de vs dem and Other Pronoun Case Errors | Norwegian Grammar

Here is a rare bit of good news in Norwegian grammar: the de / dem distinction lines up exactly with English they / them. Where you would say "they" in English, write de; where you would say "them," write dem. That means an attentive English speaker can get this right by direct translation — and, ironically, can be more reliable in writing than many native Norwegians, who increasingly blur the two in casual text. This page gives you the test, the parallel, and the related han / ham split.

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The one-line rule: subject slot → de (they), object slot or after a preposition → dem (them). Translate to English in your head: if "they" fits, it's de; if "them" fits, it's dem. This single substitution test settles almost every case.

The core split: de (subject) vs dem (object)

De is the subject form — the doer of the verb. Dem is the object form — the receiver of the action, or whatever follows a preposition. English does the identical thing with they (subject) and them (object).

✅ De kommer i morgen.

They're coming tomorrow. (de = subject 'they')

✅ Jeg ser dem hver dag.

I see them every day. (dem = object 'them')

The error is using the subject form de where an object dem is needed — usually right after a verb or a preposition, because that is where English "them" lives.

❌ Jeg så de på kino i går.

Incorrect — object of 'så'; should be dem.

✅ Jeg så dem på kino i går.

I saw them at the cinema yesterday.

❌ Jeg ga gaven til de.

Incorrect — after a preposition; should be dem.

✅ Jeg ga gaven til dem.

I gave the present to them.

Run the English test on each: "I saw them" (not "I saw they") → dem. "I gave it to them" (not "to they") → dem. The English instinct that rejects "I saw they" is exactly the instinct you want; just apply it to the Norwegian.

After a preposition, always dem

This is the slot where the error clusters, because in fast speech the boundary is easy to miss. Every preposition — til, for, med, av, om, på, mellom — takes the object form dem.

❌ Dette er en gave fra de.

Incorrect — after 'fra'; should be dem.

✅ Dette er en gave fra dem.

This is a present from them.

❌ Vi snakket om de i går.

Incorrect — after 'om'; should be dem.

✅ Vi snakket om dem i går.

We talked about them yesterday.

✅ Det er noe mellom dem.

There's something between them. (after 'mellom' → dem)

The native-speaker twist: the spoken collapse

Now the genuinely interesting part — and why this page exists even though the rule is "easy." In spoken Norwegian, and increasingly in casual writing (texts, social media), many native speakers pronounce both de and dem the same, often as something like /dem/ or /di/, and some write dem even in the subject slot, or de in both slots. You will see Dem kommer i morgen in a friend's text message. This is nonstandard in formal writing, but it is real, widespread, and not a sign of poor education — it is ordinary spoken-language leveling, like English speakers saying "between you and I."

❌ Dem bor i Oslo nå.

Nonstandard in writing — subject slot needs de: 'De bor i Oslo nå.'

✅ De bor i Oslo nå.

They live in Oslo now. (standard written form)

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Follow the standard in writing: de for the subject, dem for the object. Do not be thrown when natives blur it in speech or texts — that is informal leveling, not the written norm. As a learner, you should keep the distinction; it marks careful, educated written Norwegian.

So the practical advice splits by register: in formal writing (essays, emails, official text) keep de/dem strictly separate; in casual speech you will hear them merge, and you may merge them too without anyone blinking, but never let the merge leak into writing that matters.

The parallel split: han (subject) vs ham/han (object)

The same subject/object logic governs the masculine singular, and it trips up learners in the same spot. Han is the subject ("he"); the object ("him") is ham in conservative Bokmål, though han is now an accepted written object form too and dominates in speech.

❌ Jeg kjenner han godt.

Conservative grammar prefers the object form: 'Jeg kjenner ham godt.'

✅ Jeg kjenner ham godt.

I know him well. (ham = object 'him')

✅ Han ringer meg hver kveld.

He calls me every evening. (han = subject 'he')

Unlike de/dem, the han/ham split is softer: Jeg kjenner han godt is widely accepted in modern Bokmål and is the norm in speech, while ham signals a more careful or formal register. So use the English test to know which slot you're in, then choose: in formal writing prefer ham for the object; in speech, han is perfectly fine for both.

The archaic De/Dem: formal "you"

One more pair to recognize, even though you will rarely produce it. Capitalized De (subject) and Dem (object) were the old polite, formal way to say "you" to a single person — like French vous or German Sie. Modern Norwegian has almost entirely dropped this; everyone, including strangers and royalty in most contexts, is addressed with the ordinary du / deg.

✅ Kan jeg hjelpe Dem? (archaic/formal)

May I help you? — the old polite 'De/Dem', now archaic; today: 'Kan jeg hjelpe deg?'

You may meet capitalized De/Dem in old letters, very formal correspondence, or set institutional phrasing, so recognize it — but in essentially all modern situations, say du. The capital letter is the giveaway that it is the formal "you," not the lowercase de ("they").

Common Mistakes

❌ Foreldrene mine besøkte de i fjor.

Incorrect — object of 'besøkte'; should be dem.

✅ Foreldrene mine besøkte dem i fjor.

My parents visited them last year.

❌ Jeg stoler ikke på de.

Incorrect — after 'på'; should be dem.

✅ Jeg stoler ikke på dem.

I don't trust them.

❌ Dem som vil bli med, kan melde seg nå.

Nonstandard — subject of the relative clause needs de: 'De som vil bli med...'

✅ De som vil bli med, kan melde seg nå.

Those who want to come can sign up now.

❌ Jeg så ham, og så ringte ham meg.

Incorrect — subject of the second clause should be 'han'.

✅ Jeg så ham, og så ringte han meg.

I saw him, and then he called me.

Key Takeaways

de = subject "they", dem = object "them" — the split maps exactly onto English, so the English translation test settles it.
After any preposition (til, fra, om, på, med, mellom), use dem.
Many natives blur de/dem in speech and casual text — that is informal leveling; keep them distinct in formal writing.
The masculine parallel: han (subject) / ham (object), though han as an object is now widely accepted and standard in speech.
Capitalized De/Dem is the archaic formal "you"; modern Norwegian uses du/deg for everyone.

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