This is the error so common that native Swedes make it constantly — and many would happily abolish the distinction. In speech, de and dem both come out as dom, so the spoken language gives you no clue which to write. But formal writing still distinguishes them, and getting it wrong is the most-flagged Swedish writing mistake there is. The good news for English speakers: you already have the distinction in your own head. English keeps they (subject) and them (object) separate — they called, I saw them — and that is exactly the Swedish split. Map de = they and dem = them, and a simple substitution test mops up the rest.
The rule: de = they (subject), dem = them (object)
- de is the subject pronoun — the doers, "they." It stands where English "they" stands.
- dem is the object pronoun — the receivers, "them." It stands where English "them" stands.
| Form | Role | English | Position |
|---|---|---|---|
| de | subject | they | does the action |
| dem | object | them | receives the action; after a preposition |
| dom | spoken / informal | they / them | everywhere in speech and casual text |
De ringde mig och jag bjöd in dem.
They called me and I invited them. 'De' is the subject (the callers); 'dem' is the object (the invited ones) — exactly like English they/them.
Error 1: subject written as dem
The classic. Dem shows up doing the action, where "they" belongs.
❌ Dem kommer imorgon.
Incorrect — this is the subject ('they come'), so it must be 'de'.
✅ De kommer imorgon.
They are coming tomorrow — subject → de.
❌ Dem bor i Malmö nu.
Incorrect — 'they live' is a subject; use de.
✅ De bor i Malmö nu.
They live in Malmö now.
Why: the subject is the doer. English would say "they come," never "them come" — and that instinct is correct in Swedish too. If the pronoun is launching the verb, it is de.
Error 2: object written as de
The mirror error. De shows up receiving the action or sitting after a preposition, where "them" belongs.
❌ Jag såg de igår.
Incorrect — 'I saw them' is an object; use dem.
✅ Jag såg dem igår.
I saw them yesterday — object → dem.
❌ Vi pratade med de hela kvällen.
Incorrect — after the preposition 'med' you need the object form dem.
✅ Vi pratade med dem hela kvällen.
We talked with them all evening — preposition + object → dem.
Why: objects and prepositional complements take the object form. English again agrees: "I saw them," "with them," never "I saw they." Whenever the pronoun is on the receiving end — direct object, indirect object, or after a preposition — it is dem.
The substitution test: swap in han / honom
When you genuinely can't feel it (and even natives can't, because dom erases the clue), use a pronoun that does keep the distinction even in speech: han / honom ("he / him"). Swap the troublesome de/dem for a singular and listen for which sounds right:
- If han ("he") fits → the slot is a subject → write de.
- If honom ("him") fits → the slot is an object → write dem.
De / Dem kommer imorgon → 'Han kommer imorgon' (not 'honom kommer').
'He comes' works, 'him comes' doesn't → subject → de. So: De kommer imorgon.
Jag såg de / dem → 'Jag såg honom' (not 'jag såg han').
'I saw him' works → object → dem. So: Jag såg dem.
Error 3: the cleft trap (Det var de som...)
Clefts — Det var ... som ... ("It was ... who/that ...") — fool people because de/dem sits right after var, which feels like an object slot. But in a cleft the pronoun is the subject of the relative clause (it does the som-verb), so it is de.
❌ Det var dem som ringde.
Incorrect — the pronoun is the subject of 'som ringde' (they rang), so it must be de.
✅ Det var de som ringde.
It was they who called — subject of the relative clause → de.
❌ Det är dem som bestämmer här.
Incorrect — 'who decide' makes the pronoun a subject → de.
✅ Det är de som bestämmer här.
They're the ones who decide here.
Why: look past Det var to the som-clause. The pronoun is whatever does the verb after som. ...som ringde — they rang — so the pronoun is a subject, hence de. The substitution test confirms it: Det var *han som ringde ("it was *he who called"), not honom. English even matches in careful register: "it was they who called." This is the case where the spoken dom habit does the most damage, because the form looks like it should be an object but isn't.
The dom question — is it ever correct?
In casual writing — texts, chat, informal fiction dialogue — many Swedes write dom for both, deliberately, to mirror speech. That is a recognised informal choice, not the same as the de/dem mix-up. (informal) Dom kommer imorgon och jag bjöd in dom. But in any formal or neutral register — essays, news, work email — the de/dem split is expected, and dom reads as careless. So the rule of thumb: if you're writing dom, write it for both; if you're writing de, you must also get dem right. The mistake to avoid is mixing — dom in one slot and a wrong de/dem in the next.
De bjöd in oss, så vi tackade dem med en present.
They invited us, so we thanked them with a gift. Subject de, object dem — the full neutral-register pattern.
Common Mistakes
❌ Dem är mina bästa vänner.
Incorrect — 'they are' is a subject; use de.
✅ De är mina bästa vänner.
They are my best friends.
❌ Jag gav de en bok var.
Incorrect — 'gave them' is an (indirect) object; use dem.
✅ Jag gav dem en bok var.
I gave them a book each.
❌ Det var dem som vann.
Incorrect — subject of 'som vann' (they won) → de.
✅ Det var de som vann.
It was they who won.
❌ Han bjöd de på middag.
Incorrect — object after 'bjöd ... på' → dem (test: bjöd honom, not bjöd han).
✅ Han bjöd dem på middag.
He treated them to dinner.
❌ Utan de hade vi förlorat, och dem räddade matchen.
Incorrect on both — 'utan' takes the object dem, and 'räddade' has a subject (de). Test each pronoun separately.
✅ Utan dem hade vi förlorat — de räddade matchen.
Without them we'd have lost — they saved the match. dem (after preposition), de (subject).
Key Takeaways
- de = they (subject, the doer); dem = them (object, the receiver, and after prepositions). It is the same split as English they/them.
- Both are pronounced dom, which is why even natives mix them — the spoken form gives no clue, so you must reason it out in writing.
- Substitution test: swap in han (→ write de) or honom (→ write dem); these singulars keep the distinction aloud where de/dem collapse.
- Clefts (Det var de som...) take de, because the pronoun is the subject of the som-clause — a frequent trap.
- dom is acceptable in casual writing, but use it for both or for neither; mixing dom with a wrong de/dem is the worst of both worlds.
Now practice Swedish
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Start learning Swedish→Related Topics
- de vs dem vs dom: The Great DebateB1 — Sweden's single most argued-about grammar point: de is the subject 'they', dem is the object 'them', but in speech BOTH are pronounced 'dom' — which is why even native writers mix them up. The reliable fix is the han/honom test: if 'he' fits, write de; if 'him' fits, write dem. This page gives you the test, the spoken dom, and the ongoing reform debate.
- Subject PronounsA1 — The Swedish subject personal pronouns — jag, du, han, hon, hen, den, det, man, vi, ni, de — including that de is pronounced (and often spelled) 'dom', that hen is the standard gender-neutral pronoun, and that den/det are the inanimate 'it' chosen by gender. Because Swedish verbs don't conjugate, the pronoun carries all the person information.
- Object PronounsA1 — The Swedish object personal pronouns — mig, dig, honom, henne, hen, den, det, en, oss, er, dem — used after verbs and after prepositions. Includes the spoken forms (mig/dig/sig = mej/dej/sej, dem = 'dom') and why the spoken collapse of de and dem makes the written distinction hard even for natives.
- Spoken Reductions (dom, nån, sån, va)A2 — The single most important listening skill in Swedish: real speech is full of reduced forms that the written language hides. 'De' and 'dem' are both said 'dom'; 'någon' becomes 'nån', 'sådan' becomes 'sån', 'mig/dig/sig' become 'mej/dej/sej', 'sade' becomes 'sa', and both 'och' and 'att' shrink to a tiny 'å'. These are not regional or sloppy — they are how all Swedes speak — so the tidy written forms you learned are essentially never heard out loud.