Learn Hardcore Spanish (Latin America): Me apoyo en la mesa cuando estoy cansado.

When you “lean on” something in Spanish, you use the pronominal form apoyarse. The reflexive pronoun (me, te, se, etc.) signals that the subject is performing the action on themselves (i.e., leaning oneself). Without the reflexive pronoun, apoyar means “to support” or “to back” someone or something else.

Why is the pronoun me placed before apoyo rather than after the verb?

In simple indicative tenses (like the present), reflexive pronouns always go before the conjugated verb. So you say me apoyo instead of apoyo me. You would attach it after the verb only in affirmative commands or when using infinitives, gerunds, or affirmative commands (e.g., apóyate, estaré apoyándome).

Why do we use the preposition en and not sobre or encima de in me apoyo en la mesa?

Both en and sobre/encima de can mean “on,” but apoyarse en is the standard collocation for “to lean on.” Using sobre or encima de sounds more like “resting on top of.” If you said me apoyo sobre la mesa, it’s understandable but less idiomatic.

Could I say me apoyo contra la mesa instead?

Yes, apoyarse contra (“to lean against”) works too and emphasizes contact or pressure against a vertical surface. Use en for more neutral “leaning on” (often horizontal), and contra when you’re leaning against something like a wall or the side of a table.

What’s the difference between apoyarse and recostarse?

Apoyarse means “to lean” – you keep most of your weight on your feet or sit, pressing part of your body against a support. Recostarse means “to lie down” or “to lean back fully,” often resting your whole body. So me apoyo en la mesa is partial support; me recuesto en la mesa would imply laying your body on it, which is odd for a table.

Why do we use estoy (from estar) instead of soy (from ser) in cuando estoy cansado?

Estar describes temporary states or conditions, like being tired. Ser describes permanent or defining characteristics. Since tiredness is temporary, Spanish uses estar: estoy cansado.

Why is cansado masculine? What if a woman is speaking?

Adjectives agree in gender with the speaker or subject. A male speaker says cansado, a female speaker says cansada. So a woman would say Me apoyo en la mesa cuando estoy cansada.

How would you say this in the plural (we) form?

Change the reflexive pronoun and verb ending:
Nos apoyamos en la mesa cuando estamos cansados.
(For a group of women: ...cuando estamos cansadas.)

Can I replace cuando with al to say “upon being tired” or “when I get tired”?

Yes. Al + infinitive expresses “upon doing something.” You could say:
Me apoyo en la mesa al cansarme.
That means “I lean on the table upon getting tired,” focusing on the moment of becoming tired rather than the state.