The Imperfect for Politeness

Walk into a Greek café and ask for a coffee with Θέλω έναν καφέ — "I want a coffee" — and you will be understood, but you will also sound blunt, almost like an order. Say instead Ήθελα έναν καφέ — literally "I wanted a coffee" — and you sound exactly right: warm, polite, the way a native customer actually orders. This is one of the most useful things the imperfect does, and English speakers already know the trick without realizing it, because English does the very same thing.

Why a past tense sounds polite

The logic is a small piece of pragmatic magic shared across many languages. A request in the plain present is immediate and face-to-face: I want this, now, from you. Shifting the verb into the past puts a step of distance between you and the demand — as if the wish were something you had a moment ago rather than a claim you are pressing right now. That temporal distance reads socially as deference: less pushy, more room for the other person to say no. It is precisely the move English makes with "I was wondering…," "I wanted to ask…," "I was hoping…." None of those is really about the past; all of them soften a present request by backing it up in time. Greek does it with a single imperfect verb.

The present and the polite imperfect, side by side

Neither of these is wrong — they differ in register. The present is direct and fine among friends or when brisk efficiency is expected; the imperfect is the softer, more courteous default with strangers, in shops, and in any request you want to cushion.

The same contrast runs through requests introduced by να. Compare the blunt present with the courteous imperfect:

Ήθελα να… — the polite opener

Ήθελα να σας ρωτήσω… ("I wanted to ask you…") is the standard courteous way to introduce a question or request — the exact counterpart of English "I wanted to ask you something." It signals that you are about to impose a little, and asks leave to do so:

Μπορούσα / Μπορούσατε — "could you…"

The same softening works on μπορώ "can, be able." The present Μπορείτε να…; is a normal "can you…?"; the imperfect Μπορούσατε να…; is the gentler "could you…?", once again distancing the request in time. And Μπορούσα να…; turns a request for permission into a delicate one — "could I…?":

The imperfect can even frame the whole approach as a tentative, half-apologetic errand — Ερχόμουν να… ("I was coming to…"), as if you had merely been on your way to trouble them:

Even more polite: θα ήθελα

There is one step further up the ladder of courtesy. Adding θα turns the polite imperfect into the conditional θα ήθελα "I would like" — the most formal, most deferential of all, and the phrasing you will see on menus, in shops, and in any careful request. It out-polites plain ήθελα by yet another notch:

The three degrees, then, run: Θέλω (direct) → Ήθελα (polite) → Θα ήθελα (most polite/formal). The conditional layer, with its other uses, is covered on the conditional for politeness; for the wider toolkit of softening a request, see making requests.

Common Mistakes

1. Dropping the augment from ήθελα. The imperfect of θέλω keeps its η- in the singular; there is no ×θέλα.

2. Putting the object of ήθελα in the nominative. θέλω/ήθελα is transitive; what you want is a direct object in the accusative.

3. Using the aorist μπόρεσα for a polite request. For "could you…?" use the imperfect μπορούσες/μπορούσατε; the aorist μπόρεσα asks whether someone actually managed something in the past.

4. Using an imperfective verb after ήθελα να for a one-off act. A single, bounded request takes the perfective dependent (ρωτήσω), not the imperfective (ρωτάω).

Key Takeaways

• The imperfect softens a request or wish by distancing it in time — the same move as English "I was wondering / I wanted to ask."
• Ήθελα ("I'd like") is the everyday polite alternative to the blunt present Θέλω ("I want"); the difference is register, not grammar, so both are correct.
• Ήθελα να σας ρωτήσω… is the standard courteous opener, and Μπορούσατε / Μπορούσα να…; is the polite "could you / could I…?"
• Adding θα gives the most formal degree, θα ήθελα "I would like": Θέλω → Ήθελα → Θα ήθελα.
• Keep the augment (ήθελα, not ×θέλα), the object in the accusative, and the verb after να in the perfective for a one-off request (ρωτήσω, not ρωτάω).