Thanking and Apologizing | Dutch Grammar

Thanking and apologizing are the two most frequent social rituals in any language, and Dutch has a small, fixed set of formulas for each — plus one feature English speakers always trip over: the je/u distinction is baked right into the thanks. You cannot say a neutral "thank you" the way English lets you; you must already have chosen whether you are on informal je terms or formal u terms with the person. This page walks through the whole inventory — how to thank, how to reply to thanks, how to apologize, and how to excuse yourself — marking every form for register and flagging where the preposition matters.

Thanking: "dank je wel" vs "dank u wel"

The everyday thanks is dank je wel (informal) or dank u wel (formal). Literally it's "thank you well", but the wel is just a fixed intensifier — don't translate it. The pronoun in the middle is the whole game: je if you'd address the person as jij, u if you'd address them as u. There is no pronoun-neutral version, so choosing wrong is a real social error, not a stylistic one.

Dank je wel voor het lenen van je fiets!

Thanks for lending me your bike! (informal — friend, peer)

Dank u wel, mevrouw. Fijne dag nog.

Thank you, ma'am. Have a good day. (formal — shop, official, stranger)

You'll also hear the shorter dank je / dank u without wel — slightly more clipped but completely normal. And in writing or speech, the order can flip to je dank only in the fixed elevated phrase bij dezen mijn dank, which you can ignore at this level.

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Because Dutch forces the je/u choice into the word "thank you" itself, decide your register before you open your mouth. With a peer, friend, or anyone who has called you jij: dank je. With a stranger, an older person, a clerk, or in any business setting: dank u. When in doubt with an adult stranger, u is the safe default.

"Bedankt" and "bedankt voor"

Bedankt is the most common single-word thanks and — crucially — it is register-neutral. It sidesteps the je/u problem entirely, which is exactly why it's so handy. Use it with anyone. To name what you're thanking for, the preposition is always voor + the thing (a noun or a het + infinitive).

Bedankt!

Thanks! (works for everyone — no je/u choice needed)

Bedankt voor je hulp, ik had het alleen nooit gered.

Thanks for your help, I'd never have managed on my own. ('bedankt voor' + noun)

Bedankt voor het wachten.

Thanks for waiting. ('voor het' + infinitive — the standard way to thank for an action)

For a fuller, warmer thanks there's heel erg bedankt ("thanks so much") and the more formal hartelijk dank / hartelijk bedankt ("many thanks", literally "heartfelt thanks"). At the very formal end — emails, speeches, official letters — you get mijn dank and met dank.

Heel erg bedankt voor de mooie bloemen!

Thank you so much for the lovely flowers! (warm, still informal-friendly)

Hartelijk dank voor uw snelle reactie.

Many thanks for your prompt reply. (formal, e.g. business email)

Replying to thanks

When someone thanks you, the standard reply is graag gedaan ("you're welcome", literally "gladly done"). Lighter, more casual options are geen dank ("no thanks needed") and geen probleem ("no problem"). The breezy niets te danken ("nothing to thank for") is also common.

— Bedankt voor de lift! — Graag gedaan!

— Thanks for the ride! — You're welcome! ('graag gedaan' is the default reply)

— Dank u wel. — Geen dank, hoor.

— Thank you. — Not at all. (the particle 'hoor' softens it warmly)

Note that English "you're welcome" has no word-for-word Dutch equivalent — welkom means only "welcome [to a place]", never a reply to thanks. Saying je bent welkom in response to thanks is a classic English calque that Dutch speakers find odd.

Apologizing: the four levels

Dutch sorts apologies roughly by weight, from a light bump to a genuine "I'm sorry".

sorry — borrowed straight from English and now fully Dutch, this is the all-purpose light apology. It's informal-to-neutral: fine among friends, fine for a small bump in the street, but too casual for a serious or formal apology.

Sorry, ik was even afgeleid. Wat zei je?

Sorry, I was distracted for a second. What did you say? (light, everyday)

Sorry dat ik zo laat ben!

Sorry I'm so late! (apologizing for a specific thing: 'sorry dat …')

pardon — this is not a general apology. It means "excuse me" in two specific situations: (1) to get past someone or get their attention, and (2) to say "what?/come again?" when you didn't hear. Using pardon the way you'd use English "pardon me, I'm sorry" for a real mistake sounds off.

Pardon, mag ik er even langs?

Excuse me, may I get past? (squeezing through a crowd)

Pardon? Dat verstond ik niet.

Sorry? I didn't catch that. ('pardon?' = come again?)

het spijt me — "I'm sorry", literally "it grieves me". This is the sincere apology for something that actually matters: a mistake, bad news, a real inconvenience. It carries genuine regret in a way sorry doesn't. The me can become mij for emphasis, and shifts to het spijt ons for "we".

Het spijt me echt, ik had je moeten waarschuwen.

I'm really sorry, I should have warned you. (sincere, for a genuine fault)

Het spijt me dat ik je teleurgesteld heb.

I'm sorry I let you down. (serious apology + 'dat'-clause)

mijn excuses / neem me niet kwalijk — the formal end. Mijn excuses (voor …) is "my apologies (for …)", standard in business and writing. Neem me niet kwalijk (formal: neemt u me niet kwalijk) literally means "don't hold it against me" and is a polite, slightly old-fashioned-but-current "I beg your pardon / excuse me", used both to apologize and to politely interrupt a stranger.

Mijn excuses voor het ongemak.

My apologies for the inconvenience. (formal, fixed business phrase)

Neemt u me niet kwalijk, weet u hoe laat het is?

Excuse me, do you know what time it is? (formal way to address a stranger)

"Excuses" is plural — there is no "een excuus" for sorry

A trap worth its own heading: the word for an apology is the plural excuses. You make je excuses (your apologies); you say mijn excuses. The singular een excuus exists but means an excuse (a justification, often a flimsy one) — a completely different thing. So ik bied mijn excuses aan = "I apologize", whereas dat is maar een excuus = "that's just an excuse".

Hij heeft zijn excuses aangeboden.

He apologized. ('excuses aanbieden' = to offer an apology — always plural)

Te druk? Dat is gewoon een excuus.

Too busy? That's just an excuse. (singular 'excuus' = a justification, not an apology)

Register at a glance

Function	Informal	Neutral	Formal
Thanks	dank je (wel)	bedankt	dank u wel / hartelijk dank
Reply to thanks	geen probleem	graag gedaan	graag gedaan
Light apology	sorry	sorry	neem me niet kwalijk
Real apology	het spijt me	het spijt me	mijn excuses

Common Mistakes

❌ Dank u wel voor je hulp, joh!

Register clash — 'dank u' (formal) mixed with 'je' and the casual 'joh'. Keep it consistent: 'Dank je wel voor je hulp, joh!'

✅ Dank je wel voor je hulp, joh!

Thanks a lot for your help, mate!

❌ Bedankt voor helpen.

Missing 'het' — to thank for an action you need 'voor het' + infinitive: 'Bedankt voor het helpen.'

✅ Bedankt voor het helpen.

Thanks for helping.

❌ — Bedankt! — Je bent welkom.

A calque of 'you're welcome'. Dutch 'welkom' only greets arrivals; the reply to thanks is 'graag gedaan'.

✅ — Bedankt! — Graag gedaan!

— Thanks! — You're welcome!

❌ Pardon, ik heb je glas omgestoten.

'Pardon' is for getting past or not hearing — not for a real mistake. Use 'sorry' or 'het spijt me': 'Sorry, ik heb je glas omgestoten.'

✅ Sorry, ik heb je glas omgestoten.

Sorry, I knocked over your glass.

❌ Ik bied mijn excuus aan.

The apology is plural: 'excuses'. Singular 'excuus' means a justification. 'Ik bied mijn excuses aan.'

✅ Ik bied mijn excuses aan.

I apologize.

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