〜なさい: The Softened Command

Between the blunt plain imperative (食べろ) and the polite request (食べてください) sits 〜なさい — the command a parent gives a child or a teacher gives a class. It is firm but caring: gentler than 食べろ, unmistakably an order, and always flowing downward from someone with authority to someone under it. That last point is the whole personality of なさい, so it's the thread we'll pull throughout this page.

How to form it

Take the ます-stem (the ます-form minus ます) and add なさい. There are no irregular imperatives to memorize here — once you have the ます-stem, the rest is automatic.

Dictionaryます-formます-stem
  • なさい
食べる食べます食べ食べなさい (tabenasai)
聞く聞きます聞き聞きなさい (kikinasai)
洗う洗います洗い洗いなさい (arainasai)
答える答えます答え答えなさい (kotaenasai)
するしますしなさい (shinasai)
来る来ます来なさい (kinasai)

Notice that even the two irregular verbs are tame here: する → しなさい, 来る → 来なさい (read kinasai), both straight off the ます-stem.

ごはんの前に、手を洗いなさい。

gohan no mae ni, te o arainasai

Wash your hands before dinner.

宿題をしなさい。ゲームはそのあと。

shukudai o shinasai. gēmu wa sono ato

Do your homework. Games come after.

先生の話をちゃんと聞きなさい。

sensei no hanashi o chanto kikinasai

Listen properly to what the teacher is saying.

Why it's gentle but still a command: the origin

なさい is not random. It's the imperative of なさる, the honorific (尊敬語) verb for "do." So historically it's an honorific-rooted command — which explains the paradox: it carries a residue of respect that makes it far softer than しろ, yet it's still an imperative, so it still tells someone what to do. The result is exactly the tone a caring parent uses: warm, but not up for negotiation.

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Three tiers of "do X," from harsh to caring to deferential: 食べ (blunt order) → 食べなさい (a parent's firm "eat up") → 食べてください (polite "please eat"). なさい sits in the middle — softer than the plain imperative, but it still points downward.

The core rule: なさい points downward

This is the single fact that governs when you may use it. なさい presumes the speaker outranks the listener. It is natural in exactly these relationships:

  • Adult → child (parent, relative, any grown-up to a kid)
  • Teacher → pupil
  • Test rubrics and instructions, where the exam "outranks" the taker

もう九時だよ。早く寝なさい。

mō ku-ji da yo. hayaku nenasai

It's already nine. Go to bed now.

次の質問に日本語で答えなさい。

tsugi no shitsumon ni nihongo de kotaenasai

Answer the following questions in Japanese. (exam instruction)

出かける前に、歯を磨きなさい。

dekakeru mae ni, ha o migakinasai

Brush your teeth before you go out.

Because the ranking is built into the form, you cannot aim it upward or sideways. Saying なさい to your boss, a customer, a teacher, or even a friend of equal standing is condescending — you'd be casting yourself as the authority over them. The tone is gentle, but the relationship it encodes is never egalitarian.

この問題について、自分でよく考えなさい。

kono mondai ni tsuite, jibun de yoku kangaenasai

Think this problem over carefully on your own. (teacher to student)

The homograph trap: 食べな vs. 食べるな

In casual speech, なさい often clips to a bare 〜な: 食べなさい → 食べな, 早くしなさい → 早くしな. This softened, affectionate 〜な attaches to the ます-stem and means "go on, do it."

The danger: there is a completely different 〜な — the prohibitive — that attaches to the dictionary form and means "don't." Same syllable, opposite meaning. The verb form it clings to is your only clue:

早く食べな。冷めるよ。

hayaku tabena. sameru yo

Go on and eat up. It's getting cold. (soft command, from 食べなさい)

そんなに急いで食べるな。のどに詰まるよ。

sonna ni isoide taberu na. nodo ni tsumaru yo

Don't eat in such a hurry. You'll choke. (prohibitive, from 食べる)

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ます-stem + な = "do it" (clipped 食べ from 食べなさい). Dictionary form + な = "don't" (食べる). The tell is what the な is glued to: 食べな (stem) urges you to eat; 食べるな (dictionary) forbids it.

なさい is hiding in everyday set phrases

Once you know なさい is the imperative of the honorific なさる, some of the most common expressions in the language suddenly make sense. Several fixed greetings are frozen なさい commands — imperatives so worn-in that speakers no longer feel them as orders at all.

PhraseLiterallyEveryday meaning
おやすみなさい"(please) rest"Good night.
お帰りなさい"(please) come back / return"Welcome home.
ごめんなさい"(please) pardon"I'm sorry.

もう遅いから、おやすみなさい。

mō osoi kara, o-yasumi nasai

It's late, so good night.

「ただいま。」「あ、お帰りなさい。」

'tadaima.' 'a, o-kaeri nasai'

'I'm home.' 'Oh, welcome back.'

This is why these phrases feel so warm despite being grammatical commands: they inherit the caring, honorific texture of なさる. It also explains a spelling clue — you'll often see them written with the polite お〜 prefix (お休みなさい, お帰りなさい), the same prefix that dresses up other courteous language.

Comparison with English

English marks a parent's or teacher's command with word choice and tone — "Eat your vegetables," "Answer all the questions" — but the grammar itself is the same bare imperative you'd use with anyone. Japanese does something English can't: なさい grammatically encodes the downward direction of the command. Choosing it is already a statement that the speaker stands above the listener. That's why you can't simply swap it in for 〜てください: ください (itself the imperative of the honorific くださる) is the courteous, respectful request you make of equals and superiors, while なさい is the authoritative, caring command you give those below you. The two aren't ruder-and-politer versions of one thing — they point in opposite social directions.

Common mistakes

❌ 部長、こちらの資料を確認しなさい。

buchō, kochira no shiryō o kakunin shinasai

Incorrect: なさい points downward, so ordering your boss with it is condescending.

✅ 部長、こちらの資料をご確認ください。

buchō, kochira no shiryō o go-kakunin kudasai

Correct: to a superior, use a polite request (ご〜ください).

❌ 早く食べるなさい。

hayaku taberu nasai

Incorrect: なさい attaches to the ます-stem, not the dictionary form.

✅ 早く食べなさい。

hayaku tabenasai

Correct: 食べます → 食べ + なさい.

❌ 友達に「宿題を手伝いなさい」と頼んだ。

tomodachi ni 'shukudai o tetsudainasai' to tanonda

Incorrect: to a friend (an equal), なさい sounds bossy and condescending.

✅ 友達に「宿題を手伝ってくれない?」と頼んだ。

tomodachi ni 'shukudai o tetsudatte kurenai?' to tanonda

Correct: ask an equal with a soft favor request, not なさい.

❌ もう食べな。

mō tabena

Incorrect if you mean 'don't eat anymore' — clipped 〜な on the stem means 'go ahead and eat,' the opposite.

✅ もう食べるな。

mō taberu na

Correct: 'don't eat anymore' is the prohibitive — dictionary form + な.

Key takeaways

  • ます-stem
    • なさい
    : 食べなさい, 聞きなさい, しなさい, 来なさい (kinasai) — no irregular imperatives.
  • なさい is the imperative of the honorific なさる, which is why it's firm but caring, softer than 食べろ.
  • It flows strictly downward: adult→child, teacher→pupil, exam→taker. Never aim it at superiors or peers.
  • Casual clipped 食べ (stem) = "do it"; but dictionary-form 食べる is the prohibitive "don't." Watch what the な attaches to.
  • For requests to equals or superiors, use the respectful 〜てください, not なさい.

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Related Topics

  • The Plain Imperative 〜ろ / 〜えN4How to form the blunt plain-imperative 命令形 and — more importantly — where it actually lives: signs, sports, orders, and anger.
  • The Prohibitive 〜な: Don'tN4How dictionary form + な forms the blunt negative command 'don't,' why it is nearly the opposite of the encouraging masu-stem + な, and when to soften it to 〜ないで.
  • 丁寧語 Overview: です・ます PolitenessN4丁寧語 is the one keigo axis aimed at the listener — the です・ます courtesy layer that makes speech acceptable to someone you don't treat casually, independent of any respect you show the people you describe.
  • The ます-Stem (連用形)N4Why the い-row stem that ます rides on is a workhorse in its own right — a noun-maker, a verb-compounder, and the base of 〜に行く for purpose.
  • 〜てください: Polite Requests & InstructionsN4How to ask someone to do something with te-form + ください — the standard polite request and instruction — plus why it directs rather than defers, and the keigo forms that outrank it.