A natural Indonesian request balances three things: what action is wanted, how burdensome it is, and what relationship permits the speaker to presume. Tolong is useful, but it is not a universal translation of “please.” A question with bisa or boleh, an address form, a short reason, or an explicit way to decline can matter more than any lexical softener.
This page focuses on pragmatic choice across social situations. For the basic word order of request frames, see requests with tolong, coba, boleh, and bisa.
Start with burden, status, and entitlement
Before choosing a frame, assess the request:
| Situation | Typical design | Why |
|---|---|---|
| small expected action among intimates | direct action + ya/dong | shared familiarity licenses directness |
| ordinary favor between peers | boleh/bisa question or tolong | recognizes choice without ceremony |
| request to a stranger or service worker | permisi
| opens contact and identifies the addressee respectfully |
| large or upward request | address + reason + possibility + exact burden | shows awareness of competing obligations |
| official written request | mohon / kami mohon bantuan | fits institutional register |
Geser sedikit, ya; aku tidak bisa melihat layarnya.
Move over a little, okay? I can’t see the screen. (close peer; informal)
Bisa bantu saya membawa kotak ini sampai ke lift?
Could you help me carry this box to the elevator?
Permisi, Pak, apakah antreannya dimulai dari sini?
Excuse me, sir, does the line start here?
Kalau Ibu ada waktu, bolehkah saya berkonsultasi sekitar lima belas menit setelah kelas?
If you have time, may I consult with you for about fifteen minutes after class, ma’am?
The last version states the duration, which makes the burden measurable. Indirectness works best when paired with useful information, not empty ceremonial language.
Tolong: clear help, not automatic deference
Tolong + action directly asks the listener to help by performing that action. It is natural for ordinary requests, instructions in a cooperative setting, and urgent needs. Status and delivery determine whether it feels considerate or commanding.
Tolong pegang tas ini sementara saya melipat kursinya.
Please hold this bag while I fold the chair.
Tolong kabari saya kalau jadwal penerbangannya berubah.
Please let me know if the flight schedule changes.
Tolong panggil petugas medis sekarang; orang ini sulit bernapas.
Please call a medical officer now; this person is having trouble breathing.
Bu Nita, tolong periksa angka pada kolom terakhir sebelum berkas ini dikirim.
Ms. Nita, please check the number in the last column before this file is sent.
The emergency licenses directness. The office request may be appropriate from a colleague or supervisor, but upward to a senior it can need bisa tolong or mohon. Repeating tolong does not repair a relationship mismatch.
Minta: requesting an item, service, or assistance
Minta means “ask for/request.” It takes the thing or service desired: minta air, minta penjelasan, minta waktu. Minta tolong explicitly asks for help. In service encounters, boleh minta ...? is compact and courteous.
Mbak, boleh minta segelas air tanpa es?
Miss, may I have a glass of water without ice?
Saya ingin meminta penjelasan tentang biaya tambahan ini.
I’d like to ask for an explanation of this additional charge.
Pak, saya mau minta tolong memindahkan jadwal pemeriksaan.
Sir, I’d like to ask for help rescheduling the examination.
Boleh minta kuitansi yang mencantumkan nomor pajak perusahaan?
May I have a receipt showing the company’s tax number?
Casual mau minta is natural in speech; ingin meminta is more suitable in careful or formal language. Mohon often replaces it in highly institutional requests.
Bisa and boleh assign different roles
Bisa + listener action? asks whether compliance is possible. Boleh + speaker action? asks permission for the speaker. The literal meanings remain active even when both are polite questions.
Mas, bisa tunjukkan arah ke Jalan Cendana?
Could you show me the way to Cendana Street?
Boleh saya melihat peta di ponsel Mas sebentar?
May I look at the map on your phone for a moment?
Apakah Bapak bisa membantu melacak status permohonan saya?
Would you be able to help track my application status, sir? (formal)
Bolehkah kami menyerahkan dokumen pendukungnya besok pagi?
May we submit the supporting documents tomorrow morning? (neutral-formal)
An ability question can receive a literal answer if the context is unclear. State the action and, for a large favor, the timing.
Bu, apakah Ibu bisa membaca draf ini sebelum pukul dua besok?
Ma’am, would you be able to read this draft before two tomorrow?
Coba makes an action exploratory
Before a verb, coba invites someone to try, inspect, or consider something. It is useful for troubleshooting and suggestions. A teacher or supervisor can also use it in an instruction, so it is not inherently deferential.
Coba tekan tombol biru itu sekali lagi.
Try pressing that blue button once more.
Coba tanyakan kepada resepsionis apakah ada kamar yang lebih tenang.
Try asking the receptionist whether there is a quieter room.
Pak, bisa coba periksa apakah nama saya sudah terdaftar?
Sir, could you check whether my name is already registered?
Coba kamu rapikan bagian kesimpulannya sebelum dikumpulkan.
Try tidying the conclusion before submitting it. (teacher to familiar student; neutral/informal)
The last sentence would not be an upward request to a professor: coba plus explicit kamu reflects an asymmetrical or familiar relationship.
Dong spends familiarity
Dong (informal) presents compliance as something reasonable within shared common ground. It can make a peer request warm or coaxing, but it can also increase pressure. Do not use it to manufacture intimacy with an official or unfamiliar elder.
Pinjamkan pulpennya dong; punyaku kehabisan tinta.
Lend me your pen, please; mine has run out of ink. (close peer; informal)
Temani aku ke halte dong, sudah malam.
Come with me to the bus stop, please; it’s already late. (close peer; informal)
Balas sebelum makan siang, ya. Jangan sore-sore dong.
Reply before lunch, okay—not late in the afternoon, please. (familiar insistence; informal)
For strangers and institutional settings, choose a neutral address and indirect frame instead.
Grading four common requests
Borrowing a pen
Dek, pinjam pulpennya sebentar, ya.
Hey, lend me your pen for a moment, okay? (to a younger sibling; informal)
Permisi, boleh saya meminjam pulpen Bapak sebentar untuk mengisi formulir ini?
Excuse me, may I borrow your pen briefly to complete this form, sir? (to a stranger)
Asking for directions
Permisi, Mbak, bisa tunjukkan jalan ke pintu keluar utara?
Excuse me, could you show me the way to the north exit?
Maaf mengganggu, apakah Bapak tahu bus mana yang menuju pusat kota?
Sorry to bother you; do you know which bus goes downtown, sir?
Requesting a deadline extension
State the reason without turning the request into an assumption. Offer a concrete new deadline.
Bu, maaf, saya sedang sakit. Kalau memungkinkan, bolehkah saya mengumpulkan tugas ini hari Senin?
Ma’am, I’m sorry, I’m ill. If possible, may I submit this assignment on Monday?
Saya memahami batas waktunya, Pak. Namun, bolehkah saya meminta perpanjangan satu hari karena data baru tiba tadi pagi?
I understand the deadline, sir. However, may I request a one-day extension because the data arrived only this morning? (formal)
Requesting official help
Mohon bantuan Ibu untuk memeriksa apakah dokumen ini sudah memenuhi persyaratan.
I respectfully ask for your help checking whether this document meets the requirements. (formal)
Jika memungkinkan, kami mohon agar Bapak menerbitkan surat keterangan tersebut sebelum tanggal sepuluh.
If possible, we respectfully request that you issue the certificate before the tenth. (formal)
Give a reason and an exit without overexplaining
A brief reason makes a nonroutine request intelligible. An exit such as kalau sempat or kalau memungkinkan recognizes the listener’s autonomy. It must be genuine: adding “if possible” while demanding immediate compliance sends conflicting signals.
Kalau sempat sore ini, bisa lihat dua halaman terakhirnya?
If you have time this afternoon, could you look at the last two pages?
Kalau hari ini terlalu sibuk, besok pagi juga tidak masalah.
If today is too busy, tomorrow morning is fine too.
Terima kasih sudah mempertimbangkan permintaan saya, Bu.
Thank you for considering my request, ma’am.
Common Mistakes
1. Using Tolong + imperative in every relationship
❌ Pak Rektor, tolong ubah keputusan ini sekarang.
Too direct for an ordinary upward institutional request.
✅ Pak Rektor, kami mohon kesediaan Bapak untuk meninjau kembali keputusan ini.
Rector, we respectfully ask you to reconsider this decision. (formal)
2. Confusing permission with listener action
❌ Boleh saya membawa koper ini?
Wrong for the intended request that the listener carry the suitcase; this asks permission for the speaker to carry it.
✅ Bisa tolong bawakan koper ini sampai ke mobil?
Could you please carry this suitcase to the car?
3. Using dong with an unfamiliar official
❌ Bu, proses permohonan saya dipercepat dong.
Presumptuous in a routine official encounter; dong claims familiarity and expected compliance.
✅ Bu, apakah proses permohonan ini mungkin dipercepat?
Ma’am, would it be possible to expedite this application?
4. Hiding a large burden behind a tiny question
❌ Saya berkata “Bisa bantu sebentar?” padahal pekerjaan itu memerlukan tiga hari.
Misleading — sebentar understates a three-day commitment.
✅ Apakah kamu bersedia membantu selama tiga hari minggu depan?
Would you be willing to help for three days next week?
5. Stacking softeners mechanically
❌ Permisi, maaf, tolong, coba, bisa bantu saya mungkin?
Overloaded and unfocused — each softener adds a different meaning.
✅ Permisi, Mas, bisa bantu saya mencari alamat ini?
Excuse me, could you help me find this address?
Key Takeaways
- Calibrate a request to burden, relationship, status, and entitlement.
- Tolong directly requests help; minta names a requested item or service.
- Bisa asks about the listener’s action; boleh seeks permission for the speaker’s action.
- Coba makes an action exploratory, while dong spends existing familiarity (informal).
- For substantial requests, add a concise reason, exact burden, and genuine path to decline.
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Start learning Indonesian →Related Topics
- How Indonesian Politeness Is Grammatically BuiltA2 — Build appropriate Indonesian utterances through address, omission, indirectness, particles, delivery, and reciprocal attention rather than one magic polite word.
- Requests with tolong, coba, boleh, and bisaA2 — Build Indonesian requests by combining direct softeners, permission or ability questions, address forms, and appropriate indirectness.
- dong: Expected Compliance and Friendly InsistenceB1 — Use dong to frame a request, reaction, or encouragement as a response that should feel mutually reasonable.
- boleh: Permission and AcceptabilityA1 — Use boleh to grant or request permission, judge an option acceptable, and recognize the fixed possibility expression boleh jadi.
- bisa: Ability and PossibilityA1 — Use bisa for learned ability, situational feasibility, possibility, and pragmatic permission while recognizing its noun homonym meaning venom.
- Professional and Religious Titles as PronounsB2 — Use professional, religious, and office titles as grammatical person forms while respecting institutional norms and EYD V capitalization.