Reflexive verbs and the conjunctiv are two of the most frequent things in Romanian, so they collide constantly: vreau să mă odihnesc ("I want to rest"), trebuie să te speli pe mâini ("you have to wash your hands"). When a reflexive verb goes into the conjunctiv, you face one extra question on top of forming the verb: where does the reflexive clitic go, and which clitic do you use? The answer is mechanical and reassuring — the clitic slips in right after să, before the verb — but it hides the single most common reflexive error of intermediate learners: freezing the clitic as a permanent să se for every person. This page shows you the slot, the agreement, and the negation rule, so that vreau să *mă odihnesc and vrea să **se odihnească* come out right every time.
The clitic sits between să and the verb
In the present conjunctiv, the reflexive clitic occupies the slot immediately after să and immediately before the verb. The order is fixed: să + clitic + verb. Nothing else may come between them.
| Person | Accusative reflexive (a se odihni) | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| eu | să mă odihnesc | that I rest |
| tu | să te odihnești | that you rest |
| el / ea | să se odihnească | that he / she rest |
| noi | să ne odihnim | that we rest |
| voi | să vă odihniți | that you (pl.) rest |
| ei / ele | să se odihnească | that they rest |
Vreau să mă odihnesc puțin înainte de cină.
I want to rest a little before dinner.
Ar trebui să te speli pe mâini înainte să mănânci.
You should wash your hands before you eat.
Bunicul are nevoie să se odihnească după drum.
Grandpa needs to rest after the journey.
Notice that the verb itself is formed exactly as the present-formation page describes — only the 3rd person changes shape (se odihnește → să se odihnească). The clitic placement is an entirely separate, simpler layer laid on top of that.
The clitic must agree with the subject — the classic trap
Here is the error that dwarfs all others. Because the dictionary form is a *se odihni and the most-heard example is the 3rd person să **se odihnească, learners quietly conclude that the reflexive marker simply *is să se — a fixed chunk you bolt on regardless of who the subject is. It is not. Each person keeps its own clitic. The clitic agrees with the subject of the conjunctiv verb, exactly as it does in the present indicative.
So for the accusative series the clitics run mă / te / se / ne / vă / se, and for the dative series mi / ți / și / ne / vă / și (these reduced forms appear after să — more below). The frozen să se is correct only in the 3rd person.
Vreau să mă distrez diseară, nu să stau acasă.
I want to have fun tonight, not to stay home.
Sora mea vrea să se distreze, dar eu sunt obosit.
My sister wants to have fun, but I'm tired.
E timpul să ne grăbim, începe filmul.
It's time for us to hurry, the film is starting.
Put the right and wrong versions side by side and the trap is obvious: vreau să *mă odihnesc (I → *mă) versus the wrong vreau să *se odihnesc*, which mismatches a 3rd-person clitic with a 1st-person verb. The clitic and the verb ending must point at the same person.
Dative reflexives in the conjunctiv: să-mi, să-ți, să-și
Dative reflexive verbs like a-și aminti (to remember), a-și imagina (to imagine), a-și dori (to wish) use the dative clitic series. After să, the singular dative forms appear in their reduced, hyphenated shapes — să-mi, să-ți, să-și — because the full forms îmi, îți, își contract against să.
| Person | Dative reflexive (a-și aminti) |
|---|---|
| eu | să-mi amintesc |
| tu | să-ți amintești |
| el / ea | să-și amintească |
| noi | să ne amintim |
| voi | să vă amintiți |
| ei / ele | să-și amintească |
Încerc să-mi amintesc unde am pus cheile.
I'm trying to remember where I put the keys.
Vreau să-ți imaginezi cum ar arăta camera fără perete.
I want you to imagine what the room would look like without the wall.
Merită să-ți dorești ceva cu adevărat mare.
It's worth wishing for something truly big.
The plurals ne and vă are shared with the accusative series and do not contract: să ne amintim, să vă amintiți, written as separate words. Only the singular datives and the 3rd-person -și fuse onto să with a hyphen.
Negation: nu sits in front of să, the clitic stays put
When you negate a conjunctiv clause, nu goes before să, and the clitic stays in its slot right after să. The order becomes nu + să + clitic + verb. The clitic does not move.
Te rog să nu te superi pe mine.
Please don't get upset with me.
Am vorbit încet ca să nu se trezească copilul.
I spoke quietly so that the child wouldn't wake up.
Trebuie să nu ne grăbim prea tare, e gheață pe drum.
We mustn't hurry too much, there's ice on the road.
Compare this with the imperative, where negation flips the clitic in front of the verb (nu te grăbi). In the conjunctiv there is nothing to flip — the clitic was already pre-verbal — so nu simply slides in ahead of the whole să-unit. This is one of the reasons the conjunctiv is easier than the imperative for reflexives: the clitic position never changes.
Why this slot, and why English speakers miss it
In Romanian the reflexive clitic is proclitic in finite simple tenses — it leans forward onto the verb that follows it. Să introduces a finite verb, so the clitic naturally docks between them. English has nothing comparable: our reflexive marker (myself, yourself, himself) is a full pronoun that comes after the verb ("I want to enjoy myself"), and it never fuses with anything. So the English speaker's instinct is to push the reflexive to the end — *vreau să distrez mă — which is impossible in Romanian.
The deeper trap, though, is treating the dictionary citation a se as the verb's permanent face. You learned a se odihni with se attached, so se feels welded on. But se is just the 3rd-person clitic that dictionaries use as a placeholder — the real verb is "X + odihni," where X agrees with the subject. The moment you internalize that the clitic is a slot to fill, not a fixed prefix, the whole paradigm clicks: să mă odihnesc, să te odihnești, să se odihnească, each clitic chosen to match its verb.
Common Mistakes
❌ Vreau să se odihnesc puțin.
Incorrect — the clitic must agree with 'I' (mă), not freeze as the 3rd-person se.
✅ Vreau să mă odihnesc puțin.
I want to rest a little.
❌ Trebuie să speli pe mâini.
Incorrect — the reflexive clitic can't be dropped; 'you wash (yourself)' needs te.
✅ Trebuie să te speli pe mâini.
You have to wash your hands.
❌ Vreau să distrez mă diseară.
Incorrect — the clitic goes between să and the verb, never after it: să mă distrez.
✅ Vreau să mă distrez diseară.
I want to have fun tonight.
❌ Te rog să te nu superi.
Incorrect — nu goes before să, and the clitic stays in its slot: să nu te superi.
✅ Te rog să nu te superi.
Please don't get upset.
❌ Încerc să mă amintesc adresa.
Incorrect — a-și aminti is dative-reflexive, so it's să-mi, not the accusative să mă.
✅ Încerc să-mi amintesc adresa.
I'm trying to remember the address.
Key Takeaways
- The reflexive clitic sits between să and the verb: să mă odihnesc, să te speli, să se distreze.
- The clitic agrees with the subject — mă/te/se/ne/vă/se (accusative) — and is not a frozen să se; only the 3rd person uses se.
- Dative reflexives contract in the singular: să-mi, să-ți, să-și (hyphenated); the plurals să ne, să vă stay loose.
- Negation puts nu before să; the clitic does not move: să nu te superi.
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Start learning Romanian→Related Topics
- Accusative Reflexive VerbsA2 — The accusative reflexive clitics mă, te, se, ne, vă, se — true reflexives and the large class of verbs that are reflexive in form only.
- Dative Reflexive VerbsB1 — The dative reflexive clitics îmi, îți, își, ne, vă, își — verbs like a-și aminti and a-și dori that act on one's own mind or in one's own interest.
- Conjunctiv Present: FormationA2 — How to form the present conjunctiv — identical to the indicative except for the 3rd person, which flips the theme vowel.
- The Conjunctiv (să-Subjunctive): OverviewA2 — An introduction to Romanian's most important feature — the să + verb construction that replaces the infinitive after want, can, and must.
- Conjunctiv After Modals: a putea, a trebui, a vreaA2 — How modal and control verbs (a vrea, a putea, a trebui, a încerca, a reuși, a spera) force a să-clause where English uses an infinitive, and the one verb that still tolerates the infinitive.