A relative pronoun links a noun to a clause that describes it: "the man who came," "the book that I read." English juggles a whole family of these — who, whom, which, that — and makes you pick the right one. Norwegian sweeps all of them into a single, invariant word: som. People or things, subject or object, masculine or plural — it's always som. The only real subtlety is when you can leave it out, and that rule, pleasingly, works almost exactly like English's.
One word for everything: som
Where English chooses between who (people), which (things), and that (either), Norwegian uses som for all of them. It never changes form.
| English | Norwegian |
|---|---|
| the girl who sings | jenta som synger |
| the house which/that we bought | huset som vi kjøpte |
| the people who live here | folkene som bor her |
Jenta som synger der, er søstera mi.
The girl who's singing there is my sister.
Mannen som kom for sent, måtte stå bakerst.
The man who came late had to stand at the back.
Filmen som vant prisen, var ganske kjedelig.
The film that won the prize was pretty boring.
The drop rule: object yes, subject no
Here is the one rule that matters. Som can be omitted when it is the object of the relative clause — but it must stay when it is the subject. This mirrors English precisely:
- Subject (som does the verb's action) → keep it: mannen *som kom "the man *who came." You can't say "the man came" for "the man who came," and Norwegian can't drop som here either.
- Object (som receives the action) → optional: boka (*som) jeg leste "the book (*that) I read." Just as English happily drops "that," Norwegian drops som.
| Role of som | With som | Dropped | English |
|---|---|---|---|
| Subject | mannen som kom | — (not allowed) | the man who came |
| Object | boka som jeg leste | boka jeg leste | the book (that) I read |
| Object | huset som vi kjøpte | huset vi kjøpte | the house (that) we bought |
Boka jeg leste i ferien, var bedre enn filmen.
The book I read on holiday was better than the film. (object — som dropped)
Huset vi kjøpte i fjor, trenger nytt tak.
The house we bought last year needs a new roof. (object — som dropped)
Folkene som bor over oss, er kjempehyggelige.
The people who live above us are really nice. (subject — som stays)
How do you tell subject from object? Look at what comes right after where som would be. If a verb follows directly (som kom, som bor), som is the subject — keep it. If a new subject follows (som jeg leste, som vi kjøpte), som is the object — you may drop it. The handy English check: if you could say "the book I read" in English, you can drop som; if you'd have to say "the man who came," you must keep som.
Preposition stranding: som … med
When the relative clause has a preposition, Norwegian — like English — usually strands the preposition at the end of the clause, leaving som up front:
Mannen som jeg snakket med, var legen din.
The man I spoke with was your doctor. (preposition 'med' stranded at the end)
Det er det eneste jeg er redd for.
That's the only thing I'm afraid of. (preposition 'for' stranded)
This is the everyday, natural pattern, and another place Norwegian and English line up neatly. Because som here is an object (of the preposition), it can also be dropped: mannen jeg snakket med. The fully detailed treatment of stranded prepositions lives on its own page; for now, just put the preposition at the end and you'll sound native.
der and hvor for place
For relating to a place, Norwegian can use der ("where") instead of som + preposition. Hvor exists too but is a touch more formal/written:
Byen der jeg vokste opp, har forandret seg mye.
The town where I grew up has changed a lot. (der = where)
Vi fant en kafé hvor de serverte ordentlig kaffe.
We found a café where they served proper coffee. (hvor — slightly more formal)
You could also say byen som jeg vokste opp i with a stranded preposition; der/hvor is just a tidier alternative when the relationship is locational.
The formal possessive: hvis
For "whose," Norwegian has hvis — but it is distinctly formal/literary. In speech, people usually rephrase. Recognise it in writing; don't reach for it in conversation:
Forfatteren, hvis bøker er oversatt til tjue språk, bor i Bergen.
The author, whose books are translated into twenty languages, lives in Bergen. (formal/literary)
Naboen som har den store hunden, er på ferie.
The neighbour with the big dog is on holiday. (everyday rephrasing of 'whose' — 'som har …')
The natural spoken strategy is som har … ("who has …") rather than hvis. Save hvis (whose) for formal prose — and don't confuse it with the other hvis, the conjunction "if."
Common Mistakes
Dropping som when it's the subject. This is the cardinal error. A subject relative always needs som.
❌ Mannen kom for sent måtte vente.
Incorrect — subject relative needs som: 'Mannen som kom for sent måtte vente.'
✅ Mannen som kom for sent, måtte vente.
The man who came late had to wait.
Hunting for a who/which/that distinction. Norwegian has none — don't try to translate "which" or "whom" with a special word.
❌ Boka hvilken jeg leste ...
Stilted/wrong — Norwegian just uses som (or drops it): 'Boka (som) jeg leste ...'
✅ Boka jeg leste, var god.
The book I read was good.
Keeping som where English would keep 'that' but pronouncing it like a different word. Som is invariant — it never becomes somme, somen, etc.
❌ Barna somme leker ute ...
Incorrect — som never inflects: 'Barna som leker ute ...'
✅ Barna som leker ute, er naboens.
The children who are playing outside are the neighbour's.
Fronting the preposition instead of stranding it. Pied-piping (med som) sounds wrong in normal Norwegian.
❌ Mannen med som jeg snakket ...
Incorrect — strand the preposition: 'Mannen som jeg snakket med ...'
✅ Mannen som jeg snakket med, var legen.
The man I spoke with was the doctor.
Using hvis (whose) in casual speech. It's formal; rephrase with som har.
❌ Gutten hvis ball forsvant, gråt. (in casual talk)
Too formal for speech — say 'Gutten som mistet ballen, gråt.'
✅ Gutten som mistet ballen, gråt.
The boy who lost his ball cried.
Now practice Norwegian
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Start learning Norwegian→Related Topics
- Relative ClausesB1 — How to build relative clauses with som — when it is mandatory, when you can drop it, why ikke moves in front of the verb, and how preposition stranding works.
- Relatives with Prepositions: StrandingB2 — When a relative clause involves a preposition, Norwegian leaves it stranded at the end of the clause — huset (som) jeg bor i, mannen jeg snakket med — never fronting it as in formal English 'with whom'.
- Subordinating Conjunctions: OverviewB1 — The master list of Norwegian subordinating conjunctions and the one rule they all trigger: subordinate word order, where ikke jumps in front of the verb.