Indirect Reflexive Pronouns
When using reflexive or reciprocal verbs in the passé composé, the past participle usually agrees with the subject. However, if the reflexive pronoun acts as an indirect object, the past participle is invariable (it does not agree).
How do you know if a pronoun is indirect? Think about the verb's standard form. Verbs that take à before a person—like parler à (to speak to) or sourire à (to smile at)—take an indirect object.
| They spoke to each other with a frank affection. | Elles se sont parlé avec une affection franche. |
| The girls smiled at each other with a lot of affection. | Les filles se sont souri avec beaucoup d'affection. |
Notice that even though elles and les filles are feminine plural, parlé and souri do not add an -es. Because they smiled at each other and spoke to each other, the reflexive pronoun se is indirect.
Communication and Relationships
This invariable rule applies to many verbs used to describe interpersonal relationships and communication, such as écrire à (to write to), mentir à (to lie to), and pardonner à (to forgive).
| They wrote reproaches to each other, but their relationship remains solid. | Elles se sont écrit des reproches, mais leur relation reste solide. |
| They never lied to each other in order not to betray each other. | Elles ne se sont jamais menti pour ne pas se trahir. |
| They forgave each other this betrayal to find peace again. | Elles se sont pardonné cette trahison pour retrouver la paix. |
Even when the sentence contains a direct object (like des reproches or cette trahison), the past participle remains invariable because the direct object comes after the verb. The core rule holds: because they are writing, lying, or forgiving to each other, the reflexive pronoun is indirect and there is no agreement.