Learn Hardcore Turkish: Ben çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum.

-erek/-arak makes an adverbial participle meaning “by …-ing” or “while …-ing,” describing the manner/means of the main action.
içerek = verb stem iç- (drink) + -erek. It’s -erek (not -arak) because of vowel harmony (the last vowel in the stem is front: i).
The -erek action is simultaneous with the main verb and cannot carry tense on its own.
Negative is made on the verb: içmeyerek = “by not drinking.”

Why use içerek instead of içip?

-erek focuses on manner/means: “I calm myself down by drinking tea.”
-ip typically links actions in sequence or loosely: Çay içip kendimi sakinleştiriyorum leans toward “I drink tea and (then) calm myself.” It can be understood as a sequence rather than the means.
For “by …-ing,” prefer -erek/-arak.

Could I say çay içince instead? What’s the difference?

-ince/-ınca means “when/once (something happens).”
Çay içince sakinleşiyorum = “When I drink tea, I calm down” (a natural result, not necessarily a deliberate act).
Çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum = “I calm myself by drinking tea” (a deliberate method).

Why is it kendimi and not kendim?

sakinleştirmek is transitive (“to calm [someone/something] down”), so its direct object must take the accusative when definite/specific.
Pronouns in object position are always specific, so they take accusative.
Formation: kendi (self) + 1sg possessive -m → kendim (“myself” as a noun) + accusative -i → kendimi (“myself” as a direct object).
Other persons: kendini, kendisini, kendimizi, kendinizi, kendilerini (contexts vary between colloquial and formal forms).

Why not say beni sakinleştiriyorum?

beni = “me.” Ben beni sakinleştiriyorum is ungrammatical/unnatural for reflexive meaning.
When the subject and object are the same person, Turkish uses the reflexive kendi-: kendimi sakinleştiriyorum.
beni would be used when someone else is the subject: Sen beni sakinleştiriyorsun (“You are calming me down”).

What’s the difference between sakinleşiyorum and kendimi sakinleştiriyorum?

sakinleşmek (intransitive): “to calm down” (it just happens or happens with minimal implied agency). Example: Çay içince sakinleşiyorum.
sakinleştirmek (transitive, causative): “to make calm.” With kendimi, it’s reflexive and emphasizes a deliberate, self-applied method: kendimi sakinleştiriyorum = “I’m calming myself.”

Do I have to say Ben? Can I drop it?

You can drop it. Turkish is pro-drop: Çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum is fully natural.
Keep Ben for emphasis/contrast: Ben çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum (as opposed to someone else or some other method).

Can I change the word order?

Common, natural options:
- Çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum. (neutral)
- Ben kendimi çay içerek sakinleştiriyorum. (slight emphasis on “myself”)
- Kendimi çay içerek sakinleştiriyorum. (focus on the object)
Adverbial -erek phrases usually come before the verb. Placing çay içerek after the verb (e.g., …sakinleştiriyorum çay içerek) sounds like an afterthought and is less standard.

Why is it çay, not çayı?

çay is indefinite/generic: “tea (in general).”
In -erek phrases that express manner, the object is typically indefinite: Çay içerek…
If you mean a specific tea, accusative is possible: Bu çayı içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum = “I’m calming myself by drinking this tea.” (More context-bound.)

Does -iyor mean “right now,” or can it be habitual?

-iyor is present continuous/progressive, but in everyday speech it often covers current habits or ongoing strategies: “I’m (these days) calming myself by drinking tea.”
For a timeless/habitual statement, aorist (-ir/-er) is also possible: Çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiririm (more like a general rule or typical behavior).
Both are acceptable; -iyor feels more conversational and “current.”

How do I make this negative or a yes/no question?

Negative: Çay içerek kendimi sakinleştirmiyorum. (“I don’t calm myself by drinking tea.”)
Yes/no question: Çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyor muyum?
- The question particle mi/ mı/ mu/ mü is separate and vowel-harmonizes with the preceding word.

What is the internal structure of sakinleştiriyorum?

sakin (calm, adj) + -leş (become) → sakinleş- (to become calm)
-tir/-dir (causative) → sakinleştir- (to make [someone] calm)
-iyor (present continuous) → sakinleştiriyor-
-um (1st person singular) → sakinleştiriyorum
Altogether: “I am making [someone] calm.” With kendimi, the someone is “myself.”

Is çay içerekten acceptable?

-erekten is a nonstandard/colloquial variant heard in some regions. In standard Turkish, use -erek/-arak: çay içerek.

How do I say “by not drinking tea”?

Negate the verb before -erek: Çay içmeyerek.
Example: Çay içmeyerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum = “I calm myself by not drinking tea.” (Grammatically fine, though the idea is unusual.)

Any pronunciation tips for the sentence?

ç as in “church,” ş as in “shoe.” All vowels are short.
In -iyor forms, stress typically falls on the syllable before -iyor. Here: sa-kin-leş-TİR-i-yo-rum.
Say it smoothly: Ben çay içerek kendimi sakinleştiriyorum.

Are there natural synonyms for the main verb here?

kendimi rahatlatıyorum = I relax/soothe myself.
sinirlerimi yatıştırıyorum = I’m soothing my nerves.
Intransitive alternative: Çay içince rahatlıyorum/sakinleşiyorum = I relax/calm down when I drink tea.
Note that only transitive verbs can take kendimi as a direct object.

Can I say kendi kendimi or kendi kendime here?

kendi kendime = “by myself/on my own” (dative), often with intransitives: Kendi kendime sakinleşiyorum (“I calm down by myself”).
kendi kendimi doubles the reflexive for emphasis (“me, myself, I”), e.g., Kendi kendimi sakinleştiriyorum. It’s emphatic/redundant but heard in speech. Standard, neutral usage is simply kendimi sakinleştiriyorum.