English hands you a tidy set of third-person pronouns — he, she, it, they — and you use them constantly, swapping them in for any noun you'd rather not repeat. Japanese has words that look like this set, 彼（かれ） for "he" and 彼女（かのじょ） for "she," and beginners latch onto them gratefully. But they are traps in two ways: they are used far less than English he/she, and both double as words for a romantic partner. Meanwhile there is simply no neutral word for "it." This page shows you what natives actually reach for — names, roles, and あの人（ひと） — and when 彼/彼女 are safe.
彼 and 彼女 — real, but limited (and romantic)
彼 and 彼女 do exist and are grammatical. They are common in writing — novels, translated fiction, journalism — where a narrator needs to track characters. In conversation, though, they are used much less than English he/she, and they carry a second meaning that English speakers keep tripping over:
- 彼氏（かれし） is "boyfriend," and 彼 alone very often means "boyfriend" too.
- 彼女 means both "she" and "girlfriend."
So when a friend asks 「彼女、元気？」, they might be asking "How is she?" — or "How's your girlfriend?" The words are genuinely ambiguous, and speakers lean on context to sort it out.
新しい彼女できた？
atarashii kanojo dekita?
Did you get a new girlfriend? (here 彼女 is unmistakably 'girlfriend')
彼女に伝えておくね。
kanojo ni tsutaete oku ne.
I'll let her know. / I'll tell my girlfriend. (genuinely ambiguous without context)
There is a historical reason these words feel bookish. 彼 and 彼女 are, in their pronoun sense, relatively young: 彼 was pressed into service as "he" and 彼女 was coined as "she" during the Meiji era (late 1800s), specifically to translate the European third-person pronouns pouring in through Western literature. Before that, 彼 was just a demonstrative meaning "that (over there)," and there was no dedicated "she" at all. That translation-desk origin is exactly why they still cling to the written page and never became the effortless, constant he/she of English conversation.
Where 彼/彼女 do work smoothly is once a specific person has been established and their gender is relevant — for example, narrating a story or discussing a public figure.
彼はまだ来ていません。少し遅れるそうです。
kare wa mada kite imasen. sukoshi okureru sō desu.
He hasn't arrived yet. Apparently he'll be a little late. (referring to an already-known man — a careful, fine use of 彼)
The neutral default: あの人 / あの方, or the name
For a third party who isn't right in front of you, the everyday-neutral choices are あの人 ("that person") and, more politely, あの方（かた）. Both come straight from the こそあど demonstrative system (あの = "that, over there / that we both know"), which is why they feel neutral: they point rather than characterize. Even better, when you know the person, is simply their name + さん or their role.
あの人、誰だっけ？前に会った気がする。
ano hito, dare dakke? mae ni atta ki ga suru.
Who's that person again? I feel like I've met them before. (neutral, everyday)
あちらの方が新しい部長です。
achira no kata ga atarashii buchō desu.
That person over there is the new department head. (あの方/あちらの方 — polite)
田中さんは今日お休みです。明日戻ります。
Tanaka-san wa kyō o-yasumi desu. ashita modorimasu.
Tanaka is off today. She'll (he'll) be back tomorrow. (referring to a third party by name — the most natural choice)
Notice the last example: English would switch to she or he in the second sentence, but Japanese just drops the subject — the topic is still Tanaka, so no pronoun is needed. This is the real workhorse of third-person reference: state the name once, then omit.
In rougher, casual speech there are also こいつ / そいつ / あいつ ("this guy / that guy"), which are blunt and male-leaning — fine among friends about a buddy, rude about someone owed respect. And あの子（こ） ("that kid") is a casual, affectionate way to refer to a young person, often a young woman. (informal)
あいつ、また遅刻かよ。連絡してみる。
aitsu, mata chikoku ka yo. renraku shite miru.
That guy's late again? I'll try messaging him. (rough, casual, male-leaning — only among friends)
There is no word for "it"
English it has no Japanese equivalent, and this is one of the hardest habits to unlearn. When you'd say "it" in English, Japanese does one of two things:
- Drops the reference entirely — by far the most common.
- Uses a demonstrative — それ ("that (thing)") or そのこと ("that matter") — when you need to point at the thing explicitly for clarity or contrast.
かばんを買ったんだけど、すごく高かった。
kaban o katta n da kedo, sugoku takakatta.
I bought a bag, and it was really expensive. (English needs 'it'; Japanese just drops the subject)
それ、いい考えだね。やってみよう。
sore, ii kangae da ne. yatte miyō.
That's a good idea — let's try it. (それ points at the just-mentioned idea; 'try it' has no pronoun)
Which one to reach for depends on what "it" is standing in for. それ points at a concrete thing just mentioned (the bag, the car). そのこと points at a matter or fact — an abstract "it" that refers to a whole situation or statement ("I already know about it" → そのことはもう知っている). And when "it" is a filler with no real content — the "it" of "it's raining" or "it's fine" — Japanese supplies nothing at all.
The most important case is exactly that last one: weather, time, and situations have no dummy subject. English "it's raining" needs a grammatical "it," but Japanese has nothing there at all.
雨が降っている。傘を持っていこう。
ame ga futte iru. kasa o motte ikō.
It's raining. Let's take an umbrella. (no word for 'it' — the rain is the subject, and 'take it' drops the object)
A quick decision guide
| You want to refer to... | Best choice | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| A known person | Name + さん, or their role | Then drop it in following sentences |
| An unknown / unnamed person | あの人 / あの方 (polite) | Neutral; from the こそあど system |
| An established male, gender relevant | 彼 (carefully) | Watch the "boyfriend" reading |
| An established female, gender relevant | 彼女 (carefully) | Watch the "girlfriend" reading |
| A friend, casually | あいつ / あの子 / name | Rough or affectionate; not for respect contexts |
| A thing ("it") | Drop it, or それ / そのこと | No "it" pronoun exists |
| Weather / time / situation ("it") | Nothing | No dummy subject at all |
For the demonstrative machinery behind あの人 / それ / あれ, see The こそあど System.
Common mistakes
❌ 彼はどこ？彼はいつ来る？彼に電話して。
Incorrect (overuse) — spraying 彼 like English 'he' sounds stiff and can hint at a romantic 'him'. Use the name, then drop it.
✅ 田中さんはどこ？いつ来るのかな。電話してみて。
Tanaka-san wa doko? itsu kuru no kana. denwa shite mite.
Where's Tanaka? I wonder when he's coming. Try calling him. (name once, then omitted)
❌ 昨日、彼女と映画を見た。
Incorrect if you mean 'a female friend' — a listener will almost certainly hear 彼女 as 'my girlfriend'.
✅ 昨日、山田さんと映画を見た。
kinō, Yamada-san to eiga o mita.
I watched a movie with Yamada yesterday. (a name removes the 'girlfriend' ambiguity entirely)
❌ 車を買った。それは赤いです。それはとても速いです。
Incorrect (over-supplying 'it') — repeating それ for every English 'it' is unnatural and clunky.
✅ 車を買った。赤くて、とても速いんだ。
kuruma o katta. akakute, totemo hayai n da.
I bought a car. It's red and really fast. (no 'it' — the subject carries over)
❌ それは雨が降っています。
Incorrect — there is no dummy 'it' for weather; それは wrongly makes 'that' the subject.
✅ 雨が降っています。
ame ga futte imasu.
It's raining. (no subject word at all)
❌ あいつは会議に出ます。
Incorrect (about your company president) — あいつ is insultingly casual for someone owed respect.
✅ 社長は会議に出席されます。
shachō wa kaigi ni shusseki saremasu.
The president will attend the meeting. (title + honorific — respectful)
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Start learning Japanese→Related Topics
- Words for 'You' (and Why to Avoid Them)N4 — Why あなた, 君, お前 and あんた are a social minefield — and the native strategy of addressing people by name + さん, by title, or by dropping the word entirely.
- The こそあど SystemN5 — How Japanese demonstratives build a single こ/そ/あ/ど grid crossing distance with word type — pronouns, noun-modifiers, places, directions, kinds, and manner.
- Personal Pronouns: An OverviewN5 — Japanese 'pronouns' like 私, 僕, and あなた behave more like nouns than English pronouns — they are optional, chosen by gender and register, and second-person words are usually avoided altogether.