The reflexive middle folds an action back onto the subject: πλένομαι, "I wash myself." The same -ομαι ending can also fold an action between two parties — and then it means "each other." Αγκαλιάζονται is "they hug each other," τσακώνονται is "they have a row with each other," δεν μιλιούνται is "they're not on speaking terms." English needs a two-word phrase, each other or one another; Greek folds the whole idea into the verb's ending.
The thing to get straight from the start — and the thing most courses get wrong — is what the reciprocal actually requires. It is not a plural subject.
Two parties, not a plural subject
A reciprocal action needs two sides. Greek gives you two ways to supply them, and both are completely ordinary:
- A plural subject — the two sides are inside one noun phrase: Ο Νίκος και η Μαρία συναντιούνται, τα παιδιά αγκαλιάζονται.
- A singular subject + με + the other party — the second side is named separately: Συναντιέμαι με τη Μαρία, Τσακώθηκα με τον αδερφό μου.
Route 2 is not a fringe option; in daily speech it is at least as common as route 1, because most of the time you are talking about yourself and one other person. If you cannot use it, you cannot say "I'm meeting Maria tomorrow."
Ο Νίκος και η αδερφή του τσακώνονται για το παραμικρό.
o Níkos ke i adherfí tu tsakónonde ya to paramikró
Nikos and his sister squabble with each other over the slightest thing.
Στο αεροδρόμιο αγκαλιάστηκαν σφιχτά και δεν έλεγαν να χωρίσουν.
sto aerodhrómio angaliástikan sfichtá ke dhen éleghan na chorísun
At the airport they hugged each other tightly and wouldn't let go.
Συναντιέμαι με τον δικηγόρο μου τη Δευτέρα το πρωί.
sinandiéme me ton dhikighóro mu ti Dheftéra to proí
I'm meeting my lawyer on Monday morning.
Φιλιέται με την κοπέλα του στη στάση σαν να μην τους βλέπει κανείς.
filiéte me tin kopéla tu sti stási san na min tus vlépi kanís
He's kissing his girlfriend at the bus stop as if nobody could see them.
Τσακώθηκα με τον αδερφό μου για μια βλακεία και δεν μιλιόμαστε βδομάδες.
tsakóthika me ton adherfó mu ya mia vlakía ke dhen miliómaste vdhomádhes
I had a row with my brother over something stupid and we haven't spoken for weeks.
There is a third shape, halfway between the two, and it is very Greek: put με + the other person at the front and leave the verb in the 1st plural anyway. The subject is understood as the two of us, and English has to restructure it as "X and I."
Με τον Στέλιο γνωριζόμαστε από τον στρατό.
me ton Stélio ghnorizómaste apó ton strató
Stelios and I have known each other since our army days.
The everyday reciprocal middles
These are the verbs that actually carry this meaning day to day. Note that several are -άω verbs, so their reciprocal surfaces in the distinctive -ιούνται ending.
| Active | Reciprocal middle (3pl) | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| αγαπάω | αγαπιούνται | they love each other |
| φιλάω | φιλιούνται | they kiss |
| συναντάω | συναντιούνται | they meet up |
| χαιρετάω | χαιρετιούνται | they greet each other |
| μιλάω | δεν μιλιούνται | they're not on speaking terms |
| αγκαλιάζω | αγκαλιάζονται | they hug |
| βλέπω | βλέπονται | they see each other, they're in touch |
| γνωρίζω | γνωρίζονται / γνωρίστηκαν | they know each other / they met |
| τσακώνω (catch, nab) | τσακώνονται | they quarrel, they have a row |
Two entries deserve a note. τσακώνομαι is the everyday verb for having a row — far more frequent in speech than any bookish alternative — and its active twin τσακώνω means something unrelated ("to nab, catch red-handed"), so treat τσακώνομαι as a word in its own right. μιλιέμαι is not the verb for "have a conversation" — that is μιλάνε, usually with μεταξύ τους. μιλιέμαι reports the state of the relationship: whether two people are on speaking terms at all. That is why the negative δεν μιλιούνται / δεν μιλιόμαστε is far the commonest shape, with the positive kept for the moment the freeze breaks — Τώρα μιλιούνται πάλι. (The same verb has a third, unrelated life as an ordinary passive of languages: Η ποντιακή μιλιέται ακόμα σε λίγα χωριά.)
Δεν μιλιούνται εδώ και δύο χρόνια, από τότε που μοίρασαν το χωράφι.
dhen miliúnde edhó ke dhío chrónia, apó tóte pu mírasan to choráfi
They haven't been on speaking terms for two years, ever since they divided up the field.
Με τον ξάδερφό μου βλεπόμαστε μόνο στους γάμους και στις κηδείες.
me ton ksádherfó mu vlepómaste móno stus ghámus ke stis kidhíes
My cousin and I only see each other at weddings and funerals.
Τσακώνομαι με τη γειτόνισσα κάθε φορά που παρκάρει μπροστά στην πόρτα μου.
tsakónome me ti yitónisa káthe forá pu parkári brostá stin pórta mu
I have a row with my neighbour every time she parks in front of my door.
Where that -ι- glide comes from, and why -ιού- counts as a single syllable rather than two (the ι is a glide fused onto the following vowel, not a vowel of its own), is the business of the -ιέμαι mediopassive.
Pinning it down: μεταξύ τους and ο ένας τον άλλον
Sometimes the verb alone leaves room for doubt, or you simply want the mutuality stressed. Greek has two devices for that, and they are not interchangeable.
μεταξύ τους ("among themselves, between them") is the everyday one — standard, high-frequency, at home in speech and in writing. It says the action stays inside the group, without claiming who did what to whom. It takes a weak genitive clitic (μεταξύ μας / σας / τους — only the plurals, since "among" needs more than one), one of the small set of prepositions that govern the genitive.
Στο διάλειμμα τα παιδιά μιλάνε μεταξύ τους και μας αγνοούν εντελώς.
sto dhiálima ta pedhiá miláne metaksí tus ke mas aghnoún endelós
At break the kids talk among themselves and ignore us completely.
Δεν τα πάνε καλά μεταξύ τους από τότε που δούλεψαν μαζί.
dhen ta páne kalá metaksí tus apó tóte pu dhúlepsan mazí
They haven't got on with each other since they worked together.
ο ένας τον άλλον is the precise one: it makes the pairing explicit, one party to the other. Its shape is the whole point. The first half echoes the subject and therefore stands in the nominative — ο ένας, η μία, το ένα — while the second half takes whatever case the verb or preposition demands. (Inside a noun phrase there is no subject to echo, so the first half just takes the case its own slot wants — normally a possessive genitive: ο σεβασμός του ενός προς τον άλλον, "each one's respect for the other" — (formal).) English each other is a single frozen object, which is exactly why learners case-mark the wrong half.
| Role | Masculine / mixed group | Feminine | Neuter |
|---|---|---|---|
| Direct object | ο ένας τον άλλον | η μία την άλλη | το ένα το άλλο |
| after σε (to, at) | ο ένας στον άλλον | η μία στην άλλη | το ένα στο άλλο |
| after για (for, about) | ο ένας για τον άλλον | η μία για την άλλη | το ένα για το άλλο |
| after από (from) | ο ένας από τον άλλον | η μία από την άλλη | το ένα από το άλλο |
| Genitive ("each other's") | ο ένας του άλλου | η μία της άλλης | το ένα του άλλου |
A mixed-gender group takes the masculine, as everywhere else in Greek agreement. In speech you will constantly hear ο ένας τον άλλο without the final -ν (informal); τον άλλον is the more careful written form, and both are accepted.
Οι δύο αδερφές στηρίζονται η μία την άλλη σε ό,τι κι αν γίνει.
i dhío adherfés stirízonde i mía tin áli se óti ki an yíni
The two sisters support each other whatever happens.
Τα δύο κουτάβια κοιμούνται κουλουριασμένα το ένα πάνω στο άλλο.
ta dhío kutávia kimúnde kuluriazména to éna páno sto álo
The two puppies sleep curled up on top of each other.
Φωνάζουν ο ένας στον άλλον αντί να κάτσουν να μιλήσουν.
fonázun o énas ston álon andí na kátsun na milísun
They shout at each other instead of sitting down and talking.
Δεν χρειάζεται να συμφωνούμε σε όλα, αρκεί να σεβόμαστε ο ένας τον άλλον.
dhen chriázete na simfonúme se óla, arkí na sevómaste o énas ton álon
We don't have to agree on everything, as long as we respect each other.
There is a third, (formal) route, mostly journalistic and academic: the prefix αλληλο- welded onto the verb — αλληλοϋποστηρίζονται, αλληλοκατηγορούνται, αλληλοβοηθιούνται. It is productive and worth recognising in the news; it is laid out on the prefix αλληλο-, and the full inventory of "each other" devices is on the reciprocal pronoun.
Οι δύο υπηρεσίες αλληλοκατηγορούνται αντί να λύσουν το πρόβλημα.
i dhío ipiresíes alilokatighorúnde andí na líson to próvlima
The two agencies are blaming each other instead of solving the problem. (formal / journalistic)
Not every reciprocal is a middle
Here is the point most textbooks skip, and it will keep you from over-using the middle. A number of verbs are reciprocal in their very meaning yet stay in the active voice — you cannot quarrel, resemble or get along with only one side present. The commonest are μαλώνω (quarrel), μοιάζω (look alike), συζητάω (discuss), plus the neuter-clitic idioms τα λέμε (we chat) (informal), τα βρίσκουμε (we come to terms), τα φτιάχνω με (get together with, romantically) (informal) and its opposite τα χαλάω (break up) (informal). With all of these the plain active already means "each other" — and they take the same με for the second party.
Τα ξαδέρφια μαλώνουν όλη μέρα και μετά παίζουν πάλι μαζί σαν να μην έγινε τίποτα.
ta ksadhérfia malónun óli méra ke metá pézun páli mazí san na min éyine típota
The cousins squabble all day and then play together again as if nothing had happened.
Τα λέω με τον Γιάννη κάθε Κυριακή στο τηλέφωνο.
ta léo me ton Yáni káthe Kiriakí sto tiléfono
Giannis and I catch up on the phone every Sunday. (informal)
Τα δίδυμα μοιάζουν τόσο που τα μπερδεύει και η δασκάλα τους.
ta dhídhima miázun tóso pu ta berdhévi ke i dhaskála tus
The twins look so alike that even their teacher mixes them up.
Τα έφτιαξε με μια κοπέλα από τη δουλειά και το κρατούσαν κρυφό για μήνες.
ta éftiakse me mia kopéla apó ti dhuliá ke to kratúsan krifó ya mínes
He got together with a girl from work and they kept it secret for months. (informal)
μαλώνω deserves a warning, because it looks like a candidate for the middle and is not one. Μαλώνουν — plain active — is how you say "they're quarrelling." The mediopassive μαλώνομαι, where you meet it at all, belongs to the other sense of μαλώνω, "to scold, tell off" (Με μάλωσε η μαμά μου), so it means "get told off," not "quarrel with each other." The mediopassive verb for quarrelling is τσακώνομαι.
The overlap with the plain passive
There is a genuine ambiguity here, and it is better to meet it head-on than to be surprised by it. Φιλιούνται can mean "they kiss each other" (reciprocal) or "they are kissed" (plain passive) — one form, two readings. Context usually settles it, and Greek has two clean signals when it doesn't:
- Add an agent with από ("by") and the reading is forced to passive.
- Add ο ένας τον άλλον (or μεταξύ τους) and the reading is forced to reciprocal.
Οι νεόνυμφοι φιλιούνται μπροστά στους καλεσμένους.
i neónimfi filiúnde brostá stus kalezménus
The newlyweds kiss each other in front of the guests. (reciprocal)
Τα εικονίσματα φιλιούνται από τους πιστούς στην είσοδο της εκκλησίας.
ta ikonízmata filiúnde apó tus pistús stin ísodho tis eklisías
The icons are kissed by the faithful at the entrance of the church. (passive — note the από-agent)
Οι καλοί δάσκαλοι αγαπιούνται από τους μαθητές τους.
i kalí dháskali aghapiúnde apó tus mathités tus
Good teachers are loved by their students. (passive — note the από-agent)
Δεν χρειάζονται λόγια, φαίνεται πόσο αγαπιούνται.
dhen chriázonde lóya, fénete póso aghapiúnde
No words are needed — you can see how much they love each other. (reciprocal, from context alone)
In practice animacy and plausibility do most of the work: two named people who αγαπιούνται, with no agent in sight, are loving each other, while icons that φιλιούνται are obviously on the receiving end. When context is not enough, reach for one of the two signals above; the mechanics of the agent phrase are on naming the agent with από.
Common Mistakes
1. Translating "each other" with the reflexive pronoun. Τον εαυτό τους means "themselves," not "each other" — it points each party back at itself, which is the opposite of what you want.
❌ Τα δύο χωριά βοήθησαν τον εαυτό τους μετά τον σεισμό.
Incorrect for 'each other' — τον εαυτό τους says each village helped itself. For 'each other' use the neuter το ένα το άλλο.
✅ Τα δύο χωριά βοήθησαν το ένα το άλλο μετά τον σεισμό.
ta dhío choriá voíthisan to éna to álo metá ton sizmó
The two villages helped each other after the earthquake.
2. Keeping the active verb with με. English meet with someone transfers straight into Greek and breaks: active συναντάω takes a bare object (συναντάω τη Μαρία), and it is the middle συναντιέμαι that takes με.
❌ Αύριο συναντάω με τη Μαρία για καφέ.
Incorrect — the active συναντάω takes a direct object with no με; with με the verb must be the middle συναντιέμαι.
✅ Αύριο συναντιέμαι με τη Μαρία για καφέ στο κέντρο.
ávrio sinandiéme me ti María ya kafé sto kéndro
Tomorrow I'm meeting Maria for coffee in town.
3. Case-marking the wrong half of ο ένας τον άλλον. The first element is a subject-echo and stays nominative, however the phrase is used.
❌ Στην ομάδα βοηθάνε τον έναν τον άλλον σε ό,τι χρειαστεί.
Incorrect — the first element echoes the subject and must be nominative: ο ένας τον άλλον.
✅ Στην ομάδα βοηθάνε ο ένας τον άλλον σε ό,τι χρειαστεί.
stin omádha voitháne o énas ton álon se óti chriastí
In the team they help each other with whatever comes up.
4. Building a middle out of μαλώνω. μαλώνω is already reciprocal in the active; its mediopassive belongs to the "scold" sense instead.
❌ Οι συγκάτοικοι μαλώνονται συνέχεια για τα πιάτα.
Incorrect for 'they quarrel' — that is the active μαλώνουν (or the middle τσακώνονται). Μαλώνονται would be read as 'they get told off'.
✅ Οι συγκάτοικοι μαλώνουν συνέχεια για τα πιάτα.
i singátiki malónun sinéchia ya ta piáta
The flatmates are forever squabbling about the dishes.
5. Rounding the -ιέμαι plural wrongly. The 3rd plural of the -ιέμαι class is -ιούνται, with -ού-; ×-ιόνται does not exist.
❌ Οι δύο οικογένειες δεν μιλιόνται από τον καβγά στον γάμο.
Incorrect — the 3pl of μιλιέμαι is μιλιούνται, with -ού-.
✅ Οι δύο οικογένειες δεν μιλιούνται από τον καβγά στον γάμο.
i dhío ikoyénies dhen miliúnde apó ton kavghá ston ghámo
The two families haven't been on speaking terms since the row at the wedding.
Key Takeaways
- The reciprocal needs two parties, not a plural subject: either both inside the subject (Ο Νίκος και η Μαρία συναντιούνται) or one as subject and one after με (Συναντιέμαι με τη Μαρία). The singular pattern is the one you will use most.
- The core reciprocal middles are αγαπιούνται, φιλιούνται, συναντιούνται, χαιρετιούνται, αγκαλιάζονται, βλέπονται, γνωρίζονται, τσακώνονται, plus μιλιούνται, which reports whether two people are on speaking terms — usually met in the negative, δεν μιλιούνται.
- μεταξύ τους (standard, everyday) keeps the action inside the group; ο ένας τον άλλον pairs the parties one to one. The first half echoes the subject and stands in the nominative, the second takes the case the verb or preposition demands — including the neuter το ένα το άλλο.
- Some reciprocals are inherently active: μαλώνουν (quarrel), μοιάζουν (look alike), τα λένε, τα βρίσκουν, τα φτιάχνω με. μαλώνομαι is not the reciprocal of μαλώνω — for quarrelling in the middle voice the verb is τσακώνομαι.
- Mind the overlap with the passive: φιλιούνται = "they kiss each other" or "they are kissed" — από forces the passive reading, ο ένας τον άλλον or μεταξύ τους forces the reciprocal.
- For the formal, written "each other," Greek also welds αλληλο- onto the verb (αλληλοκατηγορούνται) — recognise it in the news, and use the everyday devices in speech.
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Start learning Greek →Related Topics
- Reciprocal: 'each other'B1 — The full inventory of Greek's 'each other' devices: the verb ending, the everyday μεταξύ τους, and the precise ο ένας τον άλλον — how the phrase is built out of two slots (a nominative echo of the subject, then whatever case the verb or preposition wants), why the preposition goes in the middle, the feminine η μία την άλλη and neuter το ένα το άλλο, the genitive ο ένας του άλλου, the sequential ο ένας μετά τον άλλον, and the learned αλλήλων you read but never say.
- The Prefix αλληλο- (mutual action)C1 — The learned reciprocal αλληλο- / αλληλ- is word-formation, not syntax: it is welded into the verb or noun before the sentence starts. Which slot is still productive (mediopassive verbs, coined live in journalism), why the prefix kills the passive reading that the bare middle leaves open, how far the nouns have drifted from 'each other' (αλληλεγγύη, αλληλογραφία, αλληλουχία), where the diaeresis in αλληλοϋποστήριξη comes from, and why αμοιβαίος is usually the better formal choice.
- Reflexive Use of the Middle VoiceB1 — How Greek uses the mediopassive -ομαι ending to say you do something to yourself — πλένομαι (wash), ντύνομαι (get dressed), χτενίζομαι (comb one's hair), ετοιμάζομαι (get ready) — why the ending itself is the 'myself', when the marked τον εαυτό μου is needed instead, and why body parts take active + possessive (πλένω τα χέρια μου).
- Present Mediopassive: -ιέμαιB1 — How the -άω verbs (Conjugation Β1, like αγαπάω) build their mediopassive present — αγαπιέμαι, αγαπιέσαι, αγαπιέται — where the -ι- glide comes from, the synizesis that keeps it one syllable, and the reciprocal 'kiss/love each other' meaning that makes -ιούνται so common.