de vs dem vs dom: The Great Debate

No grammar point is argued about more in Sweden than the choice between de and dem. The rule itself is simple — de is the subject form ("they"), dem is the object form ("them") — and it maps perfectly onto English they vs them. The trouble is that in modern speech both words are pronounced exactly the same: like dom. Because the ear gives no clue, even highly educated native writers guess wrong, and the mistake is so common that there is a serious ongoing campaign to abolish the distinction entirely and let everyone just write dom. This page hands you the one test that resolves it every time, explains the spoken form, and lays out where the debate stands.

The core rule: subject vs object

The distinction is grammatical case, the same one English keeps in its pronouns:

• de = the subject — the one doing the action ("they"). Equivalent to English they, we, he, she as subjects.
• dem = the object — the one receiving the action, or the object of a preposition ("them"). Equivalent to English them, him, us.

If you speak English, you already own this distinction. You would never write "Them live here" or "I know they" — your ear catches it. The whole problem in Swedish is that your ear is no help, because both sound like dom. So you have to make the decision on paper, deliberately.

The han/honom test — the fix natives actually use

Here is the trick that resolves every single case, and that even careful native writers fall back on. Swedish still pronounces han ("he") and honom ("him") differently, so your ear can tell them apart. Replace the de/dem with a singular pronoun:

If han ("he") fits → write de. If honom ("him") fits → write dem.

Test it on a sentence where you're unsure:

The reason this works is that han/honom is the exact same subject/object split as de/dem, just on a pronoun your ear hasn't merged yet. You are borrowing the distinction your ear still keeps and transferring it to the one it has lost.

Why even natives get it wrong

It is worth understanding why this is hard, because it tells you where the traps are. In older Swedish, de and dem were pronounced differently — de roughly as dee and dem as demm. Over the twentieth century, spoken Swedish collapsed both into a single sound, dom, in almost all of the country. So a whole generation grew up hearing one word but being told to write two.

Crucially, de also does double duty: it is both the pronoun "they" and the front article in double definiteness (de stora husen, "the big houses"). That article is also pronounced dom in speech. So the spelling de covers two functions, neither of which sounds like its spelling — a perfect recipe for confusion.

The most common direction of error among natives is over-using dem — writing dem where de belongs, because dem "looks more careful." This is hypercorrection: people who know there's a rule but not what it is reach for the fancier-looking form.

The spoken (and informal written) form: dom

In speech, you do not pronounce de or dem as written — you say dom, for every function: subject, object, and article.

Because of this, dom has become an accepted spelling in informal writing — text messages, chat, casual social media, dialogue in novels to capture a speaking voice, song lyrics. It is unambiguous (no subject/object decision to get wrong) and it matches how people actually talk.

But — and this is the load-bearing point — dom is (informal). In school essays, formal letters, news articles, academic writing, and professional emails, the standard remains de and dem. Writing dom in a job application or university paper reads as either careless or deliberately provocative.

The reform debate

The reason this is called "the great debate" is that there's a genuine, ongoing public argument about whether Sweden should officially adopt dom in writing and retire de/dem altogether. Prominent linguists and language commentators have argued that since the spoken language merged the forms decades ago, and since even professional writers can't keep them straight, the written distinction is an artificial burden that should be dropped — exactly as Norwegian and Danish writing handles their equivalents more loosely.

Opponents argue that de/dem is still the standard in all edited prose, that the case distinction aids clarity, and that abandoning it would be a sharp break with the entire existing body of Swedish text.

For a learner, the practical takeaway is twofold: (1) Learn de/dem properly with the han/honom test, because it is the standard you will be graded and judged on today. (2) Recognise dom when you read it, and know it's a legitimate informal choice — and quite possibly the future standard.

Common Mistakes

Key Takeaways

• de = subject ("they"); dem = object ("them"). Same split as English they / them.
• Both are pronounced dom in speech — that's why even natives mix them up in writing.
• The fix: swap in han vs honom. "He" fits → de. "Him" fits → dem. Use this every time you're unsure.
• The article in double definiteness (de stora husen) is always de, never dem.
• dom is an accepted (informal) spelling for speech-like writing, but de/dem remains standard in all formal text — and is what you'll be judged on. The reform debate means dom may one day win, but that day is not today.