주다 · 받다 · 드리다 · 주시다: The Direction-and-Status System

English has one workhorse verb for handing something over: give. It doesn't care who gives or who receives — the president gives, the toddler gives, all with the same word. Korean refuses this neutrality. Before you can say "give," you must know who outranks whom, because the verb itself carries that information. There are four verbs to sort out — 주다, 받다, 드리다, 주시다 — and they fall into a clean 2×2 grid crossing two questions: which direction does the thing move (give vs receive), and what is the social status of the giver relative to me.

The grid

Think of it as two axes. The first axis is direction: giving out (주다-family) versus receiving in (받다). The second axis, which only splits the giving side, is status: is the gift moving toward someone higher (I give up) or from someone higher (a superior gives down to me)?

The key realization: 주다 is not the neutral default that also covers polite giving. It is specifically the unmarked, peer-or-downward give. The moment a status difference enters — me giving up, or a senior giving down — you must switch verbs. Korean makes you encode the social vector every time.

주다: the plain give (outward, peer or down)

Use 주다 when you give to an equal or a junior, or when a peer gives to you. No status is being marked.

드리다: I give upward (humble)

When you give to someone senior — a grandparent, a boss, a teacher — you switch from 주다 to the humble 드리다. The verb lowers your own act of giving, which is how the recipient is honored. This is the same humble 드리다 that powers 잘 부탁드립니다.

Notice what happened to the particle. It is no longer 한테 but 께 — the honorific dative. Which brings us to the hidden second half of this system.

The dative shifts with the verb: 한테/에게 → 께

Choosing the honored verb is only half the job. The particle marking the recipient (or the honored giver) also upgrades:

So "I give to Grandpa" is 할아버지께 드려요, not ×할아버지한테 줘요 — both the verb and the particle move up together. For the honorific dative particle, see 께, the honorific 'to'; for the humble giving verb, see 드리다.

주시다: a superior gives to me (honorific)

When the gift flows the other way — a senior gives to you — you mark it with 주시다, which is 주다 plus the subject-honorific -(으)시-. Here you're not humbling yourself; you're honoring the giver, who is the sentence's subject. That giver typically takes the honorific subject particle 께서.

One practical note: because 주시다's present form 주세요 collides with the imperative "please give," speakers usually pin down "a superior gives/gave me…" in the past (주셨어요) to avoid ambiguity. Present-tense honorific giving is more often expressed with an explicit context or the past.

받다: receive (status-neutral, but the source can be honored)

받다 covers all receiving — the thing flows toward the receiver — and unlike the giving verbs it does not change form for status. There is no separate humble "receive." What can change is the marking on the source: an honored giver still takes 께.

Preview: 드리다 as a benefactive helper

The same three giving verbs reappear as auxiliaries meaning "do something for someone" — plain -아/어 주다 for peers, humble -아/어 드리다 upward. This is where you'll meet 드리다 most often:

The full benefactive system — doing favors up, down, and sideways — is its own topic: see -아/어 주다, the benefactive. For now, just register that the direction-and-status logic you learned for literal giving carries straight over to doing things for people.

Common Mistakes

1. Using plain 주다 when giving upward. The signature error. Giving to a grandparent, boss, or teacher requires humble 드리다, not 주다.

2. Keeping 한테 when the recipient is honored. Even if you remember to switch to 드리다, forgetting to upgrade 한테 → 께 leaves the sentence half-honorific.

3. Using 주시다 for your own giving. 주시다 honors the subject/giver. If you are the giver, honoring yourself is wrong — you humble yourself with 드리다 instead. ×제가 할머니께 주셨어요 self-honorifies.

4. Using 드리다 when a superior gives to you. 드리다 is only for you giving up. When a senior gives down to you, the verb is 주시다, not 드리다.

Key Takeaways

• Korean has no neutral "give." The verb encodes a social vector: 주다 (peer/downward), 드리다 (I give up — humble), 주시다 (superior gives down — honorific). 받다 covers all receiving and doesn't change for status.
• Pick by two questions: direction (give/receive) and is a superior on the giving end (me up → 드리다; superior down → 주시다).
• The dative particle rides along: 한테/에게 → 께 for an honored recipient or source; the honored giver-subject takes 께서.
• 드리다 humbles the giver (you); 주시다 honors the giver (them). Never use 주시다 for your own giving, and never use 드리다 for what a superior gives you.
• Use the past 주셨어요 to say "a superior gave me…," since present 주세요 collides with the imperative "please give."