The thing that (o que, aquilo que)

When referring to abstract ideas, statements, or unnamed actions, English often uses "what" or "the thing that" (e.g., "I understand what you mean"). In Portuguese, you express this using o que.

O que

Use o que to connect clauses without referring to a specific masculine or feminine noun. It translates to "what" (in statements) or "the thing that".

We need to resolve what happened yesterday.
Precisamos de resolver o que aconteceu ontem.
You never listen to what I say!
Nunca escutas o que digo!

Like in English, o que can appear in the middle of a sentence or at the beginning.

What you do is good for the relationship.
O que fazes é bom para a relação.

Aquilo que

You can also use the phrase aquilo que to mean exactly the same thing. On its own, aquilo means "that" (pointing to a distant or abstract concept). When paired with que, it acts as a fixed phrase meaning "that which", "what", or "the thing that".

Aquilo que and o que are interchangeable. Aquilo que simply adds a slight touch of emphasis, pointing more deliberately to "that specific thing".

Therapy is useful to understand what you think.
A terapia é útil para compreender aquilo que pensas.
The thing that offends me is your attitude.
Aquilo que me ofende é a tua atitude.

Discussing feelings and conflict

Because o que and aquilo que summarize complex past events or statements into a single compact phrase, they are essential tools for navigating conflicts, expressing feelings, and working through relationship issues.

The conflict started because he ignored what she asked.
O conflito começou porque ele ignorou o que ela pediu.
He hides the emotion and ignores what she says.
Ele esconde a emoção e ignora aquilo que ela diz.