Family and Relationships Expressions | Dutch Grammar

Family is one of the first things you talk about with new people, so this vocabulary pays off immediately. Most of the words are easy for English speakers — vader, moeder, broer are close cousins of "father, mother, brother." But two of them, neef and nicht, each do double duty, and the relationship phrases (dating, living together, being married) have their own fixed prepositions. This page gives you the family tree, the relationship phrases, and the possessive pronouns you need to glue it all together.

The immediate family

Start with the core household. Ouders ("parents") is the umbrella term; vader and moeder are the formal-neutral words, while papa/pap and mama/mam are the everyday affectionate ones (like "dad" and "mum"). Siblings are broer ("brother") and zus ("sister"); together they're broers en zussen.

Dutch	English	Note
de vader / pap(a)	father / dad	papa is informal
de moeder / mam(a)	mother / mum	mama is informal
de ouders	parents	plural only, "the parents"
de broer	brother	plural broers
de zus	sister	also zusje (little sister)
de kinderen	children	irregular plural of kind

Mijn ouders wonen in Groningen en mijn broer woont in Rotterdam.

My parents live in Groningen and my brother lives in Rotterdam. ('ouders' = parents, plural only)

Heb je broers of zussen?

Do you have any brothers or sisters? (the standard 'do you have siblings?' question)

We hebben drie kinderen: twee dochters en een zoon.

We have three children: two daughters and one son. ('kinderen' is the irregular plural of 'kind')

Note kinderen ("children") is an irregular plural — kind → kinderen, not kinden. A son is a zoon, a daughter a dochter.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles — and the neef/nicht trap

Grandparents are opa ("grandpa") and oma ("grandma"); more formally grootvader and grootmoeder. Then comes the famous trap: oom is "uncle" and tante is "aunt," but neef and nicht each cover two English words.

neef = both "cousin (male)" and "nephew"
nicht = both "cousin (female)" and "niece"

Dutch simply doesn't distinguish "cousin" from "nephew/niece" lexically — the relationship is clear from context (or you spell it out: de zoon van mijn zus, "my sister's son"). So one Dutch word, two English meanings. This catches every learner.

Dutch	English
de opa / grootvader	grandpa / grandfather
de oma / grootmoeder	grandma / grandmother
de oom	uncle
de tante	aunt
de neef	(male) cousin OR nephew
de nicht	(female) cousin OR niece

Mijn opa en oma passen vaak op de kleinkinderen.

My grandpa and grandma often look after the grandchildren. ('oppassen' = to babysit)

Mijn neef komt uit Amsterdam — de zoon van mijn tante.

My cousin is from Amsterdam — my aunt's son. ('neef' = cousin here; context makes it clear)

Ik ga zaterdag op mijn nichtje passen.

I'm babysitting my niece on Saturday. (the diminutive 'nichtje' often signals 'niece' over 'cousin')

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When you need to be unambiguous about neef/nicht, lean on the diminutive: a small neefje/nichtje is usually a nephew/niece (a child), while an adult neef/nicht is more often a cousin. Otherwise, spell it out: de zoon van mijn broer.

Possessives: mijn, jouw, zijn, haar, ons

To say whose family member it is, you need the possessive pronouns. The key ones for this topic:

Dutch	English
mijn	my
jouw / je	your (informal)
uw	your (formal)
zijn	his
haar	her
ons / onze	our
hun	their

The two to watch are zijn ("his") and haar ("her") — they agree with the owner's gender, exactly like English, not with the noun. And ons/onze is the one Dutch possessive that changes form: ons before a het-word (ons huis), onze before a de-word and all plurals (onze familie, onze kinderen).

Dat is haar broer en daarnaast staat zijn moeder.

That's her brother, and his mother is standing next to him. ('haar' = her, 'zijn' = his — they match the owner)

Onze kinderen spelen vaak met hun neefjes en nichtjes.

Our children often play with their cousins. ('onze' before a plural; 'hun' = their)

Relationships: dating, living together, married

Now the relationship phrases, each with its fixed construction. The most charmingly Dutch one is verkering hebben — "to be going steady / dating," used especially of teenagers and young couples. Verkering is the relationship itself; you hebt verkering (with someone) — verkering hebben met.

verkering hebben (met) — to be dating / going out (with) (slightly informal, youthful)
een relatie hebben (met) — to be in a relationship (with) (neutral, all ages)
verliefd zijn op — to be in love with (always + op)
samenwonen (met) — to live together / cohabit
getrouwd zijn (met) — to be married (to) (always + met)
de partner / vriend / vriendin — partner / boyfriend / girlfriend

Mijn dochter heeft sinds kort verkering met een jongen uit haar klas.

My daughter has recently started dating a boy from her class. ('verkering hebben met')

Ze zijn al vijf jaar samen en wonen sinds vorig jaar samen.

They've been together five years and have lived together since last year. ('samenwonen' = to cohabit)

Ik ben getrouwd met een Belg, dus we spreken thuis Nederlands.

I'm married to a Belgian, so we speak Dutch at home. (it's 'getrouwd MET', not 'aan' or 'tot')

Hij is al sinds de middelbare school verliefd op haar.

He's been in love with her since secondary school. ('verliefd zijn OP' — always with 'op')

The preposition to lock in is met for marriage: getrouwd zijn met, never aan or tot. And for being in love it's op: verliefd op.

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Three fixed prepositions to memorise: getrouwd met (married to), verliefd op (in love with), and verkering / een relatie met (dating / in a relationship with). The English prepositions ("to," "with") don't reliably predict the Dutch ones.

Talking about ages: de jongste, de oudste

To rank siblings or children, use the superlatives de jongste ("the youngest") and de oudste ("the oldest"). They behave like ordinary superlative adjectives with the article de.

Mijn oudste zoon zit op de universiteit en de jongste op de basisschool.

My oldest son is at university and the youngest is in primary school. ('de oudste / de jongste')

Common Mistakes

❌ Ik ben getrouwd aan een Nederlander.

Wrong preposition — 'getrouwd' takes 'met', not 'aan' (a calque of English 'married to').

✅ Ik ben getrouwd met een Nederlander.

I'm married to a Dutch person.

❌ Hij is verliefd met haar.

Wrong preposition — 'verliefd' takes 'op', not 'met'.

✅ Hij is verliefd op haar.

He's in love with her.

❌ Dat is haar vader.

Only wrong if the owner is male — 'zijn/haar' must match the OWNER's gender. For a man's father, use 'zijn'.

✅ Dat is zijn vader.

That's his father. (owner is male → 'zijn')

❌ Mijn neef is de dochter van mijn zus.

Mismatched gender — a daughter is female, so 'nicht', not 'neef'.

✅ Mijn nicht is de dochter van mijn zus.

My niece is my sister's daughter.

❌ Mijn dochter heeft een verkering met een jongen.

Almost right — 'verkering' is used without an article in this idiom: 'verkering hebben', not 'een verkering hebben'.

✅ Mijn dochter heeft verkering met een jongen.

My daughter is dating a boy.

Key Takeaways

The core family words mirror English closely, but kinderen is an irregular plural and ouders is plural-only.
Neef and nicht each cover two English meanings — cousin AND nephew/niece — disambiguated by context or the diminutive neefje/nichtje.
Possessives zijn (his) and haar (her) agree with the owner; ons/onze is the one that changes form (ons
- het-word, onze
  - de-word/plural).
Relationship phrases carry fixed prepositions: getrouwd met, verliefd op, verkering / een relatie met.
Verkering hebben (dating) takes no article — verkering hebben, not een verkering hebben.

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