跟 / 和 (gēn / hé): With | Chinese (Mandarin) Grammar

跟 (gēn) and 和 (hé) are the everyday words for "with" — the person you do something together with. As coverbs they introduce a co-participant before the verb: 我跟他说话 ("I talk with him"), 你和我一起去 ("you go together with me"), 跟朋友吃饭 ("eat with friends"). The trap for English speakers is pure word order: English trails the "with" phrase — "talk with him," "eat with friends" — but Chinese fronts it, so 跟他 and 和朋友 come before the verb, not after. Get that flip right and both words behave the same way.

The core pattern: 跟 / 和 + person + verb

The comitative phrase (跟/和 + person) sets up who you're doing it with, then the verb states the action. The two words are largely interchangeable as "with"; 跟 sounds more spoken, 和 a touch more neutral or written.

周末我常跟朋友一起打球。

zhōumò wǒ cháng gēn péngyou yìqǐ dǎ qiú

On weekends I often play ball with friends. (informal) — 跟朋友 leads; the verb 打球 follows.

你能不能跟我说说到底怎么了？

nǐ néng bu néng gēn wǒ shuōshuo dàodǐ zěnme le

Can you tell me what on earth happened? (informal) — 跟我 before 说说.

我想和你商量一件事。

wǒ xiǎng hé nǐ shāngliang yí jiàn shì

I'd like to talk something over with you. (neutral) — 和你 sets the co-participant.

她昨天跟男朋友吵架了。

tā zuótiān gēn nán péngyou chǎojià le

She had a fight with her boyfriend yesterday. (informal) — a fight is mutual, so 跟.

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The comitative phrase often pairs with 一起 (yìqǐ, "together"): 跟他一起去 ("go together with him"). 一起 is optional and adds "together," but 跟/和 is the part that's grammatically required — it's what links the two people. Drop 一起 and the sentence still works; drop 跟/和 and it breaks.

跟 / 和 also join two nouns — but only nouns

Besides "with," 和 (and 跟) do the job of English "and" between two nouns: 我和你 ("you and I"), 咖啡和茶 ("coffee and tea"). This is where English speakers over-reach. English "and" also joins verbs and whole clauses — "I went to the store and bought milk" — but Chinese 和/跟 can only link nouns. You cannot use them to string together two actions or two sentences; Chinese just runs the verbs in sequence, or uses 然后 ("then").

我和我妹妹都在上海工作。

wǒ hé wǒ mèimei dōu zài Shànghǎi gōngzuò

My younger sister and I both work in Shanghai. (neutral) — 和 joins two nouns.

我去商店买了点东西。

wǒ qù shāngdiàn mǎi le diǎn dōngxi

I went to the store and bought a few things. (informal) — two verbs run in sequence, NO 和 between them.

Word	Register	Typical use
跟 (gēn)	colloquial, spoken	everyday "with"; 跟他说
和 (hé)	neutral, spoken & written	"with" and noun "and"; 和你一起
同 (tóng)	semi-formal	formal speech, some regions
与 (yǔ)	formal, literary	titles, headlines, contracts

The two formal partners 同 and 与 get their own 同 / 与 page; here just note that they sit at the written end of the same scale.

跟…一样 and 跟…说: two high-frequency frames

Two fixed patterns come up constantly. 跟…一样 (gēn…yíyàng) means "the same as," and 跟…说 (gēn…shuō) is the standard way to say "tell / say to" someone.

我和你一样，也不喜欢开车。

wǒ hé nǐ yíyàng, yě bù xǐhuan kāi chē

Same as you, I don't like driving either. (informal) — 和…一样 for comparison.

有问题就跟老师说。

yǒu wèntí jiù gēn lǎoshī shuō

If you have a problem, tell the teacher. (informal) — 跟 is the standard 'say to'.

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For "tell / say to someone," standard Mandarin uses 跟 or 对, not 给 — 跟我说 / 对我说, never 给我说 (that's regional northern speech). This makes 跟 one of the most-used coverbs of all: almost every "tell / talk to / discuss with" sentence runs on it.

Common Mistakes

1. Trailing the "with" phrase, English-style. The co-participant leads; it can't sit after the verb.

❌ 我说话跟他。

Wrong order — the 'with' phrase comes first: 我跟他说话.

✅ 我跟他说话。

wǒ gēn tā shuōhuà

I'm talking with him. — 跟他 before 说话.

2. Using 和/跟 to join two verbs or clauses like English 'and'. They only link nouns; run the actions in sequence instead.

❌ 我去商店和买东西。

Incorrect — 和 can't join two actions; just say 我去商店买东西.

✅ 我去商店买东西。

wǒ qù shāngdiàn mǎi dōngxi

I go to the store and buy things. — verbs in sequence, no 和.

3. Using 对 where mutual interaction is meant. Chatting or arguing is two-way, so it takes 跟, not the one-directional 对.

❌ 我不想对他聊天。

Incorrect — chatting is mutual, so use 跟: 我不想跟他聊天.

✅ 我不想跟他聊天。

wǒ bù xiǎng gēn tā liáotiān

I don't want to chat with him. — 跟 for a two-way action.

4. Dropping the coverb between two people and a verb. Two nouns can't just flank a verb; the relationship needs 跟/和 to mark it.

❌ 我他一起去。

Incorrect — 'I' and 'him' need a coverb: 我跟他一起去.

✅ 我跟他一起去。

wǒ gēn tā yìqǐ qù

I'll go together with him. — 跟他 links the two people.

Key Takeaways

跟 and 和 mean "with (someone)" and put the co-participant before the verb: 跟朋友吃饭, 和你一起去.
跟 is more colloquial, 和 more neutral; for formal writing, use 同 or 与 instead.
As "and," 和/跟 join only nouns (我和你) — never two verbs or clauses; English "and" between actions has no 和 in Chinese.
Two workhorses: 跟…一样 ("same as") and 跟…说 ("tell / say to" — never 给我说).
Keep 跟 (mutual "with") apart from 对 (one-way attitude): 跟他聊天 vs 对他笑.

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