Using Der as an Object Relative

English uses "that" for everything: the man that called, the man that I called. Danish splits this job between der and som, and the split is governed by one grammatical fact — der can only be the subject of the relative clause. When the relative word stands for the object of the relative clause, der is simply ungrammatical; you need som or, very often, nothing at all.

English speakers, used to an all-purpose "that", treat der as the universal relative pronoun and produce sentences like bogen der jeg læser. To a Dane this is broken — der there is trying to be the subject, but the clause already has a subject (jeg). For the underlying distribution, see Der vs Som and Relative der/som.

The one rule that explains everything

A relative clause is a mini-sentence missing one piece — the piece the relative word fills in. Ask: what role does the relative word play inside the relative clause?

• If it is the subject (it does the verb's action): der or som both work.
• If it is the object (something is done to it): only som, or nothing.

Why English speakers get it wrong

In English, "that" and "which" are role-blind: the book that fell (subject) and the book that I read (object) use the same word. So the English speaker has no instinct that the role matters, and grabs the word that looks and sounds most like a relative — der — for both. The cure is to drop the idea of a single translation for "that" and instead identify the role first. A useful reflex: if a personal pronoun (jeg, du, han, hun, vi, I, de) comes right after the relative slot, the slot is an object — kill der.

The common mistakes

Mistake 1 — der with an object relative

The flagship error. The relative clause has its own subject, so the relative word is the object.

Rule: a subject already present → use som or nothing, never der.

Mistake 2 — der after a preposition

A relative word governed by a preposition is never a subject, so der is out.

Rule: anything after a preposition is never the subject → never der.

Mistake 3 — dropping the relative word when it's the subject

The flip side: when the relative word is the subject, you may not leave it out. English allows "the man called me" only when "man" is the object; for a subject relative English still needs "who/that". Danish is stricter — a subject relative must be spelled out as der or som.

Rule: a subject relative is obligatory — keep der or som; never delete it.

Mistake 4 — som where the clause needs no relative word at all

This isn't wrong, but learners often force som into an object relative where Danes naturally drop it. Both are correct; the bare version is more idiomatic in speech.

Rule: object som is optional — Danes usually drop it in everyday speech (informal).

Mistake 5 — der vs det at the start of a sentence (a different word)

Beginners sometimes blame der for object errors when they have actually confused the relative der with the existential/expletive der ("there"). They are different words. The relative der needs a noun in front of it; the expletive der introduces a new subject.

Rule: a headless relative ("what...") uses det, not der; relative der always follows a noun.

Mistake 6 — der referring to a whole clause

When the relative refers back to an entire idea rather than a single noun, Danish uses hvilket (formal) or restructures with hvad / noget der — not a bare object der.

Rule: referring to a whole clause → hvilket (formal) or det (everyday), not der.

Mistake 7 — using der as the subject when a comma-less restrictive clause already supplies the subject in spoken shorthand

In careful writing, a subject relative needs der/som; don't let the spoken habit of clipping words tempt you to omit it in writing.

Rule: subject relative stays in writing — der (or som), even in cleft sentences like det er... der.

Choosing between der and som for a subject relative

When the relative is the subject, both der and som are correct. Der is the lighter, more frequent everyday choice; som is slightly more formal or used to avoid a clash with the expletive der nearby.

Common Mistakes

In one glance:

Key Takeaways

• Der = subject relative only. If the relative clause already has a subject, the relative word is the object → use som or nothing.
• Anything after a preposition is never a subject → never der.
• A subject relative may never be deleted; an object relative usually is, in speech.
• Headless "what" = det; whole-clause "which" = hvilket (formal) or det (everyday) — not der.
• The instant test: a personal pronoun right after the relative slot means object → drop der. See Relative clauses for the full picture.