Learn Hardcore Russian: Например, возвратные глаголы «мыться», «готовиться», «улыбаться», «знакомиться» помогают говорить про себя. - For example, the reflexive verbs “мыться” to wash oneself, “готовиться” to prepare oneself, “улыбаться” to smile, “знакомиться” to get acquainted help to talk about yourself.

Grammatically, these are verbs with the ending -ся (or -сь) that show that the action “returns” to the subject, or that the subject is in some way involved in the action:

мыться – to wash oneself
готовиться – to prepare (oneself)
улыбаться – to smile (the person is the one smiling)
знакомиться – to get acquainted, to meet (new) people

In English, reflexivity is shown with pronouns (myself, yourself, himself), but in Russian it’s usually built into the verb form with -ся/-сь.

So yes, they are the Russian equivalent of reflexive verbs, but Russian uses a special verb ending rather than separate pronouns in most cases.

Why do these verbs end in -ся or -сь? Is there a difference between them?

The endings -ся and -сь are both forms of the same reflexive suffix. Historically, they come from the reflexive pronoun себя (“oneself”).

In infinitives, you see:
- мыться, готовиться, знакомиться – ending in -ться or -ться (this is basically -ть + ся).
In conjugated forms, you usually see:
- -сь after a vowel
  - он моется → мойся! (“wash yourself!”)
  - он улыбается → улыбайся!
- -ся after a consonant
  - он моется → он моется (present)
  - они моются
  - он готовится

So the main practical rule:

-сь after a vowel,
-ся after a consonant.

There’s no difference in meaning between -ся and -сь; it’s just a phonetic/orthographic rule.

Do Russian reflexive verbs always mean “do something to oneself,” like English “wash myself”?

No. Many reflexive verbs do mean “do something to oneself,” but not all.

Clearly reflexive (action on oneself):
- мыться – to wash oneself
- одеваться – to dress oneself
Mutual / reciprocal:
- знакомиться (с кем?) – people become acquainted with each other
- встречаться – to meet each other / to date
No direct English reflexive idea at all:
- нравиться – to be pleasing to someone, to be liked
  (literally “to please oneself to someone” historically, but you don’t feel that now)
- бояться – to be afraid
- смеяться – to laugh
- улыбаться – to smile

So возвратный (reflexive) is primarily a form label (“verb with -ся/-сь”) and not a guarantee of “myself/yourself” meaning like in English.

What’s the difference between мыть and мыться?

мыть = to wash something/someone (else)
- мыть посуду – to wash the dishes
- мыть пол – to wash the floor
- мыть ребёнка – to wash a child
мыться = to wash oneself / to bathe / to shower
- Я моюсь каждое утро. – I wash (myself) / I shower every morning.
- Он моется в душе. – He is showering / He is washing himself in the shower.

So -ся marks that the subject is the one being washed.

What’s the difference between готовить and готовиться?

готовить = to prepare / to cook something
- готовить еду – to cook food
- готовить доклад – to prepare a report
готовиться (к чему?) = to prepare (oneself) for something
- готовиться к экзамену – to prepare for an exam
- готовиться к поездке – to get ready for a trip

So:

готовить → object is what you are preparing.
готовиться → you are getting ready for something (exam, trip, etc.).

Is there a non-reflexive verb улыбать that corresponds to улыбаться?

In modern everyday Russian, улыбаться (impf.) / улыбнуться (pf.) are the normal verbs for “to smile.”

There is a verb улыбать in dictionaries, but it is:

rare,
bookish or old-fashioned,
usually means “to cause to smile / to make (someone) smile.”

For a learner, you can safely think:

улыбаться – to smile (process, repeated action)
улыбнуться – to smile (once, a single smile)

You do not normally use улыбать in regular conversation.

What’s the difference between знакомить and знакомиться? And why is знакомиться used when talking about meeting people?

знакомить (кого с кем) = to introduce someone to someone
- Я познакомил Марину с моим братом. – I introduced Marina to my brother.
знакомиться (с кем) = to become acquainted / to meet (new) people
- Мы познакомились на работе. – We met / got to know each other at work.
- Мне нравится знакомиться с новыми людьми. – I like meeting new people.

In language-learning contexts, знакомиться is very useful because it lets you talk about:

meeting people,
getting to know them,
making new acquaintances.

That’s why it appears in the list: it’s a reflexive verb you often use “about yourself” (who you meet, how you meet people, etc.).

What does говорить про себя mean here? Does it mean “about yourself” or “to yourself (in your head)”?

The phrase про себя has two main uses:

“About oneself” (colloquial, with verbs like говорить, рассказывать):
- говорить про себя – to talk about oneself
- рассказывать про себя – to tell about oneself
“To oneself / silently / in your head”:
- думать про себя – to think to oneself (internally)
- читать про себя – to read silently, not aloud
- говорить про себя – to speak to oneself, quietly or internally

In the sentence:

…помогают говорить про себя.

in a language-learning context it most naturally means:

“…help you talk about yourself.”

So here, про себя ≈ about yourself, because these verbs describe your own actions and experiences.

Why does the phrase use себя and not меня: why про себя, not про меня?

Себя is the reflexive pronoun in Russian. It’s used when the object refers back to the subject:

Я говорю про себя. – I talk about myself.
Ты думаешь о себе. – You think about yourself.
Он заботится о себе. – He takes care of himself.

It doesn’t change for person (I/you/he/she/we/they):

Я думаю о себе.
Ты думаешь о себе.
Они говорят о себе.

If you say про меня, it literally means “about me” when the subject is someone else:

Он говорит про меня. – He is talking about me.

In говорить про себя, the idea is that the subject is talking about themself, so Russian uses the reflexive себя.

Why is there a comma after Например?

In Russian punctuation, Например (“for example”) at the beginning of a sentence is usually treated as a parenthetical word (вводное слово). Parenthetical words are typically separated by commas:

Например, возвратные глаголы…
Конечно, это возможно. – Of course, that’s possible.
Вообще, мне это не нравится. – In general, I don’t like it.

So the comma reflects the same idea as English:

“For example, reflexive verbs …”

Why are the verbs мыться, готовиться, улыбаться, знакомиться in the infinitive form here?

They’re in the infinitive because they are being mentioned as examples of verbs in general, not as actions happening in a specific time or person.

The structure is:

возвратные глаголы мыться, готовиться… помогают…
“Reflexive verbs to wash oneself, to get ready… help…”

After the noun глаголы (“verbs”), Russian typically uses the infinitive to name or list verbs, just like dictionary entries.

If you conjugated them, it would no longer be a neutral list of “verbs as words.”

Why are these verbs written in « » quotation marks?

The angle quotes « » are standard Russian quotation marks. Here, they’re used for “mentioning the words as words”, not for reported speech.

возвратные глаголы «мыться», «готовиться», «улыбаться», «знакомиться»…

This is similar to English writing:

reflexive verbs “to wash oneself,” “to prepare (oneself),” “to smile,” “to get acquainted” …

Russian often uses « » where English might use:

double quotes: “ ”
italics, or
bold for words-as-examples.

So those marks just show that these are example verb forms.

Why is the word order “…глаголы … помогают говорить про себя” and not “…помогают про себя говорить”? Is word order strict here?

Russian word order is more flexible than English, especially with infinitive phrases.

Both are grammatically possible:

…глаголы мыться, готовиться… помогают говорить про себя.
…глаголы мыться, готовиться… помогают про себя говорить.

The first version:

помогают говорить про себя is the most neutral and common: “help [to] talk about oneself.”

Moving про себя before говорить:

помогают про себя говорить gives a slight emphasis to про себя (“specifically about oneself”), but the meaning is basically the same.

So:

Word order here is not very strict.
The chosen order is simply the most natural, neutral way to say it.