You met elkaar ("each other") early on, and at first glance it looks like a simple swap for the English phrase: We zien elkaar morgen — "We'll see each other tomorrow." But elkaar has two corners that trip up even advanced learners. First, it takes a possessive form, elkaars, that English handles with a clumsy "each other's." Second, when elkaar combines with a preposition, the pair sometimes stops meaning "each other" at all and freezes into an idiom: achter elkaar no longer means "behind each other" but "in a row, consecutively," and door elkaar means "mixed up, in a muddle." This page is about those two corners. For the basics of reciprocal verbs — which verbs need elkaar, and how elkaar differs from the reflexive zich — see Reciprocal Verbs and elkaar.
A quick reminder: reflexive vs reciprocal
The core job of elkaar is to say the action runs between the members of a plural subject, each to the other. This is different from the reflexive zich, where each member acts on itself.
Ze wassen zich.
They wash themselves (each person washes their own body). Reflexive — zich points back at the same person.
Ze slaan elkaar.
They hit each other (he hits her, she hits him). Reciprocal — the action crosses between them.
We helpen elkaar met de verhuizing.
We help each other with the move. The classic reciprocal: two parties, mutual action.
There is an older, more formal alternative, elkander (literary/archaic), which you will meet in nineteenth-century novels and the occasional set phrase but should not produce yourself. In modern Dutch, elkaar is the only living form. A regional spoken variant mekaar exists in casual speech (informal), but stick to elkaar in writing.
The possessive: elkaars
Here is the first thing English doesn't prepare you for. When two people own something mutually — they hold each other's hands, they know each other's names — Dutch puts an -s directly on elkaar: elkaars. It works exactly like a possessive determiner, sitting in front of the noun, and it never inflects further.
We kennen elkaars namen nog niet.
We don't know each other's names yet. elkaars = 'each other's', placed before the noun like 'mijn' or 'jouw'.
Ze leenden elkaars kleren als tieners.
They borrowed each other's clothes as teenagers.
De twee landen erkennen elkaars paspoorten.
The two countries recognise each other's passports. (formal) — works for institutions, not just people.
The English construction "each other's" is genuinely awkward — whose apostrophe is it? — and learners often try to route around it in Dutch with something like de namen van elkaar, which sounds wrong. Elkaars is the clean, native solution: one word, an -s, done.
Note the spelling: Dutch does not use an apostrophe before this possessive -s (unlike the genitive on names, Anna's fiets). It is plain elkaars.
Elkaar with prepositions: the live, literal uses
When a verb governs a preposition, elkaar slots in after it just as a noun would. Here the meaning is still transparently "each other," and you build it by keeping the verb's normal preposition.
Ze zijn boos op elkaar.
They're angry at each other. 'boos op' (angry at) keeps its 'op'; elkaar follows it.
We kijken naar elkaar en lachen.
We look at each other and laugh. 'kijken naar' → naar elkaar.
De kinderen zijn lief voor elkaar.
The children are kind to each other. 'lief voor' → voor elkaar.
Ze praten nooit met elkaar.
They never talk to each other. 'praten met' → met elkaar.
Two points of contrast with English here. First, English often drops or changes the preposition ("talk to each other" but Dutch praten *met elkaar, with "with"). You must use the preposition the *Dutch verb demands, not the English one — met for praten, op for boos, naar for kijken. Second, unlike the pronominal construction with things (where you'd fuse a preposition with er/waar — erop, waarmee), elkaar refers to people and stays a separate word after the preposition. You write op elkaar, never eropelkaar. For the fusing that does happen with inanimate referents, see Compound Prepositions and Circumpositions.
The frozen idioms: where elkaar stops meaning "each other"
This is the part worth the price of admission. A handful of preposition + elkaar combinations have lexicalised — they've drifted away from "each other" and now describe arrangement, sequence, or disorder. In these, elkaar no longer points at a reciprocal relationship between people at all; the phrase is a fixed adverb. Learn them as vocabulary, not as transparent grammar.
achter elkaar — in a row, consecutively, back to back
Literally "behind each other," but the everyday meaning is consecutively, without a break. It counts repetitions or stretches of time.
Hij heeft drie dagen achter elkaar gewerkt.
He worked three days in a row. 'achter elkaar' = consecutively, not 'behind each other'.
We hebben de hele serie in één weekend achter elkaar gekeken.
We binged the whole series back to back in one weekend.
Zet de stoelen achter elkaar.
Put the chairs one behind the other / in a line. (Here the literal spatial sense survives — context decides.)
na elkaar — one after another, in succession
Literally "after each other." Close to achter elkaar but foregrounds succession in time/order rather than an unbroken streak. Often na elkaar is paired with kort ("vlak na elkaar" = in quick succession) and with counting events.
De drie bommen ontploften vlak na elkaar.
The three bombs went off in quick succession. (news register)
Twee keer na elkaar verloor ze, en toen won ze.
Twice in a row she lost, and then she won.
Noem de namen één voor één, na elkaar.
Say the names one by one, one after another.
door elkaar — mixed up, in a muddle, jumbled
This is the most idiomatic of the three. Literally "through each other," but it means jumbled together, in disarray, mixed up — physically (a messy pile) or mentally (confused). It is extremely common.
Mijn papieren liggen helemaal door elkaar.
My papers are all jumbled up / in a complete mess.
Haal de twee verhalen niet door elkaar.
Don't mix up the two stories / don't confuse the two.
Door het slechte nieuws was ze helemaal door elkaar.
The bad news left her completely shaken / rattled. (figurative — 'door elkaar' of a person = upset, frazzled.)
Alles ligt door elkaar in de la — ik vind niks.
Everything's jumbled together in the drawer — I can't find anything.
Notice the metaphorical extension in the third example: a person who is door elkaar is emotionally shaken — the "muddle" applies to the mind. The related verb door elkaar halen ("to mix up, to confuse two things") and door elkaar schudden ("to shake up") build on the same frozen phrase.
A note on word order
In a main clause, elkaar behaves like an ordinary object pronoun and sits early in the middle field, before most adverbs and adjuncts; the frozen achter/na/door elkaar adverbials, by contrast, sit later, near the time-manner-place slot, because they function as adverbs of manner.
We hebben elkaar gisteren in de stad gezien.
We saw each other in town yesterday. Reciprocal 'elkaar' sits early, like a normal object.
Hij belde drie keer achter elkaar.
He called three times in a row. Adverbial 'achter elkaar' sits late, in the manner slot.
Common Mistakes
These are the errors English speakers make most reliably with elkaar — and all four come straight from English transfer.
❌ We kennen de namen van elkaar niet.
Unnatural — routing around the possessive. Dutch uses the dedicated possessive form 'elkaars' before the noun.
✅ We kennen elkaars namen niet.
We don't know each other's names.
❌ Ze schreven elkaar's adressen op.
Wrong spelling — no apostrophe on this possessive. It's plain 'elkaars', unlike the genitive on a name (Anna's).
✅ Ze schreven elkaars adressen op.
They wrote down each other's addresses.
❌ Ze praten nooit aan elkaar.
Wrong preposition — 'praten' takes 'met', so it's 'met elkaar'. Don't copy English 'talk TO each other'.
✅ Ze praten nooit met elkaar.
They never talk to each other.
❌ Hij werkte drie dagen achter elkaar — bedoel je 'behind each other'?
Mistranslation — 'achter elkaar' here means 'in a row / consecutively', not a spatial arrangement. The idiom isn't literal.
✅ Hij werkte drie dagen achter elkaar = he worked three days in a row.
The frozen idiom: consecutively, without a break.
❌ Mijn aantekeningen zijn door elkaar van elkaar.
Garbled — 'door elkaar' is already a complete fixed phrase meaning 'jumbled'. Don't add a second reciprocal.
✅ Mijn aantekeningen liggen door elkaar.
My notes are all jumbled up.
Key Takeaways
- elkaar is reciprocal ("each other"); it crosses between the members of a plural subject, unlike the reflexive zich, which points each member back at itself — see Reflexive zich.
- The possessive is elkaars (one word, no apostrophe), placed before the noun like mijn/jouw: elkaars namen.
- With prepositions, use the preposition the Dutch verb demands (praten met, boos op), and keep elkaar a separate word — it refers to people, so it doesn't fuse the way er- does with things.
- achter elkaar (consecutively), na elkaar (in succession) and door elkaar (jumbled / mixed up / shaken) are lexicalised idioms — memorise them whole, not word by word.
Now practice Dutch
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Start learning Dutch→Related Topics
- Reciprocal Verbs with ElkaarB1 — When two or more people act on one another, Dutch uses the reciprocal pronoun elkaar ('each other'): Ze kennen elkaar, We helpen elkaar. Elkaar fuses with prepositions (met elkaar, naar elkaar, door elkaar = 'mixed up'), and crucially it disambiguates 'each other' from 'themselves' — Ze slaan zich (themselves) vs Ze slaan elkaar (each other), a distinction English makes with separate words.
- Reflexive Pronouns and ZichA2 — When the subject acts on itself, Dutch uses a reflexive pronoun: me, je, ons reuse the object forms, but the third person and formal u have their own word, zich (Hij wast zich) — a form English simply does not have. Adding -zelf (mezelf, zichzelf) marks emphasis or genuine self-directed action, and many Dutch verbs are obligatorily reflexive where English uses none (zich vergissen = to be mistaken).
- Compound Prepositions and CircumpositionsB2 — Dutch frames many spatial relations with two parts that bracket the noun — a preposition before and a postposition after: van de tafel af, naar het strand toe, om het huis heen, door de muur heen, tegen de wind in, uit een klein dorp vandaan. The wrapping adds directional or emphatic force English handles with a single word, and dropping the second part is the classic learner error.
- Pronouns: OverviewA1 — A map of the Dutch pronoun system: subject vs object forms, the stressed/unstressed pairs that run through the whole system (ik/'k, jij/je, hij/ie), the formal u, reflexive zich, and possessives — with pointers to the detail page for each.