinguishes who from which, stop: it is always som.
When you must keep som, and when you may drop it
Here is the single most useful rule on this page:
- som is mandatory when it stands for the subject of the relative clause.
- som is optional when it stands for the object of the relative clause.
When som is the subject, the clause has no other noun to start it, so dropping som would leave the verb dangling with nothing in front of it. That is ungrammatical.
Mannen som kom, var sint.
The man who came was angry.
You cannot say Mannen kom, var sint — that reads as two clashing main clauses. The som is doing essential structural work: it is the subject of kom.
When som is the object, the clause already has its own subject right after, so the connector becomes droppable — exactly as English drops that in the book I read.
Boka som jeg leste, var kjedelig.
The book that I read was boring.
Boka jeg leste, var kjedelig.
The book I read was boring.
Both are correct and both are natural; the version without som is, if anything, slightly more conversational. The mental check is simple: Is there already a subject after the gap? If yes (jeg), som is optional. If the clause needs som itself to be the subject, keep it.
Filmen vi så i går, var bedre enn jeg trodde.
The film we saw yesterday was better than I expected.
Subordinate word order inside the clause — where ikke jumps
This is the part competitors treat as a separate, unrelated rule, but it is the same rule that governs every Norwegian subordinate clause: inside a relative clause, the sentence adverb (especially ikke) comes BEFORE the finite verb. A main clause has V2 order, where almost nothing can sit between subject and verb; a subordinate clause flips that — adverbs like ikke, alltid, aldri, ofte crowd in ahead of the verb.
Compare a main clause and the relative clause built from it:
- Main clause: Jenta kom ikke. (The girl did not come.) — ikke follows the verb.
- Relative clause: jenta *som ikke kom (the girl who did not come) — *ikke precedes the verb.
Jenta som ikke kom, ble syk.
The girl who didn't come got sick.
Det er den eneste kollegaen som aldri klager.
He's the only colleague who never complains.
Folk som ikke liker kaffe, forstår jeg ikke.
People who don't like coffee, I don't understand.
Look at that last example carefully: the relative clause has ikke before the verb (som ikke liker), but the main clause around it has ikke after the verb (forstår jeg ikke). Same word, two positions, one logic — the position depends on clause type, and a relative clause is always subordinate. This is the deep tie-in: relative clauses are not a special case, they are subordinate clauses, so they obey the master ikke-placement rule.
Preposition stranding: the preposition stays at the end
English speakers are taught (wrongly, but persistently) to pull prepositions to the front: the man *with whom I spoke. Norwegian does the opposite, and does it as the only natural option: the preposition is *stranded, left sitting at the end of the clause, exactly where the verb left it.
Mannen som jeg snakket med, var lege.
The man (that) I spoke with was a doctor.
You cannot say mannen med som jeg snakket — med som is not Norwegian. The preposition stays put.
Huset som vi bodde i, er revet nå.
The house we lived in has been torn down now.
Det er en idé som det er verdt å tenke på.
That's an idea that's worth thinking about.
Because the connector here stands for the object of the preposition, som is again droppable: Mannen jeg snakket med is perfectly natural. For the finer points and for the formal alternative (med hvem), see relative clauses with prepositions.
der and hvor for place
When the noun is a place and the relative gap is an "in/at which" adverbial, Norwegian often prefers der or hvor ("where") over som ... i. Both are interchangeable in this use; hvor leans a touch more formal/written.
Byen der jeg bor, er ganske liten.
The town where I live is pretty small.
Det er kafeen hvor vi møttes første gang.
That's the café where we met for the first time.
You could also say byen som jeg bor i with stranding, but der/hvor is smoother and very common in speech.
Restrictive vs non-restrictive: the comma matters
A restrictive relative narrows down which noun you mean — it is essential, so no comma precedes it. A non-restrictive relative just adds extra, non-essential information about an already-identified noun — and it is set off with a comma (and in speech, a slight pause).
Studenter som jukser, stryker.
Students who cheat fail.
That is restrictive: only the cheating students fail, not all students. No comma before som.
Broren min, som bor i Oslo, kommer på besøk.
My brother, who lives in Oslo, is coming to visit.
That is non-restrictive: you already know which brother (min), and the clause just adds a detail. Commas on both sides. Drop the commas and you imply you have several brothers and are picking out the Oslo one — a real change in meaning, just as in English.
Huset, som er over hundre år gammelt, trenger nytt tak.
The house, which is over a hundred years old, needs a new roof.
hvem som, hva som: the subject-relative in embedded questions
A special twist: when an embedded (indirect) question asks about the subject, Norwegian inserts som right after the question word. English never does this.
Jeg vet ikke hvem som ringte.
I don't know who called.
Here hvem is the subject of ringte, so som must follow: hvem som, not hvem. Compare an object question, where there is no som: Jeg vet ikke hvem du så (I don't know who you saw). The rule mirrors the subject/object split from earlier — a subject gap pulls in som. The same happens with hva and hvilken:
Kan du si meg hva som skjedde?
Can you tell me what happened?
See embedded questions for the full pattern.
Common Mistakes
❌ Mannen kom, var sint.
Incorrect — a subject relative needs som; this reads as two clashing clauses.
✅ Mannen som kom, var sint.
The man who came was angry.
Dropping som is only allowed when it is the object. As a subject it is structurally mandatory.
❌ jenta som kom ikke
Incorrect — main-clause order inside a relative clause.
✅ jenta som ikke kom
the girl who didn't come
Inside a relative clause ikke comes before the verb. This is the number-one English-speaker error here.
❌ mannen med som jeg snakket
Incorrect — Norwegian does not front the preposition before som.
✅ mannen som jeg snakket med
the man I spoke with
The preposition is stranded at the end; med som does not exist.
❌ Jeg vet ikke hvem ringte.
Incorrect — a subject question word needs som inserted.
✅ Jeg vet ikke hvem som ringte.
I don't know who called.
When the question word is the subject of the embedded clause, add som: hvem som, hva som.
❌ Broren min som bor i Oslo kommer på besøk.
Incorrect — a non-restrictive clause needs commas.
✅ Broren min, som bor i Oslo, kommer på besøk.
My brother, who lives in Oslo, is coming to visit.
If the noun is already identified, the clause is extra information and must be set off with commas.
Key Takeaways
- som is the one invariant relative connector — no who/which/that distinction.
- Keep som when it is the subject of the clause; you may drop it when it is the object.
- Inside the clause, subordinate word order applies: ikke (and other sentence adverbs) come before the finite verb.
- Prepositions are stranded at the end: som jeg snakket med, never med som.
- Use der/hvor for place; hvem som / hva som when an embedded question word is the subject.
- A comma before the clause makes it non-restrictive (extra info); no comma makes it restrictive (essential).
Now practice Norwegian
Reading grammar gets you part of the way. The exercises are where it sticks — free, no signup needed.
Start learning Norwegian→Related Topics
- Relative Pronouns: som and derA2 — Norwegian collapses English's who/whom/which/that into a single relative word, som — invariant for people and things alike, droppable as an object but never as a subject (boka jeg leste vs mannen som kom).
- Subordinate Clause Word OrderA2 — Inside a subordinate clause Norwegian abandons V2: nothing inverts, the subject stays first, and the sentence adverb — above all ikke — moves to BEFORE the finite verb, the deepest fact in Norwegian word order.
- Relatives with Prepositions: StrandingB2 — When a relative clause involves a preposition, Norwegian leaves it stranded at the end of the clause — huset (som) jeg bor i, mannen jeg snakket med — never fronting it as in formal English 'with whom'.
- Placing ikke and Sentence Adverbs (Main Clause)A2 — In a main clause ikke and adverbs like alltid, aldri, ofte and kanskje sit right after the finite verb — but before a non-finite verb and before the object — so their position is fixed by the verb, not the object, the reverse of English.
- Embedded and Indirect QuestionsB2 — How indirect questions take subordinate (no-inversion) word order, use om for embedded yes/no, and require som when the wh-word is the subject (jeg vet ikke hvem som ringte).
- Advanced Relatives: der, som, hvis, preposition placementC1 — Relative clauses beyond basic som — stranded vs pied-piped prepositions (mannen jeg snakket med vs the stiff med hvem), the formal genitive relative hvis (en forfatter hvis bøker selger), der/dit as relative adverbs of place, the sentential noe som / det som, restrictive vs non-restrictive, and the asymmetry that lets you drop object som but never subject som.