skämmas means "to be ashamed" or "to feel embarrassed." It is a deponent — one of that small class of Swedish verbs that always carry an -s yet are completely active in meaning. So although skäms looks like a passive, it never is, and you must never strip the -s off. This is an emotional deponent: like hoppas (hope) and trivas (feel at home), it describes an inner state you are in, not something done to you. This card lays out its forms, the preposition it governs (skämmas för), and the one-word command every learner should recognise: Skäms!
Principal parts
| Infinitive | Present | Preteritum (past) | Supine | Imperative | Type |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| skämmas | skäms | skämdes | skämts | skäms (Skäms!) | s-deponent (Group 2-like) |
Every form keeps the -s — that is the whole point of a deponent. Note the vowel: it is ä throughout the stem (skäms, skämdes, skämts), never *skams or *skoms. The present skäms is contracted (the infinitive skämmas loses a syllable), the past skämdes takes the Group-2 -de ending with the -s welded on (skäm-de-s), and the supine skämts (used after har/hade) is skäm-t-s. Unusually for a deponent, skämmas does have a live imperative — Skäms! — because shaming someone is a real speech act. Like all Swedish verbs, the form does not change for person: jag skäms, hon skäms, vi skäms are all identical.
Jag skäms över hur jag betedde mig igår.
I'm ashamed of how I behaved yesterday. skäms = present, deponent — the -s is permanent.
Hon skämdes och tittade ner i golvet.
She was ashamed and looked down at the floor. skämdes = past, with the -de- infix kept inside the -s.
Jag har aldrig skämts så mycket i hela mitt liv.
I've never been so ashamed in my whole life. har skämts = perfect, supine after har.
Use 1: being ashamed of something — skämmas för
To say what you are ashamed of, Swedish uses skämmas för ("be ashamed of") — för is the standard preposition. You can also be ashamed över something (a near-synonym, slightly more about an event or behaviour), but för is the default and the safest choice.
Du behöver inte skämmas för att du grät.
You don't have to be ashamed that you cried. skämmas för + att-clause = 'be ashamed that…'.
Han skäms för sin brytning, men det borde han inte.
He's embarrassed about his accent, but he shouldn't be. skämmas för + noun = 'ashamed of [a thing]'.
Jag skämdes för mitt röriga rum när gästerna kom.
I was embarrassed about my messy room when the guests arrived. för introduces the cause of the shame.
Use 2: being ashamed on someone else's behalf — skämmas för någon
The same skämmas för can mean being ashamed on behalf of someone — second-hand embarrassment, the cringe you feel watching someone else. Context tells the two apart.
Jag skäms å mina landsmäns vägnar.
I'm ashamed on behalf of my fellow countrymen. å någons vägnar = 'on someone's behalf', a fixed formal phrase. (formal)
Sluta — jag skäms för dig!
Stop it — I'm embarrassed for you! Here skämmas för någon is the 'second-hand cringe' sense. (informal)
Use 3: the bare imperative — Skäms!
Said on its own, Skäms! is a sharp rebuke: "Shame on you!" / "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" It is one of the few deponents you will ever hear as a command, and it is genuinely used — by a parent, a friend, or in mock outrage between equals.
Skäms! Hur kunde du säga så till din mormor?
Shame on you! How could you say that to your grandmother? The bare imperative Skäms! = a direct rebuke.
Skäms på dig! Det var ju inte schyst.
Shame on you! That really wasn't fair. Skäms på dig is a common reinforced variant. (informal)
A note on register and tone
Skämmas is emotionally weightier than English "embarrassed." For mild, everyday awkwardness Swedes more often reach for generad ("embarrassed", adjective) or pinsam ("awkward, cringeworthy", of a situation). Reserve skämmas for genuine shame, real cringe, or the deliberately dramatic Skäms!
Common Mistakes
❌ Jag skäm för det jag sa.
Incorrect — skämmas is a deponent; the -s never drops. The present is skäms.
✅ Jag skäms för det jag sa.
I'm ashamed of what I said.
❌ Jag skammar mig. (treating it as a reflexive)
Incorrect — skämmas is not a reflexive with mig; the -s itself carries the meaning. Use skäms (no mig).
✅ Jag skäms.
I'm ashamed.
❌ Han skämdes av sitt misstag.
Off — the preposition is för (or över), not av. You're ashamed FÖR something.
✅ Han skämdes för sitt misstag.
He was ashamed of his mistake.
❌ Jag har skämt så mycket. (supine without -s)
Incorrect — the supine of the deponent keeps the -s: skämts. (skämt without -s would be the noun 'a joke'.)
✅ Jag har skämts så mycket.
I've been so ashamed.
❌ Skamma dig!
Incorrect — the imperative keeps the deponent -s: Skäms! (note the ä, not a).
✅ Skäms!
Shame on you!
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Start learning Swedish→Related Topics
- Deponent Verbs (s-verbs That Aren't Passive)B1 — A small but extremely common set of Swedish verbs that always end in -s yet mean something fully active: hoppas ('hope'), trivas ('feel at home'), lyckas ('succeed'), minnas ('remember'), andas ('breathe'), and — most importantly — finnas, the everyday verb for 'there is'. You never strip the -s, and you use one of these constantly without realising it forms a category.
- Using the Verb ReferenceA2 — How to read the single-verb reference cards and the principal-parts citation system that underpins them. Every Swedish verb is cited as a short chain — infinitive – present – preteritum – supine – (past participle) — because every other form is derivable from those parts. This page decodes one weak verb (tala – talar – talade – talat) and one strong verb (skriva – skriver – skrev – skrivit – skriven), explains the conjugation-group labels (1/2/3/4), and gives a key to everything on a card.
- Feelings and Physical StatesA2 — Saying how you feel in Swedish: må for overall health (Hur mår du? Jag mår bra), känna sig + adjective for transient feelings (Jag känner mig trött/stressad), and the have-construction for pain — ha ont i + body part (Jag har ont i huvudet, literally 'I have pain in the head'), where English uses a body part as subject ('my head hurts').